Do you want to get your child custody and support agreements made? Are you looking for an attorney to litigate it for you? Before you do that though, consider getting the services of a divorce mediator. A large number of parents who tend to go to litigation are left wanting and disappointed at the child custody and support orders that courts give. The best way to avoid this feeling of ‘what if’ or ‘it could have been better than this’ is for the parents to erase the court out of the picture and do it themselves.
How? Divorce mediation services and mediators can help you through the mediation process to develop your child custody and support orders.
The Money Game
Courts are likely to focus their approach to try and split the child custody and child support costs. The formulas for this are likely to be the ones that are mandated. There is little or no chance of deviation from those principles that have already been agreed upon. Yet in divorce mediation, the mediator will facilitate the parents but ultimately leave the final decision of the costs and the finances splitting on them.
Child custody, on the other hand, is likely to be a trickier subject, since the custody of one’s child is what both the parents desire and it is likely to have a host of emotions attached to it. However, divorce mediators are skilled professionals who are likely to be able to address the emotional side of things and yet allow the parents to reach a mutually agreed upon child custody arrangement where both the parents get what they want more or less.
Another advantage of this method is the fact that when parents mutually agree upon support payments and child custody arrangements, they are likely to honor it more willingly than they would do to a court order that is imposed on them which they aren’t particularly content with.
Adversarial is not a Word to Describe Mediation
The key to mediation is going into it prepared and knowing what you want out of the process. Having said that, however, it must be noted that mediation is a process where you are required to make concessions and so flexibility in your plans is a must. The one thing that should be the top priority in a mediation agreement being developed is the best interest of their child. Children should come first in any agreement being made with their rights and future being guaranteed first and foremost.
Look to the Future
The process of Orange County mediation is all about looking towards the future. Mediation is a process not only helps you develop a better future for your child, it makes sure your emotional trauma side is kept as far away as possible.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce mediation is becoming one of the leading sources for spouses to turn to and look for an alternative solution when they are going for a divorce in Orange County and elsewhere. The reasons for such a thing happening can be many, one of the primary ones though are the hard work that divorce mediators put in to make things work out and an agreement reached between the two spouses. The agreements to divorce mediation are one of the best agreed upon ones particularly because there is a large amount of time, effort and communication that is involved in it to try and make it work.
The key to the success of divorce mediation is team work. One has to realize that at the end of the day, the process of mediation is all about making friends and not adversaries. Team work is given due importance in divorce mediations. This is particularly because only teamwork and working together will take the spouses close to the resolution of the disputes. Here are a few tips that are going to help the spouses in their efforts for teamwork to try and make the most of divorce mediation:
A Willingness to Cooperate
A divorce mediator, no matter how good they are, cannot despite all their efforts be able to get an agreement out of the mediation process if either of the spouses is unwilling to cooperate. Cooperation is key to all kinds of teams, whether it is a team sport, a team meeting or a team work. In the context of divorce mediation, cooperation means being truthful in the process, bringing documentation, etc.
Open and Effective Communication
One of the widely cherished features of divorce mediation is its transparency. Divorce mediation is a process that is about openness and making sure that nothing is hidden from the other or kept in the dark. Communication is the key in all areas of life, and it is no different in case of Orange County divorce mediation. The better the spouses are able to communicate with each other, the greater the chance of the mediation process becoming a success. This is because communication is likely to enhance trust which is the key to team work.
Being Open-Minded
If you come into any team work job with a set pattern of work that you have developed on your own, it is unlikely to work. Team work requires appreciation of idea and being willing to adapt and change. This is why open mindedness is integral to team work in divorce mediation. You shouldn’t come to mediation with a set goal and expectation. The best way to make the most of mediation is to go into it with an open mind.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Divorce mediation in Orange County is not usually about the mediator asking the parties the reason for divorce. This is primarily because California is a no-fault divorce state, which makes the parties’ past almost irrelevant as far as mediation is concerned. Yet, there are some situations where the clients are willing to share the reasons of their decision to get an Orange County divorce with the mediators. One of the major reasons that clients share the reasons with their mediators for the ending of their marriage is infidelity.
