Being a good parent to your child does not have anything to do with your marriage being intact. This statement is important to remember for parents who tend to get depressed at the prospect of single parenting after and during an Orange County divorce. Children who live with single parents lead a different life, and the parent who has custody needs to be on top of things at all times. You have to realize that the responsibilities you shared with your partner in raising your children are now yours to bear.
We know that whether the household of the single parent is under a father or a mother, parenting through a divorce, and after it, can be a huge task to fulfill. Here are some tips on how to make sure you maintain your quality of parenting.
· In Your House Only You Rule
The most important part about parenting is being able to set boundaries. The faster you set boundaries and the clearer they are, the easier parenting will become for you. One of the biggest mistakes that single parents can do is to give their children the status that is equal to peers, thereby undermining their own authority over them. While this may, in the short term, make for a pleasant time. This is likely to catch up with you over the long term, and lack of discipline and control over the child is the most obvious drawback of this strategy. To make sure you stay an effective parent, keep that control and authority over your child intact.
· Believe In Yourself And The Task At Hand
The only way you can make sure you are a good single parent for your child during the divorce proceedings is to know that you are capable of being one. Belief is vital to achieve anything, especially an uphill task such as this one. To have the best shot at being a successful parent, you should be highly motivated. The only thing worst for your child to see his parents breakup is to see the parent in charge of him doubting his own ability. Believe in yourself, keep a positive approach, and stay positive throughout the parenting process.
· Deal With The Increased Stress And Know Your Limitations
It is common for single parents to start to feel consumed and choked by the large volume of responsibilities arriving suddenly after a divorce. At this point, it is important that you keep your calm and channel your energy first of all to try and prioritize the task, and then to effectively tackle them one by one. At the end of the day, you should always remember that you are only one person and can only do so much. You’ll need to talk to your children and work with them as a team. Don’t worry, it’s all worth it.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Marital settlement agreement is a contract signed by both parties, agreeing on the terms and conditions decided by them during the divorce mediation process. The contract is then made part of the dissolution of marriage order and has the same impact as a judge would have if he or she had decided on who gets what in court.
If the contract is just, both divorcing parties will be content with what they agreed upon during the mediation sessions. However, in the case of a family court, the judge may view the agreement to make a ruling on the fairness of the agreement drawn up.
Normally, the agreement is final, which is a relief for both parties, as the conflicts were put to rest during the divorce mediation sessions. In some cases, the partners may require the assistance of a lawyer if the combined assets are high in value or if minor children are involved. If you’re not facing any such issue, you won’t need a lawyer to assist you negotiate the terms and conditions of the contract and through divorce mediation, you’ll be able to take care of all the major aspects of the divorce.
What Does a Marital Settlement Agreement Contain?
Marital settlement agreement contains important categories that will have a profound effect on your life after the divorce is finalized. The divorce mediator will go over one category at a time during the several sessions that you will have with him or her.
The discussion will be about various issues that need to be sorted out before anything is signed. Some of the issues that are discussed include the division of property, division of debts, alimony, visitation rights, child support, and child custody.
These issues during a litigation proceedings can take days to decide, but not during divorce mediation sessions. The reason for this is that both parties enter the mediation session with a cool head and on the basis of creating an understanding between the two instead of adding more fire to the fuel. Here is a list of issues discussed in the meetings:
Minor Children– Who gets the children, visitations days and time, and other issues are discussed.
Alimony– This depends on the laws of the state you filed for divorce in.
Division of Assets– Personal property such as money, stocks, bank accounts, bonds, life insurance policies, retirement accounts, furniture, clothing, cars, and other assets are discussed. Next, on the list to be discussed is real property such as the house or any stores that you own.
Debts– Both of your debts will be discussed in detail, and then will be divided amongst the both of you. However, the debt must be applicable to you and if you were responsible for it, you should take ownership for it to minimize conflict.
After all of these points are covered in detail, the partners will decide what they want to do and draft the marital settlement agreement.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
How do you know when it’s finally over between the two of you? Taking off your wedding ring is an obvious sign that you’re no longer interested in working on the marriage. So, do you bury it in your closet or sell it? Burying it in the closet will not help you move on, but selling it will give you some composure.
Your wedding ring can be included as part of the divorce proceedings. The fate of the wedding ring will be in the hands of the judge, not you. Well, that is somewhat unfair, as you should be the one to decide the fate of your property, from the house down to the wedding ring. Do you know what?
We agree with you! You should have a say, as it’s your future that’s being decided here. Divorce litigation will be unfair to both of you, and not to mention brutal, if the judge decides to award your wedding ring to your partner. If both of you come to a mutual understanding and decide to go with divorce mediation, your views and opinions will be heard.
