Ever since the rise of the process of divorce mediation and its subsequent popularity among couples wanting to end their marriage, a few myths surrounding the phenomenon have also come into being. The leading myth that is attached to divorce mediation is regarding certain types of couples not being able to get the best out of divorce mediation in a way that other couples can. This, however, is nothing but a myth and has no real substance in reality. All kinds of couples can try divorce mediation and be able to get a cooperative, coordinated, and communicated divorce for themselves.
Here is a list of a four of the leading candidates that have been said to be at a disadvantage in regards to divorce mediation and their myths debunked.
People That Have Assets
There is a common myth that people that have assets should avoid Orange County divorce mediation, since the mediation process is unlikely to work efficiently in cases where assets are involved. In reality though, the facts are quite the contrary.
In reality for couples that have significant amount of assets, divorce mediation is likely to be a better option than litigation. Litigation proceedings are long, time-consuming and costly, which will need the spouses to utilize their assets to finance the case. In divorce mediation, however, both the spouses will be able to save tens of thousands of dollars in terms of litigation costs and still be able to amicably agree on the division of assets without an ill feeling involved.
People with Children
Living with divorce parents is unlikely to be an easy experience for the child, yet what is more damaging for such a child is having to see his/her parents fight it out in court and for the divorce to become a long drawn out process. While the myth is that divorce mediation is not effective when children are involved, the reality once again is different. .
Mediation is the best way for parents to end their marriage if children are involved, since mediation allows for amicable, hassle free resolution of issues and disputes.
People that have hired a Lawyer
It is believed that people who have already filed paperwork for divorce in courts and hired an attorney cannot try their hands at divorce mediation. This, however, is not true.
Divorce mediation can be used at any stage by the spouses as long as they are willing to contribute to the resolution of the dispute. The fact that you have hired a lawyer will affect the mediation in no way. If you want, you may ask your lawyer to represent you in the mediation or even keep him/her by your side for help.
People who want to do it themselves
Increasingly, people are trying to save on costs and want to do things on their own. While there have been rumors that mediation is not for people who want to do it themselves, such rumors are baseless.
Divorce mediation is a process that allows the people to be able to represent themselves and even decide the solution among them.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
A large number of couples have looked towards ending their marriage, and get a divorce to begin a new life filled with new experiences. Divorce is one of the hardest emotional experiences for a couple to go through, because it marks the end of a relation that was meant to have lasted forever. This emotional trauma of a divorce is likely to increase more if the reason for the divorce is infidelity. Infidelity is a concept that is looked down upon in most societies. It involves a spouse cheating on his/her spouse by having relations behind their back with someone else.
When a spouse finds out about such activities of the other spouse, the first thing that hits the spouse are the feelings of betrayal, hurt, devastation, and shock. In such cases, where one of the spouses has broken the trust of the other spouse to pieces, it is important that you clear the air with your spouse all the while still getting divorced from him/her.
If reconciliation is not an option for you, the best way for a spouse to end the relationship after infidelity is to participate in Orange County divorce mediation. Divorce mediation is one of the fastest-growing divorce methods. The increase in the number of people looking to solve their issues and absolve their marriage using this process is due to the cooperative and communicative approach used in this method.
It is true that having been cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world, and the magnitude of the hurt and the anguish cannot be measured by anyone but the person that feels it. That being said, for you to be able to heal yourself of this blow, and to be able to get out of this trauma, you need to have communication with your spouse. Especially if your marriage involved kids, the level of cooperation needs to stay up at all times between you and your spouse and the best way to ensure that is by ensuring that the communication continues and your issues of hurt are resolved.
Tips To Get Over Being Cheated On
Try and get as much rest as possible in this time, don’t try to over work yourself to run from the feeling, since it is likely to continue to stay with you for a long time.
Make sure alcohol, etc. are avoided. You need to have as clear a mind as possible.
Think about your feelings and write them down. Writing down your feelings will allow you to express them better to your spouse during your divorce mediation sessions.