Infidelity is one of the most fatal blows to a marriage, since it is not only an act of dishonesty, but it is likely to break the other’s trust to almost irreparable level. This is because Infidelity is an act that comes with a lot of emotions. This means that this reason has an impact on divorce mediation like no other reason is likely to do. The most important issue that infidelity creates in the process of Orange County mediation is the lack of trust that it creates. This is an important aspect, since the whole process of divorce mediation is based on mutual cooperation and consensus, and lack of trust is likely to hamper all that.
These dangers and impacts of infidelity on divorce mediation have warranted the introduction of safeguards to handle such situations. They are:
Screening
The first thing to do before the process of mediation starts is to make sure that the client is able to get through mediation or not. This is done through the use of screening. Before the start of the mediation process, the clients have a meeting with the mediator. It is only after the meeting that mediators are in a position to decide if the clients are up for mediation or not.
Full Disclosure
The key to having a healthy and successful divorce mediation process is making sure that there are full disclosures by each of the spouse before the mediation process begins. Full disclosure, simply put, is a declaration by the spouses of their assets, financial position, debts, expenses, and total incomes. The validity of the claims is shown thrown additional documents that are attached with the declaration. This allows regaining the trust of the estranged party on the process.
The Continued Presence of the Mediator
When you have two spouses in the room alone, one who has been cheated on the other and they try to talk, that is more often than not a recipe for a total disaster. To avoid such sticky situations in the mediation process, as it is made sure that the divorce mediator is present in the process at all times to make sure the clients are facilitated in their communications and resolution of their issues.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Ever since the rise of the process of divorce mediation and its subsequent popularity among couples wanting to end their marriage, a few myths surrounding the phenomenon have also come into being. The leading myth that is attached to divorce mediation is regarding certain types of couples not being able to get the best out of divorce mediation in a way that other couples can. This, however, is nothing but a myth and has no real substance in reality. All kinds of couples can try divorce mediation and be able to get a cooperative, coordinated, and communicated divorce for themselves.
Here is a list of a four of the leading candidates that have been said to be at a disadvantage in regards to divorce mediation and their myths debunked.
People That Have Assets
There is a common myth that people that have assets should avoid Orange County divorce mediation, since the mediation process is unlikely to work efficiently in cases where assets are involved. In reality though, the facts are quite the contrary.
In reality for couples that have significant amount of assets, divorce mediation is likely to be a better option than litigation. Litigation proceedings are long, time-consuming and costly, which will need the spouses to utilize their assets to finance the case. In divorce mediation, however, both the spouses will be able to save tens of thousands of dollars in terms of litigation costs and still be able to amicably agree on the division of assets without an ill feeling involved.
People with Children
Living with divorce parents is unlikely to be an easy experience for the child, yet what is more damaging for such a child is having to see his/her parents fight it out in court and for the divorce to become a long drawn out process. While the myth is that divorce mediation is not effective when children are involved, the reality once again is different. .
Mediation is the best way for parents to end their marriage if children are involved, since mediation allows for amicable, hassle free resolution of issues and disputes.
People that have hired a Lawyer
It is believed that people who have already filed paperwork for divorce in courts and hired an attorney cannot try their hands at divorce mediation. This, however, is not true.
Divorce mediation can be used at any stage by the spouses as long as they are willing to contribute to the resolution of the dispute. The fact that you have hired a lawyer will affect the mediation in no way. If you want, you may ask your lawyer to represent you in the mediation or even keep him/her by your side for help.
People who want to do it themselves
Increasingly, people are trying to save on costs and want to do things on their own. While there have been rumors that mediation is not for people who want to do it themselves, such rumors are baseless.
Divorce mediation is a process that allows the people to be able to represent themselves and even decide the solution among them.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Building a relationship based on love and trust is one of the hardest, most arduous tasks in the world, yet it is the breaking of the bond of marriage i.e. a divorce, which can be even tougher. Divorce is one of the last options that couples can turn to when they can no longer save their relationship. The process of divorce, however, in most cases, is likely to take a bit of time with the process going on for weeks or even months in the Orange County family law courts.
In the time between filing a divorce and the decision of the divorce coming, the dealings in between spouses can tend to be ones that have an increasing level of discomfort and uneasiness between the spouses. A situation like that is particularly compounded when through the process of getting an Orange County divorce; the spouses live in the same house.