How Divorce Mediation Works in Your Favor
Divorce mediation requires your partner and you to be upfront with each other regarding all the financial documents such as pending debts, income, retirement, assets, and property, including the wedding ring. During divorce mediation, you can raise questions regarding the validity of the financial documents presented before you that is if you suspect your partner isn’t disclosing something he or she should.
After everything is out in the open and you don’t suspect foul play, you can raise the question about the future of the wedding ring. Since your partner and you understand the sentimental value behind a small piece of jewelry, you will be better suited to make a decision regarding its fate.
Even though selling the wedding ring is the most chosen option, people have opted to keep the wedding ring to turn it into something new or pass it down to their daughter or son, if they have children. Sometimes, the partners don’t mind their ex not sharing the profit of the ring with them, if they decide to sell it. Therefore, divorce mediation tops the list of ways to obtain a divorce on your own terms and conditions, without harboring any bad blood in the end of it.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
If your child lives with you, but has to be away from you for periods of time, it can be tough. Even though your child is with your ex, you still feel as if a part of you is missing. Even if your child stays with you for a longer time, you still feel a form of separation anxiety when they are away. Did you know that you aren’t the only one feeling that way?
Your ex and your child feel exactly as you do. No one likes to be away from their kid just as no child likes to be away from their parents. Therefore, you along with your ex and child will have to learn how to manage handovers. Follow these six tips to learn to manage handovers:
1. Understand Other People’s Feelings
When you have to give up your child to your ex, you feel nervous and anxious while the receiving end feels excited. Both parties need to understand each other’s feelings in order to make a smooth transition. Don’t approach the handover with resentment, but know that the other party in a couple of weeks will feel the same way as you do now.
2. Do Not Bring the Entire Family to the Handover
The handover isn’t easy for your child, as he or she will be joining one parent and leaving behind the other. It may be an emotional time for both the parents and the child. Therefore, you need to make it between just the three of you. This means to leave the grandparents, stepchildren, stepparents, and best friends at home.
3. Comprehend Your Child’s Feelings
Your child may be the most vulnerable during a handover. Children will act differently and their behavior may change as the time nears for the handover to occur. You will need to comprehend your child’s feelings and not lash out at them if they feel the need to rebel. It’s preferred that you sit them down, both before and after the handover to talk to them about it. When your child arrives back home, give him or her time to adjust to the surroundings.
4. Do Not Fight with Your Ex
It’s given that your ex and you may not get along with each other very well and you may take his or her outburst against you as a personal attack. The unexpected outbursts or taunts may occur at the handover, which you need to learn to ignore. Remember, the person giving their child away at the handover may say something hurtful to their ex, as they are probably already hurting from inside.
5. Do Not Rush Your Child to Spend Time with You
The parents getting the child may be over the moon with excitement and may want to spend time with them immediately. However, your child may not feel the same, especially on their first day with you. So, don’t pressure your child, but give them time to adjust.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
No matter what stage of the divorce process you are in, the arrival of the new year makes it a great time to make a few changes that will put you and your divorce on the high road. Especially for those in a litigated divorce, the process can make you feel stuck and bogged down. Follow these tips to regain a sense of momentum in your life:
Take care of yourself.
Many New Year’s resolutions focus on losing weight and making more money. But if you are going through a divorce, your number one resolution should be to be to surround yourself with support, kindness and love. Make a standing weekly or monthly date with good friends and family members. The American Psychological Association suggests joining a divorce support group. Having lots of emotions is normal – decide now to start getting them out so that they don’t control you.
If you have children, see a co-parenting counselor.
This is a great resolution for parents in any stage of the divorce process. Even divorced parents who have amicably co-parented for years can benefit from a few sessions with a co-parenting counselor. This allows parents to evaluate how things have been working and to communicate about any areas for improvement.
If you are not using divorce mediation, give it a chance.
Even if you are in the middle of a long, litigated divorce, it is not too late to save money and time by exploring mediation. If you and your soon-to-be-ex are both feeling demoralized by the expense and length of an adversarial divorce, the new year could be a great time to open the discussion about taking a new, less costly and more peaceful path to finalizing the divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce mediation is regarded as the more civil and peaceful way for couples to get themselves divorced. Divorce as a process can leave a sense of bitterness in the couples – divorce mediation on the other hand rectifies this problem by encouraging the couples to solve their issues themselves through dialogue. This means that a sense of cooperation and consultation is likely to begin between the spouses which might not mend their fences altogether but it will stop them from deteriorating further.
Why It Should Work For You?
Mediation is a process that involves no judge – only an Orange County divorce mediator. And the mediator doesn’t decide the case, rather facilitates and encourages the couples to talk their differences out and agree a solution among them. This means the result of divorce mediation depends on each of the spouse. For a mediation to be successful, the mindset of the spouses going into the process matters more than any other thing.
