Try To Get The Most Out Of Your Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsDivorce mediation is regarded as the more civil and peaceful way for couples to get themselves divorced. Divorce as a process can leave a sense of bitterness in the couples – divorce mediation on the other hand rectifies this problem by encouraging the couples to solve their issues themselves through dialogue. This means that a sense of cooperation and consultation is likely to begin between the spouses which might not mend their fences altogether but it will stop them from deteriorating further.

Why It Should Work For You?

Mediation is a process that involves no judge – only an Orange County divorce mediator. And the mediator doesn’t decide the case, rather facilitates and encourages the couples to talk their differences out and agree a solution among them. This means the result of divorce mediation depends on each of the spouse. For a mediation to be successful, the mindset of the spouses going into the process matters more than any other thing.

If the spouses go into the process wanting to win, then divorce mediation is unlikely to garner positive results because there will be no sense of cooperation, the spouses will only want to maneuver each other to get the greatest monetary advantage. Yet if the spouses use the same process and go with the mentality of ending their marriage and solving the pending issues amicably, the results are likely to be very different. In such a case, each spouse will be willing to make concessions and accept the rights of the other parties, which will allow the couples to maximize the gains of the divorce mediation process.

What You Need For Orange County Divorce Mediation

Mediation processes are dependent on the discussion and agreement of a solution between the two spouses. This means that if the other party doesn’t agree to the proposed solution, there might have to be a new solution proposed that’s acceptable to that particular party. The most important thing in such a situation for you is to know what your demands are and you should come into the mediation process prepared. If after several attempts a solution isn’t reached, you’ll need the law on your side to make sure you don’t get the rough side of the bargain.

Researching beforehand is another way to achieve it. You should back your point and demand with legal arguments that should be compelling to the other spouse. Another important aspect is being aware of the financial position. Finances take up most of the time in any kind of  divorce mediation and you’ll be able to garner the best results of your mediation process if you knew the financial position and thus could easily protect your rights and rightful assets.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Protecting The Legacy Of Your Family In A Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsThe most important thing for most people is their family. All age groups of people right from the age of infancy to the age of retirement cherish their families. Most families are known to have a certain reputation in the society.

This reputation is based on many factors that can range from the contributions of the elders to that area to the way they have social interactions and relation with people. For people that live in Orange County, the love and affection for their families is no different.

Divorce, on the other hand, is associated with words like end, breaking up, and emotional stress. Most divorces can be a torment for the person going through it. Divorces are known to be able to break even the strongest of people emotionally.

When two people who had pledged to stay together separate, this separation isn’t only limited to them but the effects of the divorce tend to reach one’s family too. When a couple comes to the conclusion of getting involved in a divorce, there are two ways available to both of them. One way of divorce is through the courts and the process of litigation while the other one is through Orange County divorce mediation.

The Effect of Litigation

In this article, we will look at both the options and how they can affect or protect the family’s reputation while the divorce process is going on and after it has finished.  Divorce can be achieved by couples through litigation in courts, but the process of litigation brings the two spouses at almost warring fronts against each other.

In courts, the mentality that usually prevails in divorce cases is an “us against them” mentality, which only leads to more bitterness in the courtroom and in the future correspondence between the clients. What effect does it have on the families? Court rooms are public places and the level of mudslinging going on in courts tarnish the reputation of both the spouses and their families in front of the general public. Another reason for a litigation divorce’s negative effect on the reputation of one’s family is that even to this day a small minority of traditionalists are against the act of divorce.

The Effect of Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is another way for the couples to get separated. Unlike the process of litigation, divorce mediation is a process that works on the cooperation of the spouses with each other for the resolution of their issues.

This process is based on things such as mutual respect, and open, honest communication, which makes it a more harmonious way to get separated. What effects do divorces have on the reputation of the people involved? While there will be those who take the traditional road to litigation, the fact that the issues can be solved through divorce mediation between the parties without the need for the dispute going public means that most of the family’s reputation will remain intact.

The bottom line is that the best way to protect a family’s reputation in divorce is by separating through the divorce mediation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

How To Use Your Social Network To Manage Divorce Stress

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediator lawyers Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsDepression and grief are natural reactions to a divorce and it is normal to feel down and strained when you are going through your divorce. Changes in life such as these can be hard to handle for most people. In such situations, it is vital that you reach out for support socially. Social support can make you feel empowered in your life helping you get through such grief stricken situations.

