Divorce mediation is becoming one of the leading sources for spouses to turn to and look for an alternative solution when they are going for a divorce in Orange County and elsewhere. The reasons for such a thing happening can be many, one of the primary ones though are the hard work that divorce mediators put in to make things work out and an agreement reached between the two spouses. The agreements to divorce mediation are one of the best agreed upon ones particularly because there is a large amount of time, effort and communication that is involved in it to try and make it work.
The key to the success of divorce mediation is team work. One has to realize that at the end of the day, the process of mediation is all about making friends and not adversaries. Team work is given due importance in divorce mediations. This is particularly because only teamwork and working together will take the spouses close to the resolution of the disputes. Here are a few tips that are going to help the spouses in their efforts for teamwork to try and make the most of divorce mediation:
A Willingness to Cooperate
A divorce mediator, no matter how good they are, cannot despite all their efforts be able to get an agreement out of the mediation process if either of the spouses is unwilling to cooperate. Cooperation is key to all kinds of teams, whether it is a team sport, a team meeting or a team work. In the context of divorce mediation, cooperation means being truthful in the process, bringing documentation, etc.
Open and Effective Communication
One of the widely cherished features of divorce mediation is its transparency. Divorce mediation is a process that is about openness and making sure that nothing is hidden from the other or kept in the dark. Communication is the key in all areas of life, and it is no different in case of Orange County divorce mediation. The better the spouses are able to communicate with each other, the greater the chance of the mediation process becoming a success. This is because communication is likely to enhance trust which is the key to team work.
Being Open-Minded
If you come into any team work job with a set pattern of work that you have developed on your own, it is unlikely to work. Team work requires appreciation of idea and being willing to adapt and change. This is why open mindedness is integral to team work in divorce mediation. You shouldn’t come to mediation with a set goal and expectation. The best way to make the most of mediation is to go into it with an open mind.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce mediation in Orange County is not usually about the mediator asking the parties the reason for divorce. This is primarily because California is a no-fault divorce state, which makes the parties’ past almost irrelevant as far as mediation is concerned. Yet, there are some situations where the clients are willing to share the reasons of their decision to get an Orange County divorce with the mediators. One of the major reasons that clients share the reasons with their mediators for the ending of their marriage is infidelity.
Infidelity is one of the most fatal blows to a marriage, since it is not only an act of dishonesty, but it is likely to break the other’s trust to almost irreparable level. This is because Infidelity is an act that comes with a lot of emotions. This means that this reason has an impact on divorce mediation like no other reason is likely to do. The most important issue that infidelity creates in the process of Orange County mediation is the lack of trust that it creates. This is an important aspect, since the whole process of divorce mediation is based on mutual cooperation and consensus, and lack of trust is likely to hamper all that.
These dangers and impacts of infidelity on divorce mediation have warranted the introduction of safeguards to handle such situations. They are:
Screening
The first thing to do before the process of mediation starts is to make sure that the client is able to get through mediation or not. This is done through the use of screening. Before the start of the mediation process, the clients have a meeting with the mediator. It is only after the meeting that mediators are in a position to decide if the clients are up for mediation or not.
Full Disclosure
The key to having a healthy and successful divorce mediation process is making sure that there are full disclosures by each of the spouse before the mediation process begins. Full disclosure, simply put, is a declaration by the spouses of their assets, financial position, debts, expenses, and total incomes. The validity of the claims is shown thrown additional documents that are attached with the declaration. This allows regaining the trust of the estranged party on the process.
The Continued Presence of the Mediator
When you have two spouses in the room alone, one who has been cheated on the other and they try to talk, that is more often than not a recipe for a total disaster. To avoid such sticky situations in the mediation process, as it is made sure that the divorce mediator is present in the process at all times to make sure the clients are facilitated in their communications and resolution of their issues.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Ever since the rise of the process of divorce mediation and its subsequent popularity among couples wanting to end their marriage, a few myths surrounding the phenomenon have also come into being. The leading myth that is attached to divorce mediation is regarding certain types of couples not being able to get the best out of divorce mediation in a way that other couples can. This, however, is nothing but a myth and has no real substance in reality. All kinds of couples can try divorce mediation and be able to get a cooperative, coordinated, and communicated divorce for themselves.
