The 3 Golden Rules of Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Many couples do not want to go through divorce litigation. Instead, they want to try and resolve their divorce out of court. But in order for divorce mediation to work, the spouses have to forget their bitter differences and sit and discuss all issues related to their divorce. Not only is the process of mediation a lot shorter than a divorce, but it is also a lot cheaper.

There are 3 golden rules that are followed in a divorce mediation process:

1. A divorce mediation is not a procedure where evidence is required to resolve conflicts. The professional mediator (neutral third party) will use his or her knowledge and experience to help you and your spouse to reach an understanding and an agreement. You will be encouraged to compromise on certain issues and reach a resolution.
2. A divorce mediation cannot be expected to resolve every single conflict between the spouses. Mediators can successfully resolve most of the issues but sometimes there are certain issues that can be resolved only with the help of the family court. If you can resolve even some of the issues in the mediation, you will be saving a lot of money. Patience is a very crucial part of any mediation.
3. In a divorce mediation, both the spouses have to be willing to listen to each other and to the mediator. Most importantly, you will have to be active participants. You can reach a settlement only if both of you are willing to participate and act.

You and your spouse should be ready to follow these 3 golden rules if you want a mediation. But how do you determine if you are ready for a mediation or not. You should be ready to do the following –

• Disclose your and your spouse’s income through verifiable supporting documents.
• Be willing to discuss issues related to your children. Visitation rights and co-parenting are some of the issues that need to be resolved.
• Be honest with each other about separate and community property and assets.
• Be willing to reach compromises and make mutual decisions and not leave it to the judge.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation. 

Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.