6 Ways to Resolve to Avoid Divorce

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsWhen two people get married, it is not only their life that changes, but also the lives of a number of other people who are close to the two spouses. This is why it is important for people to maintain their marital relation until there is no choice but to go for divorce.

Even then, when you are getting divorced, your choices need to be mindful of the fact that your decisions will have a lasting impression. Hence, it is best that you go for divorce mediation, which is a peaceful method of ending a relation instead of litigation.

However, as a divorce is an option of last resort, first off, you should try to save your relation. Here are a few resolutions that will help you do just that.

1.     Talk finances

The root cause of most marital problems is money. It is also the first thing that couples fight for in a divorce. Hence, it is important for spouses to talk about their finances at the start of each year. This way, you can separate the expenses for each spouse and ensure that fights on finances are avoided.

2.     Be realistic about your relationship

Expecting too much out of something is never a good thing. The same goes for your relationship. The biggest mistake that a person can make to ruin a relationship is looking for more than what their partner can give. This creates friction, loss of love and eventually, a bitterness that leads to the end of the relation.

3.     If you fight, stay on topic

Fighting is natural for two people that live under the same roof, especially when both of them are married to one another and have a stake in the other’s life. Yet, sometimes, how the fight is fought dictates what will unfold. Often, during the heat of the battle, spouses can leave the topic of the discussion behind and direct the fight personally. This is wrong and needs to be avoided.

4.     Forget you had a past

Keeping a memory of the fights, problems, issues and bitterness will only lead to more of the same. The best way to move on and strengthen a relationship is starting afresh from a clean slate always. If you keep living in the past, you might ruin your future.

5.     Ensure communication

This aspect cannot be stressed enough. Silence breeds insecurities, false thoughts and fears. The only way to avoid all that is to have a clear communication with your spouse always. Only when you are unable to communicate with your spouse will your marriage tether on the brink of an Orange County divorce.

6.     Compromise even if you are right

At the start of your relationship, you should ask yourself if you want this. When you want a marriage, you should do everything to keep it, even if it requires you to compromise on something that you knew you were right about. Anything that will avoid conflict should be opted for.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”