The best way to reach out to the social support is through social networks, which are the hub of the online society. To feel aggrieved is natural in your life after such a drastic change such as a divorce, but the sooner you relieve yourself from this stress the faster you’ll get your life back on track and create a better and happier life. Here are a few steps you can get the social support that’s much needed in your predicament.

Know Your Inner Circle

Your inner circle consists of the people who you talk to about things that are hidden from the world, people with whom you share your stories. One sign of judging who these people are is that they will pick your call even in the middle of the night. An inner circle is usually your parents, siblings, and your closest friends.

Get in Touch with Your Inner Circle

Once you know who your inner circle is, it’s then vital that you reach out to them. Reaching out to them is you making that initial contact with them, a phone call, or the large text message. Remember the people in your inner circle genuinely care for you and the slightest issue that you have will be at the top of their priority whether it be an illness or a fornia divorce.

Tell Them About It

Keeping emotions under wrap for too long can ultimately result in them bottling up and causing conflict confusing, and chaos within you.  There may be emotions of shame coming through your divorce and after it. Yet it’s important to let those emotions out, because only once those emotions are let out will there be space for you to have a new light and fresher perspectives.

Connect With Those That Have Gone Through A Divorce

Social media is a large global community. There are all kinds of people on the social network. It will be comforting for you to reach out and get connected with people who aren’t part of your inner circle but have gone through a divorce. Such individuals are likely to have the best pieces of advice for you and they will prove to be a source of inspiration and guidance since they’ll understand you better than most.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

How To Manage Your Expectations In Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsCouples that are going through divorce are most commonly worried about their finances and how their financial position isn’t ideal anymore. Irrespective of whatever way you decide to divide the finances, there will always be the nagging feeling that what amount was once used to run one household is now being used to support two. It is a difficult pill to swallow, but it’s important to ensure the well being of you and your partner. Some people come to mediation expecting they will not have to change the amount they spend on themselves or their lifestyles. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.

Having said that, if you want financial security to be achieved to the best of your potential, divorce mediation is just the thing for you. For starters, instead of both of you fighting a long litigation battle worth thousands of dollars, it’s cheaper and more effective to come to divorce mediation. Once you decide to mediate your divorce, you should come with reasonable expectations, here are a few tips on how to manage your expectations during divorce mediation:

Understand What Separate Property Is

Separate property is the property that is wholly and solely yours unless some exceptions specific to your case apply. The property that you come into the marriage with or the property that you have inherited during the marriage is only going to be regarded as your separate property. Once you are clear about that and you come into divorce mediation, you should remember that a separate property does not get divided 50/50 between the couples.

Why does it help in curtailing expectations? When you come into divorce mediation, knowing the minor details will help you understand how your property will be treated and you’ll thus have expectations knowing what’s fair and reasonable for you to get.

Review Your Finances

Something that is common among many couples today is that one of the spouses hasn’t looked at the other’s finances for years and is unaware of their current financial position. This spouse has no idea of the income and how the finances of the house are being managed. Sometimes, this lack of knowledge results in them assuming there is a lot more money to be divided than there really is.

How to curtail these misconceptions? When you start your mediation process, your Orange County divorce mediator will tell both of you about each others’ financial position so that during the division of finances there are no lofty expectations leading to disappointment at the end of it.

Learning about your financial position and the details regarding your properties is time spent wisely because these ensure that your expectations are managed. Knowing these facts will help you align your expectations in respect to the black and white numbers that will now be in your knowledge.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Better Way For A 21st Century Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsWhen most people hear the word “divorce,” they think of distrust, couples stressing out, losing control in a court room, leaving a lasting impression on the children who now have to be raised in a broken family. These are all mere thoughts established on false perceptions and stereotypes. In reality, this isn’t the only way divorces happen.

It is a growing belief in divorcing couples that it’s merely an end of a relationship and not the end of the world, and there are different divorce methods that give them the desired result without the publicity of a court. Particularly in California, divorce mediation is one of them.  Divorce mediation is an alternative to the litigation process. This method is also known as the 21st Century method of divorce. There are several advantages to this process over litigation:

Creative Solutions

In a world of technology that is made to be customizable, it’s almost fitting that divorce mediation solutions are innovative and creative to tackle your specific situation. In mediation, there is no judge but a mediator who isn’t bound by the limits of law and allows the couples to think outside the box for solutions they are comfortable with.

