Divorce Mediators Are The Neutral Facilitators Of Settlements

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce Mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsMediation in general and divorce mediation in particular are not one way procedures that have their techniques defined and laid out in particular patterns. The style of mediation and the direction that your divorce mediation will take depends largely on the course of action that is adopted by the particular mediator.

There are many types that can be adopted, a facilitative approach, a transformational approach, and an evaluative approach. The core of mediation is not rigid; there is vast variety on how mediators use these techniques to make divorce easier for their clients. It is largely down to these distinctions that mediation can be laid down as an art more than a science.

The Importance of The Mediator

In areas of divorce mediation, the importance of the mediator is obvious, who helps guide the process with his or her knowledge of the law, personality traits, and ability to communicate. A mediator can interject their legal opinion, but should not automatically do so unless requested by the parties.  A mediator is not a judge so they should not proceed as one.  Rather, they are there to help the parties bridge the differences in their positions without imposing their own “decision.”

Primary Role is to Inform and Not Advise

Divorce mediators are not allowed to give legal advice per se because of their role as neutral facilitators and not advocates for either party.  However, they can inform the parties about the legal aspects.  To inform is to objectively identify some elements of law that have not been or need to be fulfilled in order to make the divorce mediation as success.

During divorce mediation, couples will discuss a range of issues.  During such discussions, a mediator’s job is not to interfere or control the discussion unless there is an impasse.  They will only look to make sure that the discussion goes on smoothly and heads in the right direction, i.e. resolution.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Divorce Selfies Encourage Positive Outlook on Breakups

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsTaking “divorce selfies” is becoming increasingly popular among divorcing couples. The trend signals a shift to more amicable splits for the sake of the children involved and encourages a healthy approach to what can be a stressful, emotional process.

Canadian couple Shannon and Chris Neuman filed for divorce at a Calgary, Alberta, courthouse on 8/27/2015. They took a selfie together afterwards and posted it on social media to commemorate the end to their 11-year marriage. The photo has been shared more than 36,000 times on Facebook since then.

Although the couple has been lauded for setting a positive example for co-parents, they have also been criticized for seemingly celebrating their divorce. In the accompanying caption, Shannon Neuman explained that she and her ex-husband were smiling in the photo because they knew they were doing “something extraordinary” for their two children. She wrote, “We have respectfully, thoughtfully and honorably ended our marriage in a way that will allow us to go forward as parenting partners for our children … so they will never have to choose.”

Now that the photo has gone viral, Shannon Neuman hopes the couple’s co-parenting strategy inspires others. She has encouraged other divorcing spouses to focus on their love for their kids rather than negative emotions regarding their ex-partner.

By using a lighthearted way to announce what is often a heartbreaking situation, this couple is showing that divorce does not have to be ugly and acrimonious.  They have chosen to treat each other with respect and embrace the fact that they can move forward with the next chapter of their lives, putting the well-being of their kids at the forefront of every decision they make.

Moreover, the decision to co-parent is just the first step. Achieving an effective co-parenting method is not an easy process. Each parent has to consistently work together to overcome challenges and put their personal differences aside. That way, kids do not feel torn or compelled to choose a side.

For more information about this topic, see the following:

  • http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/divorcing-couples-snap-happy-selfies-announce-break-ups/story?id=33483075
  • http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-couple-just-took-one-hell-of-a-divorce-selfie_55e61b19e4b0b7a9633ab82d
  • https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/couples-viral-divorceselfie-shows-us-how-to-128117027862.html
  • https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-intersect/wp/2015/09/03/on-the-viral-rise-of-divorce-selfies-and-the-death-of-traditional-marriage/

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Celebrity Divorce Brings Tax Issues to Forefront

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsIn a recent high-profile divorce, former “Baywatch” actress Pamela Anderson received $1 million in her settlement with poker player Rick Salomon.

