Does Infidelity Affect Spousal Support in California Divorces?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Spousal support Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsA marriage could end in divorce if one partner discovers that the other has a lover on side. The failure of marriage due to infidelity can be extremely painful for everyone involved.

Adultery and California divorce

The state of California is considered a no fault divorce state.  Divorce is possible for any one of the two possible reasons:

  • Irreconcilable differences between your spouse and you have almost destroyed the relationship and thus it cannot be changed
  • Your spouse has incurable insanity

There is no need to visit the court to testify as to why your marriage suffered and then failed. Only thing which matters in this respect is that both you and your spouse (or any one of you) must believe that it is impossible to save the marriage. Emotional healing is speeded by no-fault divorce. Courtroom processes are also speeded up as the spouses do not argue too much.

Alimony

Alimony is legally known as spousal support as per California laws. It is the money which one spouse pays to other both at the time of divorce and also after divorce. The legislature in California holds the belief that support is critical and thus a law is crafted so that spouses provide financial support to each other.

The aim of alimony is to make sure that the spouse who is poorer is not made destitute after the marriage ends.  The California court may issue the alimony order while divorce proceedings continue to be underway, but is incomplete. The spouse who will receive the alimony may request the court to give a temporary order. The last will be applicable until the issuance of final order.  The final order of alimony may take a number of forms. It may be so that the judge will conclude that there is no evidence to support an alimony award. It can be completely denied.

Adultery factor in alimony

Judges analyze multiple factors before awarding alimony. It will include the earning capacity of the spouse so that both of them can maintain certain living standards established during marriage. This will include the receiver spouse’s marketable skills and the state of job market for those skills. The judge will also taken into account the expenses and time needed to acquire sufficient education or the the training to develop certain marketable skills. The ability of the paying spouse to give alimony will also be taken into account.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Pros and Cons of Cohabitation Versus Marriage in California

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

California divorces; California Divorce MediatorsThe subject of whether marriage better or cohabitation warrants a lot of debate based on people’s personal experiences and beliefs. There are some who believe nothing can replace a marriage in a loving relationship, while others beg to differ and believe that cohabitation is equally amazing without the legality of marriage. We discuss some of the benefits and disadvantages of cohabitation over marriage.

Pros of cohabitation over marriage 

  • One of the most obvious benefits is that you get to share your home and life with someone you love and like to be around because you love the person and not because of legality binding you.
  • Cohabiting has all the financial benefits of being in a marriage without the legal hassles that come with marriage. You get to split costs, manage finances, and invest together with your partner.
  • Cohabiting can be a great way to understand if you and your partner can sustain a marriage. It is a good way to know how well you both work together as a couple living together before taking the plunge and getting married.

Cons of cohabitation over marriage 

  • There is some research that shows that marriage may have physical and psychological benefits that are lacking in cohabitation. However, some results are still ambiguous about the reasons behind these differences.
  • There is no legal responsibility or hassle, making it easier to leave a cohabitation arrangement. Marriage demands more legal commitment and, therefore, there is more thought given before a spouse decides to leave.
  • If you have kids while cohabiting, custody rights can become complicated if you decide to go your separate ways, as there is no clear legality.

Cohabitation in California 

California does not recognize common law marriage except when a couple is considered married under common law marriage in a state that recognizes it and then moves to California. California recognizes cohabitation as a legal form of relationship, and there are some provisions for couples who wish to cohabit but not marry.

If you are cohabiting to test your relationship before getting married, you can enter a prenuptial or premarital agreement that lists rules and laws applicable to you as a couple once you get married.

If you simply wish to cohabit without the legal hassles of marriage, then the state has a provision of getting a cohabitation agreement, also known as a nonmarital agreement. This formal agreement lists out responsibilities and rights for the cohabiting couple and works as a contract that is outside of marriage laws.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

What Should Mothers Do When They Lose Custodial Fights?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediators; California Divorce MediatorsFor a parent, there is no greater loss after a divorce than losing custodial rights of their children. There are many grounds on which a court in California can award custodial rights to a father. Substance addiction, abuse and neglect are the topmost reasons and also, mothers who are not financially stable can find themselves on the losing end.

So, what should mothers do when they lose custodial battles? Completely losing custody of one’s children can have a detrimental effects on a parent’s mental health and if you’re a mother who is  concerned that they may find themselves in a similar situation and is hoping to find some advice on what their options are to proceed then taking the following steps can go a long way to helping you land on your feet.

Work to improve your circumstances and take control of your life

The best thing that you can do to restore confidence in your child and your ex is by becoming a better person. Instead of lamenting over the situation, get involved with your child’s activities. From school activities to dental appointments, take small responsibilities on your shoulder and show everyone that you, too, can change. Not only will this help boost your confidence levels, but it will also allow you to take control of your life as well.