Take some individual time with the mediator (if your spouse is okay with that) or with an independent attorney to try and make sure you are clear on all aspects and are able to seek their advice with respect to your situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
The rate of divorces has continued to go up in the last few decades with couples increasingly looking to end their relations due to issues such as lack of compatibility, understanding, and infidelity. The rate of increase in Orange County divorces has meant that people have now started to look for alternative ways to make sure they are able to end their relationship without having to go to court for settlement. One of the best alternatives in this regard is the use of Orange County divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation is a method of obtaining divorce that is considerably different from the usual method of mediation, since the core of this method is consultation, consensus, and compromise. The use of the three C’s has made divorce mediation one of the most peaceful and easy going way of settling marital disputes and allowing for divorce settlements to be drawn up without rubbing either of the party the wrong way.
Having said that —while divorce mediation is one of the preferable ways for the general public to end their marital relations—, there are a few types of divorce cases that are best left away from mediation. Here is a list of a few of situations where divorce mediation is unlikely to be the best option.
· Cases Where Physical/Emotional/Child Abuse Is Involved
The concept of mediation cases is to create an environment of harmony between the soon-to-be-ex spouses, so that they are able to sit down and talk their differences out amicably without having to drag the courts into the personal matters of a couple. In domestic abuse cases however, more often than not, it is better for a couple to not use divorce mediation and instead rely on court proceedings. The primary reason for this is that cases that involve any kind of abuse are likely to involve protection orders for the abused spouse or child and full investigation into the claims, these tasks are best left to the courts.
· If one of the Spouses is bent on delaying the proceedings and not ready to cooperate
More often than not there are tons of cases where one of the spouses is ready for the divorce process while the other is hell bent on trying to stop the other spouse from doing so for a variety of reasons. In cases such as these, it is best for the couples to try and use the courts instead of divorce mediation services. The reason for this is that mediation services are run on the basis of cooperation and commitment, if either of the spouses is disinterested and lacks the necessary will to find a solution; it is likely to be extremely hard for the mediator to try and continue and keep the mediation going in the right direction. The courts however can make sure with the use of their orders that both of these parties are honest and interested in the matters at hand.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
When a person decides to opt for divorce, they stand at a cross road of which method to choose to end their relationship. Ending a relationship is hard, which makes this one of the most important decisions that either of the spouse can take in their lifetime. Divorce mediation and litigation are two very different methods. When one thinks of divorce litigation, the focus usually goes to judges, lawyers, courts, and court fees. This is what litigation is all about, yet with mediation, things are very much different. A large number of people aren’t aware of the process of mediation and hence tend to believe in the myths going around.
Here are the 5 leading myths about divorce mediation:
· Mediation won’t work for us, since it requires couples of amicable terms, and me and my spouse quarrel daily
This is definitely a rumor and is far from reality. Orange County divorce mediators are trained to perform in volatile situations and develop an atmosphere of calmness around. Divorce mediation is all about having the couples talk it out; there is no such requirement of the couples being on amicable terms. More often than not, divorces are bitter; if amicability was a requirement, none of those divorces would have been successfully and peacefully transitioned to divorce through mediation.
· I can’t have an attorney if I decide to mediate
Different spouses approach divorce mediation differently. Some like to come alone into the mediation process, while others want their attorney to participate with them. Divorce mediation is made to help the couples have flexible out of court settlements between themselves. This however by no means disallows the use of attorneys. In many cases, spouses do use their attorneys for the mediation discussions.
· Mediation requires a large upfront payment
This is one of the leading misconceptions that have been doing the rounds regarding divorce mediation. Divorce mediation, just like other forms of mediation, is a process that is affordable. Typically, the mediators are likely to charge you an hourly basis pay with flexibility of timing allowed at your discretion. This allows the spouses to increase or decrease mediation time according to their budget.
· Children get hurt irrespective of the method of divorce
This is not true. Litigation is a process that encourages competition and pits one spouse against the other, thus enhancing the sense of bitterness between the spouses. This when viewed by the child is likely to affect him/her adversely, while in mediation the circumstances change considerably. Divorce mediation is all about communication and compromises allowing for more cordial spouse relations and hence more peaceful affects on the child.
