The Impact of Infidelity in Divorce Mediation

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediator; California Divorce MediatorsDivorce mediation in Orange County is not usually about the mediator asking the parties the reason for divorce. This is primarily because California is a no-fault divorce state, which makes the parties’ past almost irrelevant as far as mediation is concerned. Yet, there are some situations where the clients are willing to share the reasons of their decision to get an Orange County divorce with the mediators. One of the major reasons that clients share the reasons with their mediators for the ending of their marriage is infidelity.

Infidelity is one of the most fatal blows to a marriage, since it is not only an act of dishonesty, but it is likely to break the other’s trust to almost irreparable level. This is because Infidelity is an act that comes with a lot of emotions. This means that this reason has an impact on divorce mediation like no other reason is likely to do. The most important issue that infidelity creates in the process of Orange County mediation is the lack of trust that it creates. This is an important aspect, since the whole process of divorce mediation is based on mutual cooperation and consensus, and lack of trust is likely to hamper all that.

These dangers and impacts of infidelity on divorce mediation have warranted the introduction of safeguards to handle such situations. They are:


The first thing to do before the process of mediation starts is to make sure that the client is able to get through mediation or not. This is done through the use of screening. Before the start of the mediation process, the clients have a meeting with the mediator. It is only after the meeting that mediators are in a position to decide if the clients are up for mediation or not.

Full Disclosure

The key to having a healthy and successful divorce mediation process is making sure that there are full disclosures by each of the spouse before the mediation process begins. Full disclosure, simply put, is a declaration by the spouses of their assets, financial position, debts, expenses, and total incomes. The validity of the claims is shown thrown additional documents that are attached with the declaration. This allows regaining the trust of the estranged party on the process.

The Continued Presence of the Mediator

When you have two spouses in the room alone, one who has been cheated on the other and they try to talk, that is more often than not a recipe for a total disaster. To avoid such sticky situations in the mediation process, as it is made sure that the divorce mediator is present in the process at all times to make sure the clients are facilitated in their communications and resolution of their issues.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”