The ex-couple, who had announced their marriage in January 2014, released a joint statement. “Public divorces can be harsh and cruel — we apologize to our families and friends for any hurt and embarrassment we have caused — we have come to an amicable agreement and are moving on,” they said.

Celebrity splits, including this one, tend to be prolonged litigated battles in which money matters take center stage. Divorce calls for skillful navigation through financial challenges as they emerge, often coupled with complicated tax rules.

Prior to reaching the settlement, Anderson had alleged that Salomon was a California resident who was evading taxes on his poker winnings of $40 million through his residency in Nevada, which does not have state taxes. She has now agreed not to challenge his residency.

Communication is essential when addressing finances, and mediation allows this to take place. Each spouse needs to consider their future taxes when dividing property. To avoid tax disputes and audits, divorcing couples should to come to an agreement about child support, alimony or property settlement.

In divorce, getting high basis property is better than low basis properly as splitting assets with a combination of both high and low bases allows each spouse to equalize their respective tax burdens in the future.

The IRS Publication 504 states that there is no limit on the amount of money or property that can be transferred tax-free between a divorcing couple. A property settlement is not tax deductible, while spousal support is tax deductible to the payer and taxable income to the recipient.

However, the situation is different with child support as it cannot be claimed as a tax deduction by the payer. Both spouses should consider their tax obligations thoroughly, which is why divorce mediation is a good option for divorcing couples because it allows them to determine what works best for them.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

The Right Time to Bring Up Divorce Mediation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County Family Mediation - Divorce Mediation; California Divorce MediationDivorce mediation is not a process that is time barred or opens for a limited time only. As long as your divorce case hasn’t had its first formal trial, you and your spouse can opt for a mediated solution to your divorce. The important thing about mediation though is that it is voluntary and needs consent from both parties.

Divorce mediation will depend on the way your propose divorce and the timing of your proposal. This blog will talk about the best times to propose Orange County divorce mediation to your spouse. Divorce has many branches. There are many aspects to a divorce. There is a financial divorce, an emotional divorce, a parenting divorce and a social divorce. Each of these has their own specific timing which will play a part in your spouse assenting to or dissenting to your mediation proposal.

Factors that determine When to bring up Mediation

·         Emotional

Whenever one of the spouses proposes the idea of divorce, the other spouse goes into an emotional divorce phase, where their first reaction is to go into a state of denial. Once this denial dilutes and reality starts to set in a spouse may experience feelings of anguish, angst, anger and sadness. This will not be the best time to propose mediation. Only once they come to terms with the idea, in a state of acceptance, should you propose mediation.

·         Financial

When there couples are going through a relatively tight financial spot and are looking to make important financial decisions. This is the best time to suggest Orange County divorce mediation for resolution of major issues. When both of the spouses are not comfortable with their finances, the low cost of mediation will generally pull your spouse towards itself.

·         Legal

As far as the legal aspect of divorce is concerned, you need to make sure the suggestion for divorce is made before the petition has been filled. You can use the reasoning of legal costs, maneuvering and lawyer expenses as reasons they should opt out of litigation and go for Orange County Mediation. Telling them how mediation will give them the authority to decide the issues for themselves instead of having to rely on a judge could help sway their decision.

·         Social

Does your spouse have meddling friends that seem to have an opinion on everything? Social acceptance of divorce is the last stage of divorce before the actual divorce happens. Friends and family are often under the influence that litigation and opposed to mediation is a chance to get a larger portion of the assets. Before such friends harden the viewpoint of your spouse against Orange County divorce mediation, you need to speak to your spouse about it.

 

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Divorce Mediation for the Modern Family

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsAs time goes on, it seems that change is the only constant, and every aspect of life is undergoing a more modern transformation. The rapid speed at which these changes are happening has rendered several segments of the society unable to cope. Therefore, such segments have become incompatible in many regards to these changes. This is particularly true for some aspects of family law.

