The Choice Between An Emotional and a “Conscious Uncoupling” Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators in Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsHave you seen couples ending their relationship? Are you aware of the pain that they go through? Divorce is one of the toughest decision couples can take in their lives. A divorce can mean an emotionally-charged decision that is likely to leave the spouses broken and shattered. The intense emotions that are associated with divorce can often lead couples making terrible choices that end up haunting them for rest of their lives. Having a peaceful divorce is something that all couples should want, and the idea of what a peaceful divorce can mean was brought to the forefront in 2014 by Gwyneth Paltrow’s announcement in 2014 that she was “consciously uncoupling” from her relationship to musician Chris Martin of the band Coldplay after more than 10 years of marriage. Although the term “conscious uncoupling” has been the butt of jokes since then, the process of conscious uncoupling is really a process for completing a relationship in a more amicable and mature way that leaves the parties feeling at peace, whole and without the destruction and emotional turmoil associated with nasty divorces.  In other words, at the end of the day, the end of the relationship/marriage is viewed as more of the completion of the relationship, which allows the parties to feel good about how they handled the divorce process and to be able to focus their energy into moving on and making their next relationship better because they themselves have grown as opposed to focusing on the blame and heartbreak of the past.

Talk to Yourself

One of the most popular sayings in the world is “you are what you believe you are”. Continuing on this belief, you can have a divorce just like you believe you deserve. Negative emotions with respect to the other spouse are common, especially if the divorce is not mutually agreed upon. Most people associate all kinds of slangs with their spouse, what is important to realize though is that you can never have a peaceful divorce unless you want it. As long as you have the sense of bitterness in your heart and mind about your spouse, there is always going to be a wall between you and a peaceful divorce.

At this point of time, it is important that you have a conversation with yourself. Make sure you lay out the plans and choices like whether you want a peaceful divorce or want to punish your spouse in court? If you choose the option of peaceful divorce, you’ll need to make sure you and your spouse take part in Orange County divorce mediation. Divorce mediation is a communicative, divorce resolution method which saves the spouses from the fatigue of fighting it out in court.

Think Before You Take An Action

How important are your children for you? Do you think they deserve the love of both parents? Can you see them get scared for life after seeing the battle between their parents? Children are an important asset in divorces. Thinking about all the pros and cons of both types of divorce mediation and divorce litigation methods will help you do what’s best in your and your family’s interest. Divorce litigation may allow you to have better chance to inflict a larger amount of pain on the other spouse, but if you are looking for a peaceful divorce, it is best to go with mediation.

Divorce mediation is all about couples and subjects such as children that are mutually important to both and can be dealt with flexibly, as opposed to what would happen in the process of litigation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”