What Should You Do When You Realize Your Marriage is Over?
One of the life’s most heartbreaking situations is when one of the spouses in a marriage has decided to end the marriage and file for a divorce while the other still wants the marriage to work out. It may be possible that you are going through such a scenario in your life right now. It is normal to feel a blend of conflicting emotions. Moreover, you are perhaps not certain about your next course of action. It is possible that a painful phase of your life like this is a challenge, which appears extremely difficult to endure. However, do not lose hope since you will definitely get through this.
However, you must remember that situations can vary from case to case, so it is not necessary that all the actions that are mentioned below will apply to all the marriages. However, some of them will help you to overcome this storm in your life or perhaps protect your marriage too.
- Be wary who you approach for seeking solace and comfort
When you feel confused or hurt, it is natural that you would like to reach out for comfort and peace of mind. However, the issue is that many people do not make the correct choices when they are confused or emotionally injured. Avoid resorting to destructive behavior to reduce your pain. Rather, you need to be in the company of people who love you as well as your spouse.
- Continue caring for your spouse
Do not unnecessarily give ultimatums or pick up fights. Try to love them unconditionally and pray for them. Be an honest wife or husband as long as you are in the marriage. You should make attempts to reduce the tension by loving them. Hate often brings in more hate, so try to be loving.
- If you have kids, try protecting them from the discomfort and turbulence in their lives.
When you have kids from your marriage, the constant fights between you and your spouse can be a bigger ordeal for them. Hence, you must do everything to ensure that they are adequately shielded from the tensions and troubles in your marriage, though it is easier said than done. When you say hurtful things to your spouse while fighting with him or her in the presence of your kids, they are sure to get emotionally affected and get disturbed. Such feelings may affect their studies and personality.
You and your spouse have now tried out every trick in the book. Both of you have even attended counseling sessions together for a few times. In fact, it has been you who have been insisting on those sessions to save your marriage. However, despite all the steps taken, you are still unable to get along with your spouse. When such feelings get repetitively familiar to you, perhaps it is time to call it quits and seek the advice of a good divorce lawyer to start your divorce proceedings.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