The Changes to the Family in Modern Times

The scale of changes has meant that divorce laws have started to be questioned by recent developments. A few of these notable changes can be:

  • A generation or so ago, women having full time jobs was not as common as it is today. Now they are working outside of their houses, with many households having not one but two incomes.
  • A few years ago, there were only a few states in the US, one of which was California, which had legalized same sex marriages. Yet, now with the recent decision of the Supreme Court making it legal throughout the US, the family laws such as those of divorce seem incompatible.

Incompatibility of the Law

These changes mean that the scope of the modern family has changed drastically. The California divorce and family laws for example are not meant to handle the complex issues that are arising as a result of these changes.

How do you determine the custody of the child between two same sex parents only one of whom is biologically related to the child? While the child may view both of them as parents, legally only one of them is the real parent owing to biological relations.

In addition, in homes where there are two sources of income one from each spouse, property division can be a serious issue, because neither party would want to settle for a smaller share or a share they don’t feel is proportionate to their contributions.

Mediating the Solution

Instead of using the courts to solve disputes, if we turn to Orange County divorce mediation, the needs of the modern family can be catered to, with decisions made based around common sense, mutual wisdom, and the needs of the family.

If both of the spouses can talk it out and make sure they understand each other’s point of views, Orange County divorce mediation gives them the chance to make a legally binding decision as they see fit, irrespective of its compatibility with the law. This, however, will only be applicable as long as both the spouses are mutually agreeing on the provisions of the agreement.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Protecting your Assets in Divorce without a Prenuptial Agreement

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Premarital agreement orange county; California Divorce MediatorsMost California and Orange county divorce cases have assets at the core of the fight between the two spouses. The importance of assets to each of the spouse is paramount since the word assets is used to describe all kinds of properties, personal, commercial, and even business stakes. The reason both spouses are willing to give their all in divorce cases is because they are looking to have the largest amount of assets for themselves.

Increasingly, spouses have started to get into pre-nuptial (premarital) agreements to make sure that their assets are protected from that dreaded day in divorce court. Some spouses however cannot agree on pre-marital agreements to have their assets protected. Here is a list of a few other options that such spouses can use to make sure their assets are protected despite not getting into a pre marital agreement.

Make Sure You Keep Your Funds Separate

This step is fairly simple and will allow you to escape lots of complexities in your divorce case moving ahead. If you have separate funds that belong exclusively to you, and were in your possession before you got married, make sure you keep the money that you had prior to your marriage in an individual account. This will allow it to be easily distinguished from the joint assets.

Separate Your Separate Property

One of the most important things in the assets category tends to be property. Property is often the most valuable of all assets and therefore will be fought over with the most commitment by the spouses. The best way to make sure that you protect the property that you have had in your possession even before the marriage is to keep it separate from your joint property with your spouse. This is trickier than handling separate funds.

If you have separate property that belonged to you even before you got married, the best way to keep it away from your divorce proceedings is to manage all its expenses from money from your pre marriage wealth exclusively. Any use of mutual funds to pay off the properties recurring expenses could drag what should have been your exclusive property into your Orange County divorce proceedings.

Making A Trust To Protect Assets

One of the easiest ways you and your spouses can protect their assets is by creating a trust before marriage. A trust will mean that there is a clear determination by the spouses to keep some parts of the property separate. When a trust ownership is involved in assets cases of divorces, judges will be more willing to accept that the spouses intended to keep certain aspects of the assets separate from the division.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Ending Same Sex Marriages And Domestic Partnerships in California

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

same sex divorce; California Divorce MediatorsPrior to June 27, 2015, there were only several states in the U.S. that allowed for same sex couples to get married. Now, the United States Supreme Court has ruled that same sex marriages are legal and recognized in all of the states, meaning that same sex couples now have equal rights to get married as all other Americans.  This is a huge development and advancement of rights for same sex couples and one that will likely lead to a wave of same sex couples entering into marriage over the next few years.