· Mediation takes as long as litigation
Quite the contrary to this myth, using mediation allows the spouses to save time. Divorce mediations are purely between the spouses, which means that the amount of time is likely to be less than court cases which have lots of legal procedures, etc. The fact that the parties talk directly to each other allows them fast pace the resolution speed.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce rates have been on the up over the past decade or so and the reason for this range from petty to major life changing events. What is more important than looking at the reasons of divorce is to take a look at emotional torment that divorcees have started to cause. Divorce is the end of relationship for the couples; a relationship that they had pledged to stay true to for the rest of their lives. When such commitments are broken, there is sure to be a bad taste and a sting of emotions felt that may range from guilt to anguish to anger.
Make a Smart Choice About How to Divorce
It is because of the severe pain and feelings of torment that increasingly couples have started to choose divorce mediation over litigation. Unlike litigation, mediation is a process that allows the couples to sort the issues out themselves while also having divorce mediators to try and make sure the discussion stays on the right track. The choice of the process of divorce is a particularly important one, since it can decide how you are going to be affected at the end of it, both emotionally and financially.
Orange County divorce mediation, unlike litigation procedures that inculcate a feeling of competition between the spouses, encourages a feeling of coordination, mutual respect, and communication. The longer the divorce takes to come to an end, the more hurt the spouses get. Mediation is one of the fastest methods of dispute resolution, coupled with its low costs and it is real winner. Another important consideration to take into account is the impartiality of the person other than the spouses involved in the procedure. Divorce mediators are neutral and committed to resolving the issues that is in favor of, and acceptable to both the parties involved.
Communication is the Key to Effective Decision-Making
Effective communication is the key to solving a variety of issues. Couples that are involved in divorce mediations need to be at their best in terms of communication capabilities with the other spouse if they are to maximize the potential of mediation. Communication is one of the most important elements in divorce mediation. The couples need to have as much conversation directly with each other as possible and also have the courtesy to listen to the point view of the other spouse.
Orange County mediation warrants the spouses to have detailed communication between them to be able to understand each others’ problems, constraints and factors that govern their decision making. Only then the spouses can have effective communication between them and will they be able to solve the issues and reach an effective conclusion that is acceptable to both.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
When couples decide to separate, the decision does not always come easy to them. Orange County divorce proceedings in the court are more often than not loaded with anger, anguish, and emotions of hurt and betrayal. When it comes to divorce, there are several matters in which the couples compete against each other. These include property, cash, and other valuables, yet the most important of all these is child custody.
The most important asset for a parent during and after their Orange County divorce proceedings are their children. The importance of a child in terms of divorce can be seen by the fact that child custody cases are one of the most hotly contested cases in then family law courts of California.
Having said that though, there is another way to make sure parents are able to amicably decide on the child custody and other matters related to the child’s welfare without having to have bitter, long feuds in the court of laws. The divorce mediation dispute resolution method in Orange County allows the spouses to communicate and sort out the issues concerning the child. This is done to make sure the child is able to stay unaffected by the parental animosities and disputes.
Here are a few reasons that highlight benefits of using Orange County divorce mediation’s parenting plan:
When it comes to the process of divorce mediation, the parents are allowed ample time to discuss their differences and reach a conclusion. This helps the parents formulate child-focused and thoughtful parenting plans for the benefits of the child.
Mediation allows not only the effective formulation of the parenting plan, but through in-depth discussion, it allows for both parties to analyze the plan and iron out its kinks before its implementation.
Generally, the process of mediation and formulation of parenting plan allows better communication between the parents lessening the animosity between the spouses.
Parenting plans are not only important practically, they also have significant moral impact. The formulation of a parenting plan, and the willingness to participate in the Orange County mediation highlights the resolve of the parents to keep the child first.
Orange County mediation allows the parents to decide on the way to deal with the future of the child in a comprehensive conclusion avoiding future conflicts.
Parenting plans formulated as part of the mediation agreement reached between the parents are legally enforceable and provide little opportunity for either spouse to rescind.