If the spouses go into the process wanting to win, then divorce mediation is unlikely to garner positive results because there will be no sense of cooperation, the spouses will only want to maneuver each other to get the greatest monetary advantage. Yet if the spouses use the same process and go with the mentality of ending their marriage and solving the pending issues amicably, the results are likely to be very different. In such a case, each spouse will be willing to make concessions and accept the rights of the other parties, which will allow the couples to maximize the gains of the divorce mediation process.
What You Need For Orange County Divorce Mediation
Mediation processes are dependent on the discussion and agreement of a solution between the two spouses. This means that if the other party doesn’t agree to the proposed solution, there might have to be a new solution proposed that’s acceptable to that particular party. The most important thing in such a situation for you is to know what your demands are and you should come into the mediation process prepared. If after several attempts a solution isn’t reached, you’ll need the law on your side to make sure you don’t get the rough side of the bargain.
Researching beforehand is another way to achieve it. You should back your point and demand with legal arguments that should be compelling to the other spouse. Another important aspect is being aware of the financial position. Finances take up most of the time in any kind of divorce mediation and you’ll be able to garner the best results of your mediation process if you knew the financial position and thus could easily protect your rights and rightful assets.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Irvine divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
The most important thing for most people is their family. All age groups of people right from the age of infancy to the age of retirement cherish their families. Most families are known to have a certain reputation in the society.
This reputation is based on many factors that can range from the contributions of the elders to that area to the way they have social interactions and relation with people. For people that live in Orange County, the love and affection for their families is no different.
Divorce, on the other hand, is associated with words like end, breaking up, and emotional stress. Most divorces can be a torment for the person going through it. Divorces are known to be able to break even the strongest of people emotionally.
When two people who had pledged to stay together separate, this separation isn’t only limited to them but the effects of the divorce tend to reach one’s family too. When a couple comes to the conclusion of getting involved in a divorce, there are two ways available to both of them. One way of divorce is through the courts and the process of litigation while the other one is through Orange County divorce mediation.
The Effect of Litigation
In this article, we will look at both the options and how they can affect or protect the family’s reputation while the divorce process is going on and after it has finished. Divorce can be achieved by couples through litigation in courts, but the process of litigation brings the two spouses at almost warring fronts against each other.
In courts, the mentality that usually prevails in divorce cases is an “us against them” mentality, which only leads to more bitterness in the courtroom and in the future correspondence between the clients. What effect does it have on the families? Court rooms are public places and the level of mudslinging going on in courts tarnish the reputation of both the spouses and their families in front of the general public. Another reason for a litigation divorce’s negative effect on the reputation of one’s family is that even to this day a small minority of traditionalists are against the act of divorce.
The Effect of Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is another way for the couples to get separated. Unlike the process of litigation, divorce mediation is a process that works on the cooperation of the spouses with each other for the resolution of their issues.
This process is based on things such as mutual respect, and open, honest communication, which makes it a more harmonious way to get separated. What effects do divorces have on the reputation of the people involved? While there will be those who take the traditional road to litigation, the fact that the issues can be solved through divorce mediation between the parties without the need for the dispute going public means that most of the family’s reputation will remain intact.
The bottom line is that the best way to protect a family’s reputation in divorce is by separating through the divorce mediation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The process of divorce can be bitter more often than not. When the time comes for couples to end a relationship that they had willingly wanted to pursue, emotions can sometimes get the best out of them and lead to a hateful attitude between the spouses. For example, when a couple that has been married for a very long time separates, there is likely to be a strong sense of betrayal and disloyalty between them.
It is important for couples who are going through an Orange County divorce, or want to go through with it, to know that divorce isn’t only just between the two spouses. It has a far greater affect on a large number of people from both the families. Your divorce will determine the reactions of your family and friends. A bitter divorce that is full of mudslinging, accusations, and resentment will mean that the separation of the two families will become as bitter as the divorce itself.
There are two ways for a couple to end their marriage and seek a divorce. One is through the litigation process in courts and the other through California divorce mediation. In litigation there is always the sense of competitiveness and rivalry which, when coupled with the tensions in the divorce, can become an almost unbearable volcano of emotions. Divorce mediation, on the other hand, is considerably different. Divorce mediation is built on the principle of cooperation and peace among the spouses. Divorce mediators are trained to facilitate and promote harmony among the spouses and encourage them to settle their differences through discussions.
Love is an important part of one’s life. According to most poets and intellectuals, it is an expression of the human side of a person. As such, love is an important component in any couple’s life. Yet classifying love to only exist between the two spouses is unfair. Love is a feeling of admiration which during a marriage is bound to exist between the couple and their families. The sense of togetherness and oneness are all signs of mutual admiration between the couple that shows that love exists.