So what does that mean for existing domestic partnerships and for same sex married couples that seek to get divorced in the future in California?  Because although same sex couples will appreciate their right to get married and will value the institution of marriage perhaps more than heterosexual couples who have always taken their right to get married for granted, same sex couples have the same relationship issues and problems that everyone else has that can lead to the deterioration and end of relationships.  Inevitably, some same sex married couples will seek divorce, although no one knows what such rate of divorce will be for that segment of the population.

Also, those same sex couples that are part of a registered domestic partnership in California will now have the option of getting married and the length of their domestic partnership will be added to the length of the marriage for purposes of spousal support and division of assets, although the case law in California has not caught up to this situation quite yet, but undoubtedly will.

Furthermore, domestic partners and married same sex couples will now be under the jurisdiction of the California Family Code and case law just like heterosexual married couples are, which will apply to them when they seek to terminate their partnership or marriage.  In other words, if parties look to end their registered domestic partnership or same sex marriage, they are in for much the same process as traditional divorce cases and involve most of the same issues, especially if same sex couples decide to legally adopt a child, as follows:

  • Child custody
  • Child visitation
  • Spousal support
  • Division of assets and property

It is a new world for same sex couples as they embrace their new rights and the final wall of inequality has been broken down.  It will also lead to a new world for divorce and family in California and the other states.  But in the end, it is important to recognize that we are all the same and we all have our faults and problems, which can ultimately lead to divorce.  Same sex couples will not be immune to marital problems or to divorce any more than heterosexual couples, because a successful marriage is hard work for everyone.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Making Your Divorce Mediation Checklist

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsThere are several factors that play a part to determine the failure or success of Orange County divorce mediation. The levels of trust between the couple, the willingness to negotiate, the case’s complexity, and the level of contention are just a few of these. There are two parts to divorce mediation – one can be described as the work of the Orange County divorce mediator while the other is the work of the two spouses. One of the most important thing spouses need to do, to make their mediation successful, is to come to mediation prepared and having thought about important aspects.

It is advisable to make a divorce mediation checklist prior to the start of mediation so that you have your goals and the list of issues that you want to address in mediation, listed in order of importance to you.  Here are some of the issues that you will likely address as part of your checklist.

·         The Children in the Marriage

Children are often considered the most important issue in a divorce mediation. Before a couple decides to part ways, the children in the family are likely to have spent their time under co-parenting by both the parents. This however cannot be the case after divorce. Spouses need to, before they come to an Orange County divorce mediation, deliberate on the amount of time they can give their child, the timings that will be feasible for them and their own activity time table. These are important matters to consider, since during a divorce, the most affected people after the spouses are their children. All through the process, make sure you are there for them to support and calm their fears.

·         Debts

This is never a topic that couples love talking about. Yet, it is one of the most important assets (or liability) that needs to be divided between the spouses much like the rest of the assets. Before coming to mediation, it is best for you to have a private one on one conversation with your spouse to avoid any surprises that might await him/her in the mediation process.

·         Real Estate

We have talked about children being the most important assets, but real estate is one asset that comes a very close second. These are often the largest chunk of the monetary materials and hence are the most hotly contested aspect of a divorce. Any property that has been created in between the time the marriage lasted can be regarded as joint property. This aspect is likely to involve all kinds of homes, lands, etc., including the one you currently live in making this one of the most important aspects to think about pre mediation.

·         Business

People who own business are likely to derive their source of income from them. Business, if jointly run or made/ significantly enhanced during the marriage, would have to be divided between the two parties. This might not work out too well for a business’ profitability and hence you need to talk about this aspect with your spouse before your mediation date to make sure your financial interests are protected.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Another Five California Divorce Mediation Myths

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Divorce mediation attorneys Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsThis blog is a continuation from the previous blog titled Five California Divorce Mediation Myths. Here is a list of five other mediation myths that mislead people with respect to mediation.