Perhaps one of the most important reasons to use Orange County divorce mediation and the parenting plan is its ability to allow improvement. Usually, the parenting plans formulated in divorce mediation allow the parents to consult third party experts to help them through the process of parenting.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
There are many reasons that make mediated divorce better than litigated divorce. One of the leading reasons is the fact that more often than not, divorce mediation has a number of ground rules set up between the spouses to help steer the process in the correct direction. These ground rules help the couples focus on the long term solutions instead of short term victories throughout the process. There can be a lot of ground rules, which may include having less amount of direct accusations, no use of foul language or derogatory remarks or maintaining the best interest of the child.
The Best Interest of the Child
This is one of the most commonly used phrases in the divorce world, especially in family law and child custody cases. Yet, do you know what this phrase really means? When you look at the legal side of things, this is a rather complex area of law, since it includes entitlements, parental rights, child visitation, custodial parent residency, etc. The family courts in California use the principle of child’s best interest in deciding a variety of cases and mediators also keep it at the top of their agenda in divorce mediations.
Yet before we talk about it more, let’s take a brief look at the standard of this best interest rule that needs to be considered before any decision is taken:
The type of contact that exists between the parents
Any history of child abuse either emotional, physical or mental
The levels of child safety, welfare and health
Any history of drug, alcohol or substance abuse by either parent
Criminal record of the parents
Mediated Divorce
While these legal definitions do form the basis of the concept, but it is important to realize that Orange County divorce mediators and spouses are not bounded by these legal definitions. For parents who take part in divorce mediations, the parents can look at the existing child-parent relation through the best interest canvas, but it is by no means mandatory.
In divorce and custody mediation, the standard of the child’s best interest is not only depends upon the legal considerations, it also includes ethical and moral considerations. More often than not, each child is different from the other; hence, divorce mediations allow the parents to mutually determine what’s best for the child considering his/her individual case.
According to recent studies on children, the child best flourishes in environments where their surroundings are peaceful and full of harmony. The key to harvesting the child’s best growth in addition to looking for his/her best interest is to have effective and frequent communications with them as well as keeping them away from the spousal bitterness of a divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce mediation is one the best methods to obtain a divorce. The method in which it is carried out is calm and casual. Fights, spats, and raised voices aren’t part of the process, as it minimizes the arguments by involving the partners in coming up with sound solutions to help maintain peace and understanding between the two. People that are thinking of filing for divorce should consider choosing divorce mediation for the following five reasons:
1. You Are In-Charge
The divorce mediator doesn’t interfere in the decision making process, but is more like the third person that works with you, helping you and your partner come up with a solution to satisfy both of your needs. Throughout divorce mediation, the reins are in your hands and you get to decide what happens from here and the factors that will affect it.
2. You Will Save Money
Going to court to get a divorce will burn up your savings fast. This isn’t a good idea, especially for those couples that have children. Even if you are childless, don’t you want to save money to celebrate your freedom of being single again? The only way to do that is if you go to a divorce mediator, as they are more affordable.
3. Plan Your Future
Divorce mediation will help both of you come up with a plan for the future. Instead of focusing all your energy on bashing your significant other, focus on what lies ahead and where you will go from here. Going to court will not get you that.
If you go to court, you would be missing all the important things to consider when getting divorced, as both would be too occupied at finding faults with one and other. At mediation, you can come up with creating financial and tax planning solutions to benefit the both of you.
4. Protect Your Children
No one loves your kids more than you do. That’s why you can’t leave the decision up to the judge to decide who gets the kids. Both of you should come up with a plan that will be in the best interests of your kids. For instance, if a partner gets to keep the house, the other partner shouldn’t force them to give it up, as giving it up would mean losing the roof over your children’s head.
5. You Can Get Out of the Mediation Process
The minute you begin to question the divorce mediator’s ability to help you come up with an effective agreement, get out of there and move on to the next one. You don’t want to stick around if you feel they won’t be able to help you settle your differences in an effective manner.
Divorce mediation in Orange County and elsewhere with the help of a mediator helps partners draw up an agreement containing their own terms and condition. In doing so, the agreement holds more value and shows maturity.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce mediation is not a mystery as people make it out to be nor is it as complicated as people deem it to be. Divorce mediation is one of the most simplistic forms of getting a divorce. Since it’s on your terms and conditions, it makes it one of the most effective as well. So, to answer your question, is there a set standard in divorce mediation? Due to the nature of the sessions and the method of drawing up the divorce settlement agreement, there is no set standard in divorce mediation.