Taking control of your child’s responsibilities will teach you to become a natural leader. It will also help you develop an important skill which you might have lacked before your divorce – decision making.

Decision making and control will allow you to improve yourself, both as a person and as a mother.

Get yourself some legal advice or hire a lawyer

If you have some idea of how the legal system works in California, you can help yourself on legal matters. It could be helpful in strengthening your case against your spouse because only you know your strengths and weaknesses. Also, during child care plans, you can point out flaws or save yourself from extra damage than is necessary.

If you don’t understand the law, hire an experienced lawyer. Educated and experienced lawyers can be the main reason for your win.

Conclusion

Losing a custodial battle is tough for mothers and it’s also tough to recover from the loss. However, if you take an interest in your child’s activities then it will help you improve yourself. Improving yourself will help you take control of your life. In any case, make sure you consult a good lawyer before and after a custodial battle.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Reasons Why Some Women Are Happier After They Get Divorced

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsWhen the Kingston University conducted a study for analyzing whether women had a negative effect after divorce or not, the result was quite surprising. About ten thousand people were surveyed as a part of this research and the respondents were in the age group f 16 to 60. The respondents were asked during the survey to rate how they felt before their divorce and after the divorce got finalized,

The researchers found out during the course of two decades of time period that women appeared to be more satisfied and happier in their lives after their divorces came through. Check out some of the following reasons why women could be happier after their divorce.

Women tend to seek more professional help to get over their trauma than men

It has been observed that women are more likely to approach a therapist or a counselor after their divorce to get over their emotional trauma and grief. On the other grand men tend to keep their pain more to themselves during the same phase in their lives; since they are less likely to seek professional support, it may take more time to overcome their grief and stress.

Positive support system

As compared to men, women are more likely to ensure that they have a positive support system around them during such a difficult time like their families and friends.

Different strategies for coping up with their emotional upheaval

Usually, women are known to possess unique strategies to cope up with their emotions. Women tend to look inward to seek comfort for overcoming their emotional pain. Men have a tendency to look outward. Women introspect on whether they had a role in the breakup of their marriage and they work harder to overcome their emotions and let go of their past and concentrate on their future.

Less chance of alcohol abuse

Many men tend to get addicted to alcohol during such times but women are less likely to do so.   Moreover, women are less likely to turn to casual sex and new relationships quickly for distracting them from the agony of divorce as compared to men.

Look out for new experience

Divorced women have a greater possibility to look out for new experiences post their divorce. These fresh experiences can provide them hope for a bright future and can even enrich their lives.

Powerful sense of perseverance

For many divorced women, giving up does not come easy as they have a stronger sense of perseverance as compared to divorced men. Many divorced women also do most of the childcare job as well as rake up jobs to have a better financial stability.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

How To Befriend Your Ex-Spouse After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsA divorce isn’t always the ‘be all and end all’ of a relationship. A relationship can be defined in many different ways. A divorce ends a legal marriage. It takes a little time to get over the relationship. But you wouldn’t always want to cut contact with the person you married. Sometimes you still want to remain in touch. Your partner has been a big part of your life and you don’t want to lose that.

Staying in touch for divorced couples who have shared custody of their children is inevitable. In such circumstances, being cordial and developing a friendly relationship for the benefit of the child is vital. To help you with the process, listed below are a few tips you can employ in your relationship to ensure your transition from a spouse to a friend seamlessly.

Accept and forgive

Changing your relationship status from spouse to friend is difficult. It comes with a host of insecurities and unresolved issues. The foremost task at hand is to accept your ex for the person he/she is and forgive him/her for his/her actions. It’s important to also understand that your partner might look out for another partner or start dating. Focusing on yourself and your life is important for your personal growth and in turn your friendship with your ex.

Time to get over

Divorces can sometimes get really messy. Getting over the person you thought was your soul mate is never easy. Memories, unresolved baggage, and loneliness do tend to get to people. Take some time away from your ex. Start a new hobby or focus on work to create a distraction and give you time to analyze your situation. Seek the help of a therapist and work your way around your emotions to eventually accept the divorce and come to terms with the present arrangement of the relationship. Consult with your Orange County divorce attorney or mediator if you want to make any changes to the present arrangement that you think may help you to improve the relationship with your ex.

Reach out

If it means you taking the first step towards the intended friendship, then go for it. Reach out to your ex and acknowledge your friendship. Communicating each other’s points of view on the subject helps deal with the lost relationship and hones the friendship. Communication gives you a perspective and means to improve the friendship.

Keep in touch

It’s important to maintain the friendship by keeping in touch. It’s vital to hone this rapport if you are raising a kid with your ex. Ensure you keep a contact with your ex. Co-ordinating with your ex over activities, events like weddings or your child’s schedule help build this rapport. A cordial friendship respects the fallen romantic relationship by eradicating remorse or regret.

