5 Misconceptions About Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediators; California Divorce MediationAs years have passed, Orange County divorce mediation has started to come more to the forefront. Increasingly, couples who are unable to resolve their differences and want to go their separate paths in life are looking to opt for mediation instead of litigation as the way to go about their divorce. This is due to a number of reasons. What is important to realize though is that as the number of people looking for mediation increases, so do the misconceptions.

Here is a list of some of the most recent misconceptions about divorce mediation.

1.     Negotiating with a spouse who is unreasonable is impossible

As the divorce time approaches, emotions start to boil and spouses generally hate each other. There is anger, anguish and resentment at the situation, especially for a spouse who has been cheated or lied upon. This can result in tense, unreasonable demands by spouses to one another during the mediation resolution talks.

While it may be tricky to handle, it is certainly not impossible to mediate. At the heart of all the anger and the anguish for both spouses, is almost always a fear of the unknown future. That is what divorce mediators are trained to cater to and suppress. They will talk to the two spouses and ensure that they come to a peaceful, simple and quick end to their marriage.

2.     Once the divorce is done, so is my interaction with the other spouse

As great a proposition as it may be, to most spouses going through a divorce right now, this is unfortunately, not the case. You might have negotiated a divorce agreement with the other spouse but you will have to interact with them post divorce in matters that concern the children and even down the line, if you feel that the divorce agreement needs to be re-examined.

3.     You can’t use an attorney in divorce mediation

There is a common misconception that the use of an attorney is barred in divorce mediation. Yet, that is far from reality. In reality, there is no such ban on the use of an attorney, yet it is seen that most people tend to go through it alone, largely because it’s cheaper and the mediators help the spouses with the complex issues.

4.     Arbitration, mediation and collaborative divorce are all the same thing

This though, is largely a myth. The fact that they are named differently is reason enough to understand that they aren’t the same thing. In a collaborative divorce, both spouses hire an attorney to negotiate, while it is done out of court. Arbitration is different as there, an arbitrator much like the judge, will give the ruling. Divorce mediation, on the other hand, is a process where the two spouses will decide their future themselves.

5.     Litigated divorce gets you a better outcome

This is something that most people believe when they go for a litigated divorce. Instead, quite the contrary is true. Not only is mediation a cheaper method to divorce, it is also one where you are best placed to make a deal that suits you, instead of hoping for the judge to rule in your favor.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”