What Transpires during Divorce Mediation?
In divorce mediation, the role of a divorce mediator is to listen to the clients talk about the issues regarding their assets, property, and children, if they have any. The divorce mediator during this takes calculated notes of everything said in the meeting to keep a record to reference later on. In the first meeting, each partner is asked to bring financial documents with him or her to give to the mediator to look over. The mediator doesn’t interfere, but guides them to make a fair decision regarding the division of assets by telling them laws to aid the decision-making process.
Brief Introduction to the Divorce Mediation Process
The first meeting is the longest because the divorce mediator reviews the financial documents provided by each party to see if the information provided is accurate. The mediator then takes the time to discuss the financial documents in detail. If one partner thinks that their ex is hiding something, they can voice their concern in the first meeting. That’s why it’s recommended that clients come prepared, especially if they suspect their ex to hide something. After the finances are out in the open, the partners get the floor.
Each partner tells the other of what he or she thinks is fair and not fair. After hearing each person’s viewpoint, the mediator provides them with legal information about their options regarding the division of assets and property. The information provided by the mediator can be general or complex depending on the type of assets being disputed. Lastly, the partner’s wish list of what they should get out of the divorce is discussed thoroughly.
What Each Person is Interested in Getting
This in one of the most crucial points of the divorce, as it decides who gets what after the divorce is finalized. If the partners want the same thing such as the house, it could create animosity between the two. However, in divorce mediation, they don’t fight for the property, but come to a conclusion to benefit both of them. For instance, they may try to sell the house and split the profit two ways. The best part is that both of them get to decide what each wants, and then make a decision together, without the intrusion of a third party to influence them or make a ruling on who gets what.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce is a time where the two parties are scrambling to mark the assets that they want. They will fight tooth and nail to obtain it. Their mission becomes saving themselves from financial hell. They don’t have to fight with each other to get the assets they want. They can save themselves from financial failure if they do the following things before the divorce proceedings through divorce mediation or litigation begins:
Negotiate an Equitable Settlement
Most of people think that equitable means 50/50? However, does it always mean that? In some cases, it means the total opposite, as the other person may get away with getting more than you. This means you have to secure your chances of getting a fair division of assets in return after the divorce to secure your financial future currently and down the line.
In order to play it safe, you need to talk to a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst to talk to you through the process, advising you on what he or she deems as a fair ruling between two divorcing partners. With that information in hand, present your needs to your partner during your divorce mediation session.
Save Money
You don’t want to overspend on things, but save money instead. You can consult a financial advisor to assist you in establishing a doable budget for the month.
Think About Whether You Can Really Keep Your Home
If your partner is willing to give you the home, you should talk with a financial advisor so he or she can tell you if you can realistically afford it or not.
You Won’t Get Everything Your Desire
Do you plan to fight with your soon-to-be ex-partner down to every last penny? If you do, you will be spending a lot of time in court fighting over things like who gets the furniture or the dishes. These types of things are not worth it. If you really want to argue over these things, do it during divorce mediation, as it’s a better choice to vent your concerns in a more casual environment.
You Should Protect Your Retirement Assets
A Qualified Domestic Relations Order should be stated as a requirement in your divorce judgment to divide retirement assets properly, and should be filed immediately after you complete your divorce.
Don’t Use Your Debt Card too Much
You and your spouse need to eventually close all the accounts that you and your partner opened up together. Most importantly, don’t forget to get a copy of your credit card statement.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Ever since the rise of the process of divorce mediation and its subsequent popularity among couples wanting to end their marriage, a few myths surrounding the phenomenon have also come into being. The leading myth that is attached to divorce mediation is regarding certain types of couples not being able to get the best out of divorce mediation in a way that other couples can. This, however, is nothing but a myth and has no real substance in reality. All kinds of couples can try divorce mediation and be able to get a cooperative, coordinated, and communicated divorce for themselves.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