Flexibility

Divorce mediation in Orange County and all over the U.S. allows couples to be able to decide the times of their mediation through mutual understandings, keeping in mind their professional and personal commitments. Mediation puts the ball in the court of the spouses to decide the pace of the proceedings and the time period in which to achieve a solution.

Cost-Effective

When you go to a court for litigation, there are several fees from case registration to lawyer fees to consultancy fees incurred individually. In divorce mediation though, the costs of lawyers etc. are eliminated, there are only a few costs that are shared among the couple which means the process of mediation costs almost a fraction of litigation.

Win-Win Mentality

This is one of the biggest advantages of divorce mediation. In litigation cases, there are two sides and only one is bound to win, promoting negativity and resentment. California divorce mediators make mediation a form of solving issues through cooperation which means the couples start to focus on beneficial common grounds and compromises for each other promoting mutually beneficial mentality of win-win for both parties.

Your Fate In Your Hands

You are your best judge. Divorce mediation is a process that gives you the power over your decisions. Mediators allow couples and spouses to identify important issues and lead them to a constructive solution that they want. As opposed to a judge that decides cases in litigation, you decide what’s best for you, all the while the mediator assisting you every step of the way.

The more you get to know about, the more divorce mediation seems like the 21st Century alternative to divorces through litigation. If you want to avoid a messy divorce, consider California Divorce Mediators for a simpler transition in life.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Benefits of Divorce Mediation for Business Owners

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation orange county; California Divorce MediatorsIt is said that entrepreneurs have a high divorce rate.  If this is true, it is because building a business can require years of dedication, effort and singular focus.

And this is one reason that anyone who owns a business should consider divorce mediation before litigated divorce.

As Crain’s Chicago Business noted in a recent article, divorce has taken down many businesses, and it is often because lawyers have more financial incentive to draw the process out and create more conflict than to swiftly and levelheadedly resolve all of the issues.

In the article, Steve Thorne, an accountant with Deloitte Tax, exhorts divorcing couples to work together on the financial and practical issues.  For example, business valuations can be expensive, so Thorne advises that couples agree on a single valuation company and divide the cost rather than paying for separate valuations (which can cost tens of thousands of dollars).

Many business owners think that mediation simply isn’t an option, because of the complexity of the financial and legal issues at hand.  And it is true that for some issues, a lawyer will be necessary to draw up a particular legal agreement as it relates to the business.

But a trained divorce mediator, working in conjunction with accountants and other professionals, can create agreements between the divorcing spouses on all of the issues, so that the use of a lawyer can be targeted, limited, and cost effective.

Divorcing spouses who intend to continue running the business together can benefit greatly from mediation.  A successful, low-drama mediation can be a cornerstone for the kind of collaboration that will be needed to work together on the business.

But perhaps the most important benefit of divorce mediation, when it comes to the health of the business itself, is that it resolves the divorce with less money and time spent.  As Thorne indicates, litigated divorces can cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and take years to complete.  That is a lot of time and money to take away from a business intended to support you and your loved ones for years to come.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

If I use divorce mediation, will I have to go to court?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsIn California, couples who use mediation can obtain a complete, legal divorce without ever having to go to court.  In fact, the Judicial Branch of California officially recommends that all couples consider divorce mediation as a way to save money while avoiding the hassle and stress of court appearances.

But using mediation does not mean that a couple cannot go to court.  For example, a couple may use mediation to create agreements about property and custody, and then still choose to go before a judge to resolve another issue, such as spousal support.  In these cases, the use of mediation to resolve some issues out of court still saves time and money.

For those couples who resolve all issues through mediation, court appearances are unnecessary and the divorce can be finalized in the mail. A trained mediator can draw up all of the necessary paperwork and guide the divorcing parties through the process.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Key Differences between Divorce Mediation, Collaborative Divorce, and Litigation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsThe saying, “Till death do us part,” never really lives up to what it dictates with more partners opting for divorce courts instead of living happily ever after.  For those seeking to divorce when divorce is the only remaining option, such parties can choose to get divorced by seeking a divorce mediation, collaborative divorce, or litigation. These divorce methods are different from each other in these ways:

What is Divorce Mediation?