Here is a list of a four of the leading candidates that have been said to be at a disadvantage in regards to divorce mediation and their myths debunked.
People That Have Assets
There is a common myth that people that have assets should avoid Orange County divorce mediation, since the mediation process is unlikely to work efficiently in cases where assets are involved. In reality though, the facts are quite the contrary.
In reality for couples that have significant amount of assets, divorce mediation is likely to be a better option than litigation. Litigation proceedings are long, time-consuming and costly, which will need the spouses to utilize their assets to finance the case. In divorce mediation, however, both the spouses will be able to save tens of thousands of dollars in terms of litigation costs and still be able to amicably agree on the division of assets without an ill feeling involved.
People with Children
Living with divorce parents is unlikely to be an easy experience for the child, yet what is more damaging for such a child is having to see his/her parents fight it out in court and for the divorce to become a long drawn out process. While the myth is that divorce mediation is not effective when children are involved, the reality once again is different. .
Mediation is the best way for parents to end their marriage if children are involved, since mediation allows for amicable, hassle free resolution of issues and disputes.
People that have hired a Lawyer
It is believed that people who have already filed paperwork for divorce in courts and hired an attorney cannot try their hands at divorce mediation. This, however, is not true.
Divorce mediation can be used at any stage by the spouses as long as they are willing to contribute to the resolution of the dispute. The fact that you have hired a lawyer will affect the mediation in no way. If you want, you may ask your lawyer to represent you in the mediation or even keep him/her by your side for help.
People who want to do it themselves
Increasingly, people are trying to save on costs and want to do things on their own. While there have been rumors that mediation is not for people who want to do it themselves, such rumors are baseless.
Divorce mediation is a process that allows the people to be able to represent themselves and even decide the solution among them.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
It has almost become a cliché for divorce to be sighted as a tormenting experience that leaves an emotional scar on the spouses involved in it. Yet it is true, divorce can be particularly challenging for spouses most of whom are going through the process for the very first time. They say couples have a fear of the unknown when they go through marriages, yet that fear can be diminished by the love and support of each other. When couples go through divorce though, this fear of the unknown comes back to haunt them and their relationship crumbles, which means there is no one to comfort the other.
At this time, spouses often seek refuge with their therapists or psychiatric experts to enable them to escape the emotional torment of a divorce. Orange County divorce mediation has the ultimate goal of being a way through which couples can reach an amicable solution to their divorce with legal standing. Divorce mediations depend on three people and three people only; one is the mediator and the other two are the spouses. Typically, the task of a mediator is to facilitate the couples through discussion, and enable the smooth resolution of affairs.
Increasingly though, mediators have started to adapt the skills of a therapist and its approach and have tried to encompass the therapist’s style of working in their job description as well. Orange County divorce mediators have started to opt for therapy courses and even take part in professional therapy qualifications, in order to make sure they not only cater to the legal side of their clients, but to also help them emotionally.
The job of a typical therapist is to build relationships and emotional connections. Normal therapists are given education, experience and training in aspects that involve dealing with families and their issues. They are often required to have thorough grasp on the lifestyle of a family, in addition to having the ability to recognize the dysfunctional behavior and when they need to be changed through an intervention.
The job of an Orange County divorce mediator, on the other hand, is to break and build relations. The mediator owing to his/her line of work needs to be able to understand the intricacies of the couple’s relationship. When the skills of a therapist are integrated with the mediation skills of a divorce mediator, you are likely to get a complete legal and emotional solution provider. The mediator who has therapy skills will have the legal acumen as well as the ability to encourage, discourage and control the emotions of the spouse from getting the better of them.
Sometimes, divorce mediation processes can become emotionally charged or may reach a level of confrontation that is likely to hurt the overall process. In a situation like this, divorce mediators can act as a breath of fresh air to cool the atmosphere down and make sure the couples reap the best of divorce mediation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Have you ever asked a person how they feel after going through a divorce? Chances are that whenever you do, their description of divorce will be nothing short of a horror story. Most people that have gone through divorce narrate a story of unfair results, uninterested lawyers gulping up the cash and high costs of proceedings that came up to nothing. One of the most important things in a person’s life is their assets and their family, both of which are divided as a result of divorces. Therefore, this is likely to be one of the peaks of emotional transitions that a person can go through in his/her life.