Thus there are often question asked in this regard by annoyed spouses who can no longer tolerate the presence of the other spouse. They ask whether they can kick their spouses out of the house. That is easier said than done, because in the absence of domestic violence, the court will generally not kick out the other spouse where the parties both own the home.
Here is a lowdown on the answer to that question in a bit more detail:
How to Kick the Spouse Out on Emergency Basis?
To be able to get a good measure of how this is possible, we need to take a look at what the law says in this regard. According to the California Family Code Section 6321, the court can issues and ex parte order that will allow them to exclude a party from a dwelling irrespective of who owns the property as long as the person who has care and custody of the child is being protected by this order.
For such an exclusion to happen though, the court needs to be shown either of the three things to make sure the other spouse is excluded. These three things are:
The proof that the property making the claim to oust the other party from the dwelling under the law has the right to possession of the premises.
The proof that the party that is being asked to be excluded has threatened or assaulted any other party, or child, with either of the parties.
The proof that the presence of this party is likely to result in emotional, mental, or physical harm.
How to Kick the Spouse Out on a Non-Emergency Basis?
The availability of the process to kick the spouse out of the house is not only limited to emergency situations. In non-emergency situations, the process is similar to the one in emergency situations only that in normal situations a threat of violence, mental, physical, or emotional damage still needs to be proven to the judge.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
The rate of divorces has continued to go up in the last few decades with couples increasingly looking to end their relations due to issues such as lack of compatibility, understanding, and infidelity. The rate of increase in Orange County divorces has meant that people have now started to look for alternative ways to make sure they are able to end their relationship without having to go to court for settlement. One of the best alternatives in this regard is the use of Orange County divorce mediation.
Divorce mediation is a method of obtaining divorce that is considerably different from the usual method of mediation, since the core of this method is consultation, consensus, and compromise. The use of the three C’s has made divorce mediation one of the most peaceful and easy going way of settling marital disputes and allowing for divorce settlements to be drawn up without rubbing either of the party the wrong way.
Having said that —while divorce mediation is one of the preferable ways for the general public to end their marital relations—, there are a few types of divorce cases that are best left away from mediation. Here is a list of a few of situations where divorce mediation is unlikely to be the best option.
· Cases Where Physical/Emotional/Child Abuse Is Involved
The concept of mediation cases is to create an environment of harmony between the soon-to-be-ex spouses, so that they are able to sit down and talk their differences out amicably without having to drag the courts into the personal matters of a couple. In domestic abuse cases however, more often than not, it is better for a couple to not use divorce mediation and instead rely on court proceedings. The primary reason for this is that cases that involve any kind of abuse are likely to involve protection orders for the abused spouse or child and full investigation into the claims, these tasks are best left to the courts.
· If one of the Spouses is bent on delaying the proceedings and not ready to cooperate
More often than not there are tons of cases where one of the spouses is ready for the divorce process while the other is hell bent on trying to stop the other spouse from doing so for a variety of reasons. In cases such as these, it is best for the couples to try and use the courts instead of divorce mediation services. The reason for this is that mediation services are run on the basis of cooperation and commitment, if either of the spouses is disinterested and lacks the necessary will to find a solution; it is likely to be extremely hard for the mediator to try and continue and keep the mediation going in the right direction. The courts however can make sure with the use of their orders that both of these parties are honest and interested in the matters at hand.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
It has almost become a cliché for divorce to be sighted as a tormenting experience that leaves an emotional scar on the spouses involved in it. Yet it is true, divorce can be particularly challenging for spouses most of whom are going through the process for the very first time. They say couples have a fear of the unknown when they go through marriages, yet that fear can be diminished by the love and support of each other. When couples go through divorce though, this fear of the unknown comes back to haunt them and their relationship crumbles, which means there is no one to comfort the other.
At this time, spouses often seek refuge with their therapists or psychiatric experts to enable them to escape the emotional torment of a divorce. Orange County divorce mediation has the ultimate goal of being a way through which couples can reach an amicable solution to their divorce with legal standing. Divorce mediations depend on three people and three people only; one is the mediator and the other two are the spouses. Typically, the task of a mediator is to facilitate the couples through discussion, and enable the smooth resolution of affairs.