The pair who is splitting up hires a divorce mediator to help them establish a settlement agreement. The mediator doesn’t favor one party over the other, but works neutrally with both parties.

Advantages

  • Helps to maintain an cordial relationship with your partner even after the divorce
  • Children will not be caught in middle of a child custody battle in the instance you have kids
  • Speeds up the divorce proceedings
  • Less expensive
  • The partners make the decision and not the court
  • Lets two people handle the divorce in private

Disadvantages

  • If two people are not able to reach an agreement, some additional money and time will have been spent in the process
  • An inexperienced divorce mediator may be biased towards one partner
  • If the agreement is not drafted correctly or if legal problems arise, it can be challenged in court (which can be a problem if the mediator is not also an experienced divorce attorney)
  • The agreement may not be fair if one partner overpowers the other partner

What is Collaborative Divorce?

In order to avoid going to court, the separating partners can decide to go the route of collaborative divorce, which is a separate system where each party agrees to that system.  By doing so, each party is represented by a collaborative divorce attorney trained in collaborative divorce.  In addition, there is a financial professional involved that handles all of the financial disclosure work, and generally one or both parties also have a “divorce coach” involved, such as a therapist.  In other words, there can be at least 4 professionals involved in the collaborative divorce process.

Advantages

  • Provides the partners with solutions to reach an amicable settlement agreement
  • The process is meant to resolve cases peacefully out of court
  • The couple divorcing are in-charge of deciding what to do with their lawyers advising them along the way
  • Lets partners address a variety of issues unlike in court

Disadvantages

  • Unlike divorce mediation where there is generally just the divorce mediator involved, the collaborative divorce process involves multiple professionals, all of which must be paid for their services.  As a result, the collaborative divorce process is not necessarily a cost-effective way to resolve divorce cases compared to divorce mediation
  • If an agreement is not reached, the collaborative divorce attorneys will have to resign from the case and the partners will have to appoint new attorneys, as neither party can hire the same attorney

What is Litigated Divorce?

Litigated divorce is the most common divorce, as the two parties hire separate attorneys and fight in court on the issues of divorce such as child custody and the distribution of assets.

Advantages

  • Most common divorce procedure
  • Best for divorcing parties who cannot work together in resolving their disputes
  • The most appropriate procedure where domestic violence or abuse is involved

Disadvantages

  • It’s expensive and produces financial distress for the average divorcing family
  • If the partners have children, child custody battle could turn ugly
  • Often puts children in the middle of the divorce disputes and causes the most emotional damage to children
  • Tends to take the most time to resolve
  • Produces animosity, stress, and fuels further litigation
  • Results in court orders not worked out by the parties and which might not be as enforceable as a result

If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Orange County Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.  As Orange County divorce mediators and Orange County divorce lawyers, we have the experience to help you decide if divorce mediation is a good option for you and your situation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Posted on Friday, August 1st, 2014. Filed under California Divorce Mediation, California Family Law, Divorce, Divorce Mediation, Family Law, Mediation, Orange County divorce, Orange County divorce mediation, Orange County divorce mediators.
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4 Ways to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner During a Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsWhen two people decide to part ways, they may not be on speaking terms with each other, but may still want an amicable settlement that can be done efficiently and quickly without the intrusion of lawyers fighting a costly battle for the rights of their clients.

Whatever your issues are with each other, you need to put them aside prior to coming to the table and proceeding with divorce mediation in Orange County, California. In order to come up with an agreement that both parties are satisfied with, communication needs to be clear, unbiased, and free of emotion (albeit sometimes easier said than done). For divorce mediation to be successful, adopt the following ways to communicate effectively:

1.     Choose a Neutral Stance on Issues

When talking with a mediator, many hot button issues may come up such as child custody, who gets the house, and other financial issues. Either you can take on a stubborn and unwavering approach when addressing these issues or you can ask your partner’s input on the issue, come up with reasonable solutions, and come to an understanding agreed on by both of you.