In situations like this though, when you get the services of a divorce attorney, one of the first few things they are likely to do is to make sure you go through with divorce litigation. We have already established how certain matters in divorce are emotionally charged and litigations on such issues go a long way in creating unbearable rifts between the spouses. Why would a lawyer suggest you litigation? Divorce litigation can be used by lawyers to charge hefty legal assistance costs by billing you for each hour that your case goes on for.
Imagine there are children involved in the divorce, what would they feel and see when they experience the sense of bitterness and cut throat competition between their spouses. The next best alternative to children, instead of having both their parents to be there with them all the time, is to be co-parented with each parent coordinating with the other. This is unlikely to be the result if the parents continue to battle it out against one another during the litigation proceedings.
Fed up of all the litigation process that you and your spouse are going through to get solutions for your divorce? Divorce mediation is an alternative to litigation method. This method allows you to keep control over your money, assets, life, and the final decision that you are going to take in terms of asset and family distribution. There are a lot of secrets in the lives of most spouses that they want to continue to keep under the wraps; the best place where that is possible is divorce mediation. The divorce mediation process is in between the couple and the mediator and no one else, which means the personal information will continue to stay personal.
The process of divorce mediation is based on the principles of cooperation and coordination both of which not only save time and money, but they also allow the spouses to have certain cordial relations which can help in keeping the parenting equation balanced. In addition to the fact that divorce mediation, as a process, allows a peaceful transition for married couples to divorced status, the neutrality of the mediator is also another plus point for this method.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Have you seen couples ending their relationship? Are you aware of the pain that they go through? Divorce is one of the toughest decision couples can take in their lives. A divorce can mean an emotionally-charged decision that is likely to leave the spouses broken and shattered. The intense emotions that are associated with divorce can often lead couples making terrible choices that end up haunting them for rest of their lives. Having a peaceful divorce is something that all couples should want, and the idea of what a peaceful divorce can mean was brought to the forefront in 2014 by Gwyneth Paltrow’s announcement in 2014 that she was “consciously uncoupling” from her relationship to musician Chris Martin of the band Coldplay after more than 10 years of marriage. Although the term “conscious uncoupling” has been the butt of jokes since then, the process of conscious uncoupling is really a process for completing a relationship in a more amicable and mature way that leaves the parties feeling at peace, whole and without the destruction and emotional turmoil associated with nasty divorces. In other words, at the end of the day, the end of the relationship/marriage is viewed as more of the completion of the relationship, which allows the parties to feel good about how they handled the divorce process and to be able to focus their energy into moving on and making their next relationship better because they themselves have grown as opposed to focusing on the blame and heartbreak of the past.
Talk to Yourself
One of the most popular sayings in the world is “you are what you believe you are”. Continuing on this belief, you can have a divorce just like you believe you deserve. Negative emotions with respect to the other spouse are common, especially if the divorce is not mutually agreed upon. Most people associate all kinds of slangs with their spouse, what is important to realize though is that you can never have a peaceful divorce unless you want it. As long as you have the sense of bitterness in your heart and mind about your spouse, there is always going to be a wall between you and a peaceful divorce.
At this point of time, it is important that you have a conversation with yourself. Make sure you lay out the plans and choices like whether you want a peaceful divorce or want to punish your spouse in court? If you choose the option of peaceful divorce, you’ll need to make sure you and your spouse take part in Orange County divorce mediation. Divorce mediation is a communicative, divorce resolution method which saves the spouses from the fatigue of fighting it out in court.
Think Before You Take An Action
How important are your children for you? Do you think they deserve the love of both parents? Can you see them get scared for life after seeing the battle between their parents? Children are an important asset in divorces. Thinking about all the pros and cons of both types of divorce mediation and divorce litigation methods will help you do what’s best in your and your family’s interest. Divorce litigation may allow you to have better chance to inflict a larger amount of pain on the other spouse, but if you are looking for a peaceful divorce, it is best to go with mediation.