Myth 6: I Have To Always Be In The Same Room As My Spouse

This is another one of the common misconceptions and myths that people continue to have with respect to mediation. The mediation process works best when both of the spouses are talking to each other face to face in the presence of an Orange County divorce mediator. This sometimes however cannot be the case because of a prevalent sense of bitterness between the spouses. In cases such as this, mediation allows for the spouses to talk to the mediators separately and for the mediator to act as the communicator between them.

Myth 7: A Mediator Will Force Me Into Saving My Marriage

This misconception is rooted in the concept of mistaken identity. Most people think of Orange County divorce mediators and the mediation process as therapists and therapy sessions. While the job of therapists is to help ease the issues between the spouses and motivate them to continue their marriage, this is not the case with mediators. Mediators are tasked with channeling the post divorce agreements between the parties and to assist them when needed.

Myth 8: No Expert Consultations Are Allowed In Mediation

Mediation is a process that has been primarily developed to help the parties and facilitate their divorce process, free from the problems that litigation courts pose. This is why the above myth is nothing but wrong. Orange County divorce mediation has no such ban on the use of experts such as accountants, realtors, and tax consultants etc. Mediation is a process that gives the power in the hands of the spouses, and therefore they are able to do as they seem fit in the process.

Myth 9: The Mediator Will Give Me Legal Advice, Not A Lawyer

There is a difference between legal advice and legal information, and an Orange County divorce mediator is likely to provide you with the latter. Legal advice are actually concerned with increasing the spouses’ information with respect to legal matters. The role of the mediator, however, is not meant to replace the advice of a lawyer.  Divorce mediators often allows their spouses to get their mediations agreements checked by family lawyers.

Myth 10: A Spouse That Is Intimidated Will Be Not Get The Mediation Process To Work

Divorce mediation is perceived to be a process that has little or no power of enforceability in its own. This, however, is far from the truth. Mediation is an empowering process that not only holds power it to be enforced in courts; it is also a process that allows the spouses to be empowered, which allows spouses that are scared or intimidated of their spouses to exercise their own free will.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”

Why Peaceful Divorce Mediation Works Well

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation attorneys Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsDivorce is one of the hardest fought cases between the people, since it involves not only assets and children, but it also involves lots of emotions each of which can take a toll on  spouses. The process of divorce can be divided into two broad categories legally, i.e. divorce through mediation and divorce through litigation. On the more practical side of things, this can also be divided as peaceful divorce mediation and bitter divorce litigation proceedings.

Orange County divorce mediation is becoming a more common methods for couple to get divorced. The primary reason for this is the emotional and procedural benefits that such a method gives to spouses. Peace is one word that is important when associated with a process as emotionally sapping and bitter as divorce.

Here are a few reasons why peaceful Orange County divorce mediation is what you want to consider.

·         Peace will nurture the parental relationships

One of the things that hurt a child most is seeing their parents fight it out against each other. In the process of divorce litigation, this is one of the norms. More often than not, spouses will be logger heads against each other, will bad mouthed one another in the process, among other things. This will not harness but destroy their relationship with their children. The bitterness created from such ruckuses is hard to get away from. In the case of Orange County divorce mediation, however, the tables are likely to be turned. The fact that the process is based on cooperation means that even when getting divorce the parents will have a sense of cordiality and cooperation between them.

·         You can get what you want without fuss

Divorce mediation is all about the cooperation, communication and coordination that go on between the spouses. The role of the mediators is simply one to try and facilitate the proceedings and not dictate them. As opposed to bitter litigations, a mediator will not give you any order that both the spouses have to follow. The mediation agreement is all about spouses and how much they are willing to work towards a peaceful resolution. The cooperative nature of the divorce means that mediation will allow you to agree upon what is best for you and what you want.

·         Peace also comes with a variety

No one size fits everyone. This is one of the most famous statements that have come to define the world.  Everyone in the world is different and the fact of them being different means that they are all in need of something that is made specifically for them instead of being treated generally. While litigation has set court procedures that cannot be truly modified, it is mediation that allows such spouses the chance to make the most of the flexibility of options.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”