2.     Listen to Your Partner

Ask your partner to voice up their concerns first before you share your input on it. By taking turns speaking and sharing views on certain issues, the mediator can make an agreement that is fair to both parties. While your partner is speaking, be sure to keep quiet and be attentive to what they are trying to communicate. Even if you do not agree with them, do not interrupt them mid-way. When it’s your turn to speak, they may do the same.

3.     Make Certain that You Fully Understand the Agreement

Neither of you want to be misunderstood while communicating your views. If your partner says something, ask them again to avoid confusion when the settlement agreement is drawn up. Remember to use a respectful tone when asking them to clarify their point. Do not jump on them about something you don’t agree with before hearing it the second time. If you give them respect, they will give you respect in return. Listen to them, ask them again, and only then agree on it.

4.     Present Your Views in an Objective Manner

Just like in a court of law where someone has to provide the judge with proof to prove their client’s innocence, you need to do the same during divorce mediation.  You want the issues solved rather than become bigger than they already are.

In order to do that, you need to present your views on issues objectively. Provide them with evidence to back up your claim. For instance, the issue to keep or sell the house should be dealt with by providing evidence from different real estate agents on the value of the house.

By incorporating this communication technique while negotiating with your partner on issues, you both will be able to agree on a settlement in a good-natured manner.

If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable California divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Why Older Couples Above The Age of 50 Should Choose Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsWhat happens when couples at a later stage in their life decide to part ways? In most cases, they don’t have young children, but they do have assets they need to divide. Also, their children will still be left shocked knowing that their parents are planning to separate after spending a lifetime together. In short, getting divorced after 50 will not be any easier than getting divorced at a younger age. Therefore, couples over the age of 50 should choose a divorce mediator to guide them through this tough time.

A Divorce Mediator Will Make Things Easier

It is safe to assume that couples over the age of 50 have had several years to work on their marriage (apart from a few exceptions). If a couple, where both partners are over the age of 50, is getting divorced, there can be a number of reasons behind it. Maybe after years of trying to work on their marriage, they finally decided to throw in the towel. Maybe one party retired and stared spending more time at home, resulting in more conflict and more arguments than usual. No matter what the reason, the divorce has to be handled in a responsible way.

Although couples over the age of 50 may not have to worry about child support, they will have to be concerned about paying long-term spousal support, division of retirement funds, and property distribution. Such matters can turn ugly if they are not dealt with in a calm and professional way, and that is why involving a professional divorce mediator is a good idea.  Why spend the money that has been saved for a lifetime on court litigation when that money will be needed soon enough with the retirement years coming up in only a few years?

A Divorce Mediator Will Take Care of All the Legal Hassles

When people over the age of 50 file for divorce, the divorce mediator has to sort out through issues such as estate planning, taxes, health insurance, spousal support, division of liabilities and assets, and retirement benefits. If both or one of the partners is retired, the California divorce mediators have to deal with situations like deciding on who gives money to whom and how the assets will be divided amongst each other. Assuming that the couple has accumulated many assets over the years, dividing them can be complicated and difficult, and you need a divorce mediator to handle all the legal matters.

A Divorce Mediator Will Help You Reach a Peaceful Resolution

Whether you are in your 20s, 50s, or anywhere in between, no one wants to go through a messy divorce. Still, a lot of people are not able to handle their divorce in a mature way, mostly because they are dealing with strong emotions such as anger, depression, and heartbreak. Hiring the services of a California divorce mediation firm means that they are opting for a more peaceful dissolution of their marriage. The mediator creates a safe environment where they can communicate with each other and find out what each party wants.

Elder couples going through a divorce should seek the assistance of a California divorce mediation firm to help them reach an agreement that will not emotionally deprive them or their children. Divorce at any age is stressful and unpleasant, but going to a divorce mediator to sort out the financials can lessen the pain between two parties.

If you are located in Orange County or anywhere else in California, and are planning to get divorced, you should seek the assistance of a reliable divorce mediator. For further information or to schedule a consultation with California Divorce Mediators, please call (949) 553-0911 or visit www.cadivorcemediators.com.  California Divorce Mediators is an experienced Divorce Mediation and Family Law firm serving the Orange County and Riverside areas and neighboring counties, serving individuals, couples and families with legal issues including divorce, legal separation, spousal support, child support and child custody issues.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”