Divorce mediation is all about couples and subjects such as children that are mutually important to both and can be dealt with flexibly, as opposed to what would happen in the process of litigation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce is one of the most painful and uncertain subject in a couples’ life. When it comes to divorce, there are two ways that a couple can choose to carry it out: litigation and mediation. When a couple decides to get a divorce, there are lots of uncertainties with regards to the procedure and other rules and regulations that may or may not apply to them. If you have chosen Orange County divorce mediation, then you are likely to be uncertain about the future procedure. In such situations it is important for you to talk to your mediator and pose queries regarding your doubts to them.
Here are a few of the questions that you should ask your mediator in determining their ability and experience to effectively mediate your case.
How Do I Get the Other Spouse to Agree with the Use of a Mediator?
This is a common question that is posted in front of most mediators. More often than not, there are disagreements between spouses on the procedure to adopt for their divorce. The best way to get the other party to agree to divorce mediation is to explain the pros and cons of the procedure to the other spouse. It is important to highlight that mediation is a process that depends entirely on the decisions of the two spouses. Being in charge of one’s decisions is one reason that can be used to persuade the other party to agree to divorce mediation.
Are Mediators Regulated by Some Code of Professional Conduct?
While there may be no official code of conduct that all mediators follow from a to z, most top Orange County mediators are part of institutions that have their own separate code of conduct that mediators need to adopt when they are working. One of the most important aspects of this code of conduct is the clause of confidentiality which all mediators are required to follow.
How Can I Check the Mediator’s Competency?
The competency and credentials of a mediator are important considerations to make and hence this is one of the most important questions you should ask. The easiest way to make sure of this is by asking the divorce mediator for his resume or certificates or professional qualifications. The key things to look for in the mediator are considerations for assessing his/her suitability for the mediation of a divorce:
What is the level of experience of the mediator?
What has been the feedback that they have received from previous clients?
How respectable and accepted are their decisions?
Does the mediator charge a fair price?
Has he/she been mired in a controversy?
What area does his competency lie in?
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
There are many reasons that make mediated divorce better than litigated divorce. One of the leading reasons is the fact that more often than not, divorce mediation has a number of ground rules set up between the spouses to help steer the process in the correct direction. These ground rules help the couples focus on the long term solutions instead of short term victories throughout the process. There can be a lot of ground rules, which may include having less amount of direct accusations, no use of foul language or derogatory remarks or maintaining the best interest of the child.
The Best Interest of the Child
This is one of the most commonly used phrases in the divorce world, especially in family law and child custody cases. Yet, do you know what this phrase really means? When you look at the legal side of things, this is a rather complex area of law, since it includes entitlements, parental rights, child visitation, custodial parent residency, etc. The family courts in California use the principle of child’s best interest in deciding a variety of cases and mediators also keep it at the top of their agenda in divorce mediations.
Yet before we talk about it more, let’s take a brief look at the standard of this best interest rule that needs to be considered before any decision is taken:
The type of contact that exists between the parents
Any history of child abuse either emotional, physical or mental
The levels of child safety, welfare and health
Any history of drug, alcohol or substance abuse by either parent
Criminal record of the parents
Mediated Divorce
While these legal definitions do form the basis of the concept, but it is important to realize that Orange County divorce mediators and spouses are not bounded by these legal definitions. For parents who take part in divorce mediations, the parents can look at the existing child-parent relation through the best interest canvas, but it is by no means mandatory.
In divorce and custody mediation, the standard of the child’s best interest is not only depends upon the legal considerations, it also includes ethical and moral considerations. More often than not, each child is different from the other; hence, divorce mediations allow the parents to mutually determine what’s best for the child considering his/her individual case.