Increasingly though, mediators have started to adapt the skills of a therapist and its approach and have tried to encompass the therapist’s style of working in their job description as well. Orange County divorce mediators have started to opt for therapy courses and even take part in professional therapy qualifications, in order to make sure they not only cater to the legal side of their clients, but to also help them emotionally.
The job of a typical therapist is to build relationships and emotional connections. Normal therapists are given education, experience and training in aspects that involve dealing with families and their issues. They are often required to have thorough grasp on the lifestyle of a family, in addition to having the ability to recognize the dysfunctional behavior and when they need to be changed through an intervention.
The job of an Orange County divorce mediator, on the other hand, is to break and build relations. The mediator owing to his/her line of work needs to be able to understand the intricacies of the couple’s relationship. When the skills of a therapist are integrated with the mediation skills of a divorce mediator, you are likely to get a complete legal and emotional solution provider. The mediator who has therapy skills will have the legal acumen as well as the ability to encourage, discourage and control the emotions of the spouse from getting the better of them.
Sometimes, divorce mediation processes can become emotionally charged or may reach a level of confrontation that is likely to hurt the overall process. In a situation like this, divorce mediators can act as a breath of fresh air to cool the atmosphere down and make sure the couples reap the best of divorce mediation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Have you ever asked a person how they feel after going through a divorce? Chances are that whenever you do, their description of divorce will be nothing short of a horror story. Most people that have gone through divorce narrate a story of unfair results, uninterested lawyers gulping up the cash and high costs of proceedings that came up to nothing. One of the most important things in a person’s life is their assets and their family, both of which are divided as a result of divorces. Therefore, this is likely to be one of the peaks of emotional transitions that a person can go through in his/her life.
In situations like this though, when you get the services of a divorce attorney, one of the first few things they are likely to do is to make sure you go through with divorce litigation. We have already established how certain matters in divorce are emotionally charged and litigations on such issues go a long way in creating unbearable rifts between the spouses. Why would a lawyer suggest you litigation? Divorce litigation can be used by lawyers to charge hefty legal assistance costs by billing you for each hour that your case goes on for.
Imagine there are children involved in the divorce, what would they feel and see when they experience the sense of bitterness and cut throat competition between their spouses. The next best alternative to children, instead of having both their parents to be there with them all the time, is to be co-parented with each parent coordinating with the other. This is unlikely to be the result if the parents continue to battle it out against one another during the litigation proceedings.
Fed up of all the litigation process that you and your spouse are going through to get solutions for your divorce? Divorce mediation is an alternative to litigation method. This method allows you to keep control over your money, assets, life, and the final decision that you are going to take in terms of asset and family distribution. There are a lot of secrets in the lives of most spouses that they want to continue to keep under the wraps; the best place where that is possible is divorce mediation. The divorce mediation process is in between the couple and the mediator and no one else, which means the personal information will continue to stay personal.
The process of divorce mediation is based on the principles of cooperation and coordination both of which not only save time and money, but they also allow the spouses to have certain cordial relations which can help in keeping the parenting equation balanced. In addition to the fact that divorce mediation, as a process, allows a peaceful transition for married couples to divorced status, the neutrality of the mediator is also another plus point for this method.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
The process of divorce, in addition to being one of the most emotionally charged processes, continues to be a complicated one as far as divorce litigation is concerned. The complexity of the divorce process often means that most people tend to shy away from it and rely on hiring lawyers and attorneys to help them out. Typically, a divorce process involves the person having to go to court, hiring lawyers, letting the judge decide on the future of their lives, relationships and handling of assets.
In a divorce court case, couples tend to take a back seat and their lawyers and the judge hold the pole positions in deciding their fates. The decision comes from the judge who is bound by the laws. Anybody who is asked to follow a decision that has been forced on them without major consultation is likely to resent it. This is exactly the case as far as the divorce court cases are concerned. The spouses have only a little to say in the judge’s decision. When this is the case, it is often a challenge to accept the outcome and live according to it.