At the end of the day, your life is all about living it to the fullest. So why live with negativity and regret. Divorce may be the end of a marriage, but it could be the beginning of a valuable friendship.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Considering Your Credit Ratings When You Get Divorced

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsIf you are getting divorced, it is imperative for you to be cautious so that your credit does not get damaged during the process. Check out some of these common scenarios that you should be vigilant about.

It is becoming too much to make the car payments 

The court has declared that the family car should be awarded to the ex-wife. However, she is also supposed to take ownership of the payments. When the couple was married, it might not have been a strain to make those payments. However, now that she is shifting to a new house and has to completely rely on her own personal income, she may end up paying the EMIs late. When payments are not made on time, the credit report may get hit. 

None of the spouses paid the due on their joint credit. 

When the divorce settlement is being negotiated, both the parties usually settle and decide who will bear the responsibility of paying certain debts, For instance, the former husband is supposed to pay the debt on the joint credit card. When he fails to pay off the debt, collections may receive that account. As a result, there could be significant damage caused to the records of both the parties although the former wife is clueless about what was happening.

No credit as there was no history 

In many marriages, only one of the spouses controls finances. On many occasions, the names of both the couples may feature on the accounts. For instance, only the husband’s name appears on the sole credit card and on the mortgage and the wife has to depend on their family checking account. After a divorce is finalized, the said wife may not have any credit as she did not attempt to create her separate credit history during the marriage. It is important to note that credit history is a part of the credit score.

Ensure that credit record are protected

The spouses should realize that credit scores are an important concern during the process of divorce. It is crucial for both the parties to contemplate about personal credit history. They should address relevant concerns in their divorce decree. Here are some of the ways of doing so.

  • Separate from the joint account 

A spouse should ensure that their name no longer features in an account controlled by the ex.

  • Must have separate and own accounts 

One needs to ensure their access to credit. Both the parties should ensure that those accounts have a good history.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Common Mistakes Husbands Make During Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsIrrespective of you being a man or a woman, divorce can be quite a messy affair. There are emotions such as hurt feelings, anger, and divorce lawyers becoming aggressive to make sure that their clients have an edge over each other. So, it is not unnatural that certain mistakes are committed. This is applicable for dime men who may not take the intricacies of divorce proceedings into their stride. Men may not be in a situation they would like to be in. Thus, it is imperative that they are well-prepared for such situations. Often men may be at a disadvantage both emotionally as well as legally. In such scenarios, they may stop thinking logically and may err while making the right choices. The following are some of those common mistakes many husbands tend to make during divorce.

Retaliate negatively

There are some husbands who become obstinately insistent upon destroying their wives when they get to know that their wives want a divorce from them. While these men may still love their wives, they permitted the torment of their divorce to prevail over their good sense and the urge to punish their wives for leaving. Rather, the husbands should not bad-mouth their wives. Do not listen to those people who keep telling you that she will try to take away your house, children, and car. It may have a negative repercussion when she gets to know that you made belittling statements about her and gives her an opportunity to tell everyone how unreasonable you always have been like this, which prompted her to take such a big step.

Not taking the help of a divorce lawyer in time

In a majority of the cases, it is the women who have the edge in divorce cases. It is better to hire a divorce attorney as early as possible so that the latter can tell you what legal rights you enjoy as a father. They will also guide you on what your behavior should be like when the divorce process is going on. When you gave kids from your marriage, you would like to ensure that your relationship with them remain harmonious. Hiring a divorce attorney quickly should be your key responsibility so that your role as a dad remains intact during and after the divorce.

Unwilling to negotiate

When you refuse to negotiate and mediate your divorce settlement, the expenses of your divorce may go up and your ex-wife may end up getting some of what she had been claiming for though you may not like it. Hence, try to be reasonable and civil during the divorce process.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.

Why Mediation is Good for an Uncontested Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediators; California Divorce MediationIn case you are contemplating divorce, you may feel apprehensive about approaching a court. Most people feel scared and nervous with the prospect of going to a court and testify before a judge while they are going through one of the most critical phases in their lives. Stress is the last thing you want to go through at this crucial juncture of your life. Mediation can prove to be an ideal replacement for a trial in the courtroom in divorce cases. It is a process that serves its purpose for cases of uncontested divorces as well as for those divorce cases that can eventually become uncontested when a skilled Orange County divorce mediator is involved.

Benefits of taking assistance from a professional mediator

Resolve marital conflicts: Effective mediation can help in resolving marital conflicts between the couples and arrive at a consensus about the different divorce terms. The purpose of mediation is to concentrate on working together and it is not an adversarial procedure. An unbiased mediator guides both the parties while addressing their individual needs and solve their problems.