According to recent studies on children, the child best flourishes in environments where their surroundings are peaceful and full of harmony. The key to harvesting the child’s best growth in addition to looking for his/her best interest is to have effective and frequent communications with them as well as keeping them away from the spousal bitterness of a divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce is one of the hardest times for a person, with emotional traumas and mental setbacks being one of the few things that are usually encountered by spouses going through a divorce. Ending a relation that was started with the aim of it lasting a lifetime is hard. Different spouses react to this situation differently. Spouses can seem aggressive, aggrieved, restless or calm, and overtly funny, etc. The behavior of one’s spouse is important in the divorce resolution cases whether it be in courts or through divorce mediation.
In divorce mediation, the spouse’s behavior takes up a whole different level of importance. Mediation is a process that involves cooperation and coordination between the spouses to reach a conclusion. Ideally, mediation requires both the spouses at ease and willing to work towards a solution, to be effective. In reality though, different spouses tend to act differently in Orange County divorce mediation solutions.
Here, we are going to talk about the different situations and how spouses are seen to react in each.
The Financial Muscle
Was your spouse the one who was always under control of your marriage? Did he/she earn the most in the household? If the answer to either of those questions is in the affirmative, chances are that your spouse craves power and is accustomed to authority. Spouses with such tendencies are often resistant to any kind of change in their life without their approval, let alone divorce.
A divorce mediation is likely to result in a restless, dominant, and overpowering behavior from your spouse, trying to sustain their control over you. This is one of the most common situations and it should not deter your decisions. People with such behavior are likely to prefer litigation to death, but trying and talking to them may result in them trying mediation.
Instable Emotional State
Divorce as previously mentioned is a painful process in itself. Add an emotionally unstable spouse, and the divorce proceedings threaten to boil over and become dangerous. Divorce mediation is a process that depends on reasoning, logic, and immense resolve to try and seek resolution. Spouses that are emotionally unstable are likely to have a distinct sense of revenge, and lack of logic.
Emotional instability can result from several factors, which may include hate towards the other spouse, a feeling of un–fulfillment, or a sense of betrayal. When a person is in that state of mind, it is better to consult a psychiatrist before any kind of divorce proceedings whether they is divorce mediation or litigation can be started. The lack of mental incapacity at a later date can be sighted as a reason by the spouse’s lawyer to annul any agreements, resolutions, and decisions that are taken at this point.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce in California can be one of the easiest and one of the hardest processes within the family law jurisdiction. Here are some answers to the most commonly asked questions with regards to California divorce law, so that you are able to know what you should about the rules that control in all counties of California, including an Orange County divorce case.
Q. I was married in a foreign country and now I am remarrying. Where do I have to do my divorce papers?
Getting a divorce in California is possible as long as you meet the residency requirements. As long as you have lived in your county for three months and in California for six months prior to filing for divorce, you can apply for it.
Q. If I divorce my spouse and they get retirement from their job, am I entitled to half of it?
The answer to this question is dependent on the timing of the divorce and the retirement of the spouse. As long as the spouse earned all, most, or even some of the retirement pension during the time of the marriage, then you are entitled to some part of it. The percentage of amount you will get depends on the number of years he/she earned the retirement pension while being in a marriage with you.
For example, if the spouse worked for 15 years to earn the retirement benefits, and for all those 15 years they were married to you, you are likely entitled to one-half thereof.
Q. I own a property bought before my marriage, what is the status of that property at the time I get divorced?
Properties that are bought and owned by one or the other spouse before they enter wedlock are usually regarded as separate properties. However, it is important to note that your property will be regarded as a separate property only if no community funds were used to purchase it or any rights given over it to the spouse, such as by adding the other spouse to the title to the property. Separate properties are not counted as the divisible assets in a divorce and they will stay yours irrespective of the divorce results. However, the other spouse might still have an interest in the property if the principal on the mortgage loan was paid down during the marriage. These issues can be complex and it is advised that you speak with a qualified divorce attorney to understand your situation and your rights.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce mediation is becoming one of the leading sources for spouses to turn to and look for an alternative solution when they are going for a divorce in Orange County and elsewhere. The reasons for such a thing happening can be many, one of the primary ones though are the hard work that divorce mediators put in to make things work out and an agreement reached between the two spouses. The agreements to divorce mediation are one of the best agreed upon ones particularly because there is a large amount of time, effort and communication that is involved in it to try and make it work.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