After divorce though, for most couples their bitter end means that the feeling of mutual respect almost seems to evaporate. How can this fate be avoided? Choosing Orange County divorce mediation will help you facilitate and experience an end to a relation that is amicable and not bitter. If the end of relationship is amicable, the mutual respect between the spouses can continue.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Couples that are going through divorce are most commonly worried about their finances and how their financial position isn’t ideal anymore. Irrespective of whatever way you decide to divide the finances, there will always be the nagging feeling that what amount was once used to run one household is now being used to support two. It is a difficult pill to swallow, but it’s important to ensure the well being of you and your partner. Some people come to mediation expecting they will not have to change the amount they spend on themselves or their lifestyles. Unfortunately, that isn’t the case.
Having said that, if you want financial security to be achieved to the best of your potential, divorce mediation is just the thing for you. For starters, instead of both of you fighting a long litigation battle worth thousands of dollars, it’s cheaper and more effective to come to divorce mediation. Once you decide to mediate your divorce, you should come with reasonable expectations, here are a few tips on how to manage your expectations during divorce mediation:
Understand What Separate Property Is
Separate property is the property that is wholly and solely yours unless some exceptions specific to your case apply. The property that you come into the marriage with or the property that you have inherited during the marriage is only going to be regarded as your separate property. Once you are clear about that and you come into divorce mediation, you should remember that a separate property does not get divided 50/50 between the couples.
Why does it help in curtailing expectations? When you come into divorce mediation, knowing the minor details will help you understand how your property will be treated and you’ll thus have expectations knowing what’s fair and reasonable for you to get.
Review Your Finances
Something that is common among many couples today is that one of the spouses hasn’t looked at the other’s finances for years and is unaware of their current financial position. This spouse has no idea of the income and how the finances of the house are being managed. Sometimes, this lack of knowledge results in them assuming there is a lot more money to be divided than there really is.
How to curtail these misconceptions? When you start your mediation process, your Orange County divorce mediator will tell both of you about each others’ financial position so that during the division of finances there are no lofty expectations leading to disappointment at the end of it.
Learning about your financial position and the details regarding your properties is time spent wisely because these ensure that your expectations are managed. Knowing these facts will help you align your expectations in respect to the black and white numbers that will now be in your knowledge.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
When most people hear the word “divorce,” they think of distrust, couples stressing out, losing control in a court room, leaving a lasting impression on the children who now have to be raised in a broken family. These are all mere thoughts established on false perceptions and stereotypes. In reality, this isn’t the only way divorces happen.
It is a growing belief in divorcing couples that it’s merely an end of a relationship and not the end of the world, and there are different divorce methods that give them the desired result without the publicity of a court. Particularly in California, divorce mediation is one of them. Divorce mediation is an alternative to the litigation process. This method is also known as the 21st Century method of divorce. There are several advantages to this process over litigation:
Creative Solutions
In a world of technology that is made to be customizable, it’s almost fitting that divorce mediation solutions are innovative and creative to tackle your specific situation. In mediation, there is no judge but a mediator who isn’t bound by the limits of law and allows the couples to think outside the box for solutions they are comfortable with.
Flexibility
Divorce mediation in Orange County and all over the U.S. allows couples to be able to decide the times of their mediation through mutual understandings, keeping in mind their professional and personal commitments. Mediation puts the ball in the court of the spouses to decide the pace of the proceedings and the time period in which to achieve a solution.
Cost-Effective
When you go to a court for litigation, there are several fees from case registration to lawyer fees to consultancy fees incurred individually. In divorce mediation though, the costs of lawyers etc. are eliminated, there are only a few costs that are shared among the couple which means the process of mediation costs almost a fraction of litigation.
Win-Win Mentality
This is one of the biggest advantages of divorce mediation. In litigation cases, there are two sides and only one is bound to win, promoting negativity and resentment. California divorce mediators make mediation a form of solving issues through cooperation which means the couples start to focus on beneficial common grounds and compromises for each other promoting mutually beneficial mentality of win-win for both parties.
Your Fate In Your Hands
You are your best judge. Divorce mediation is a process that gives you the power over your decisions. Mediators allow couples and spouses to identify important issues and lead them to a constructive solution that they want. As opposed to a judge that decides cases in litigation, you decide what’s best for you, all the while the mediator assisting you every step of the way.
The more you get to know about, the more divorce mediation seems like the 21st Century alternative to divorces through litigation. If you want to avoid a messy divorce, consider California Divorce Mediators for a simpler transition in life.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Being a good parent to your child does not have anything to do with your marriage being intact. This statement is important to remember for parents who tend to get depressed at the prospect of single parenting after and during an Orange County divorce. Children who live with single parents lead a different life, and the parent who has custody needs to be on top of things at all times. You have to realize that the responsibilities you shared with your partner in raising your children are now yours to bear.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