Most couples get to have a greater say in the decisions that are taken about their lives. When people are actively involved in the decision making process, the accuracy of the decision as well as its acceptability increases. In the case of divorce cases in courts, the law and the legal arguments used mean that the decision is likely to be under the set quarantines of law. This means that the one size fits all method is likely to be used in the case of each couple no matter how different their situations may be.
In cases like where the lawyers hold the key to your future, more often than not lawyers tend to milk their clients for unnecessary procedures to try and increase their wage bill. This and the fact that fighting a divorce case in family law court can cost a couple a hefty amount of money, making it one process to avoid. When you decide to avoid this process, how should you get a divorce then?
Divorce mediation is the way forward. Increasingly couples have started to venture into the mediation side of things to try and have resolutions of their divorces with mutually acceptable solutions. Divorce mediation is a process that involves a divorce mediator in Orange County or other county and the couples themselves. The mediator is only there to keep the discussion on the proper tracks; the couples are given the power to agree their solution among themselves. Divorce mediation is a legally acceptable procedure and the resulting outcome is also enforceable by courts.
Are you in need of a divorce and don’t think which method to use? Unless you have a large fortune or an appetite for a long gruesome court case, divorce mediation likely makes alot of sense in your particular situation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Have you seen couples ending their relationship? Are you aware of the pain that they go through? Divorce is one of the toughest decision couples can take in their lives. A divorce can mean an emotionally-charged decision that is likely to leave the spouses broken and shattered. The intense emotions that are associated with divorce can often lead couples making terrible choices that end up haunting them for rest of their lives. Having a peaceful divorce is something that all couples should want, and the idea of what a peaceful divorce can mean was brought to the forefront in 2014 by Gwyneth Paltrow’s announcement in 2014 that she was “consciously uncoupling” from her relationship to musician Chris Martin of the band Coldplay after more than 10 years of marriage. Although the term “conscious uncoupling” has been the butt of jokes since then, the process of conscious uncoupling is really a process for completing a relationship in a more amicable and mature way that leaves the parties feeling at peace, whole and without the destruction and emotional turmoil associated with nasty divorces. In other words, at the end of the day, the end of the relationship/marriage is viewed as more of the completion of the relationship, which allows the parties to feel good about how they handled the divorce process and to be able to focus their energy into moving on and making their next relationship better because they themselves have grown as opposed to focusing on the blame and heartbreak of the past.
Talk to Yourself
One of the most popular sayings in the world is “you are what you believe you are”. Continuing on this belief, you can have a divorce just like you believe you deserve. Negative emotions with respect to the other spouse are common, especially if the divorce is not mutually agreed upon. Most people associate all kinds of slangs with their spouse, what is important to realize though is that you can never have a peaceful divorce unless you want it. As long as you have the sense of bitterness in your heart and mind about your spouse, there is always going to be a wall between you and a peaceful divorce.
At this point of time, it is important that you have a conversation with yourself. Make sure you lay out the plans and choices like whether you want a peaceful divorce or want to punish your spouse in court? If you choose the option of peaceful divorce, you’ll need to make sure you and your spouse take part in Orange County divorce mediation. Divorce mediation is a communicative, divorce resolution method which saves the spouses from the fatigue of fighting it out in court.
Think Before You Take An Action
How important are your children for you? Do you think they deserve the love of both parents? Can you see them get scared for life after seeing the battle between their parents? Children are an important asset in divorces. Thinking about all the pros and cons of both types of divorce mediation and divorce litigation methods will help you do what’s best in your and your family’s interest. Divorce litigation may allow you to have better chance to inflict a larger amount of pain on the other spouse, but if you are looking for a peaceful divorce, it is best to go with mediation.
Divorce mediation is all about couples and subjects such as children that are mutually important to both and can be dealt with flexibly, as opposed to what would happen in the process of litigation.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Do you want to get your child custody and support agreements made? Are you looking for an attorney to litigate it for you? Before you do that though, consider getting the services of a divorce mediator. A large number of parents who tend to go to litigation are left wanting and disappointed at the child custody and support orders that courts give. The best way to avoid this feeling of ‘what if’ or ‘it could have been better than this’ is for the parents to erase the court out of the picture and do it themselves.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