Spouses can remain in control: Both the parties can choose their discussion topics and define any settlement terms instead of the details being dictated by a court. The spouses have complete control over the discussion process.

Mediation is less costly: Litigation costs much more than mediation. If a spouse has to get the divorce through a trial then his or her divorce attorneys need to spend several hours for appearing in the courtroom and drafting motions.

More flexibility: A mediation process is much more flexible as compared to a litigation process. When you approach a court, you have to be present when your hearing is scheduled by the court, On the other hand, with the assistance of professional mediation, sessions can be arranged according to your own convenience. It is possible to participate in a mediation meeting even via a conference call or an online video chat.

Quicker resolution of case: Thanks to mediation, you need not wait for a date from the court that may take several days. Since you can schedule your mediation sessions, achieving resolution is a faster process and you can start your new life thereafter.

Why mediation is good for uncontested divorces?

Are your expecting to get an uncontested divorce? If that is the case, mediation is an effective process to work out the contentious issues in such a way that proves to be beneficial for all the involved parties like your kids, your spouse and you. It is a process that offers a way to work closely with your estranged partner to sort out all the pending issues without the trouble of approaching a court.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

The Benefits of Continuing Therapy After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsStudies claim that several people are highly benefitted after attending post divorce counseling. In fact, many of them have even gone to the extent of admitting that such sessions were the best thing to happen to them after their divorce got finalized.

All those people who signed their divorce papers and want to resume their daily and routine activities should go through post divorce counseling. Such sessions are even more beneficial when there are kids in the marriage. After all, it is the children who are most affected when their parents go separate ways. When parents are happy and contented, their kids will be happy too. It, in turn, would mean a bright future for these kids. And which parent would not like to see this happen to their children? The following are some of the benefits you can expect from counseling sessions after your divorce.

Start enjoying your life once again 

You may have a fond memory of how your lifestyle was before you even got married. Partying till late in the evening, hanging around with your friends without any worries and following your passion were an integral part of your life then. You did not even have to give any explanation to someone about what you were up to. Likewise, it is high time that you stop mourning and brooding and lead a normal life once more. Consulting a professional therapist may help you to become a fun living and carefree single individual once again.

Have a check on your budget 

It may sound a bit silly when you think and discuss managing your finances during therapy counseling. However, several people find the prospect of spending their money quite tough. They may try to get over their loneliness by spending their money on unnecessary items. Since a divorce can be quite a costly affair, you should learn to appreciate the value of every single penny after your divorce period. Post divorce counseling can make you feel less confused and lost and make you a rational and steady money spender.

It is time to start liking yourself 

One of the most crucial components of a good therapy is to learn to like yourself. It is not uncommon for several people to feel that they are to be blamed for the divorce. As time passes this emotion gets converted into self-hatred. A therapist knows how to make their clients feel comfortable and learn to develop a high level of self-esteem so that they get to see a clearer image of themselves.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Epstein Credits and How They Can Affect Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsEpstein credits come up often in California divorce proceedings and as such it pays to know a bit about it. Spouses often learn about these from their lawyers and it is often a contested issue.

Epstein Credit

The term Epstein credit originated from the Marriage of Epstein case. This 1979 case is a published California case. The Epstein credits initially partially became a part of the California Family Code, section 2626. The code states, “The court has jurisdiction to order reimbursement in cases it deems appropriate for debts paid after separation but before trial.”

So, the Epstein credit is basically a form of reimbursement. It offers reimbursement to the spouse who pays community expenses or debts after separation but before the trial. This applies when the spouse pays such expenses with their post separation money. The reimbursement that they receive is actually the other spouse’s share of that particular debt or expense. As example of the type of expense we are discussing here we can consider payments toward a property mortgage. These credits are not limited only to certain types of payments or assets.

Exception to Epstein Credits

There are several exceptions that need to be kept in mind while considering the Epstein Credits rights. There are certain situations in which the family court may not order the reimbursement: They are as follows:

  • The spouses have a prior agreement that does not allow a reimbursement.
  • The payment was to take care of the paying spouse’s spousal support or child support obligations.
  • The spouse who is seeking the reimbursement will not receive it as the payment was initially intended as a gift.
  • The spouse cannot seek reimbursement for the mortgage payment of an asset that they have been using exclusively.

Each individual case differs from the other when it comes to the use of these credits. Irrespective of that, it cannot be ignored that these credits can come in very handy and be useful in any California divorce proceedings. It can take care of some of the most complicated cases of division of assets and treatment of payments made towards mortgage and debts; an issue that most separated couples face.

It is important to consult a divorce advocate who can provide you counsel on whether or not these credits are applicable in your case and if so, then how you can go about using it in your case.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation