Tips On How To Move On After Infidelity

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsA spouse may go through great mental by social agony when they find about the illicit relationship of their partner. In fact, they may constantly think about it till their heads stagger. However, these people need to understand that most of the times their spouses may not depend that kind of energy and they just do not care.  It is better not to dwell too much into their acts of infidelity.

Try to come to terms with your emotions

Although every case is a unique one, you can definitely do certain things to reduce your pain. Your roller coaster ride of emotions suddenly begins once you get to know about your spouse’s betrayal. It is natural for you to go through several emotions like fear, a sense of deep loss, great fury and disillusionment. You should try to realize that going crazy will not be of any use. After all, there are many other people who have gone through the same kind of confusion and mental agony but have managed to survive. So, you should never forget that you are not the only person to suffer. Follow these easy tips to help you move on in life after you face betrayal from your spouse.

It is important for you to channelize your frustration and anger

You need to take the help of a good therapist or coach who has specialization in divorce related cases. They will listen to you describing the incident f your spouse cheating on you and then guide you to move ahead in life. A good therapist will also help you to make sure that you get the right perspective and make you realize that you still have an opportunity to lead a happy life and you are not to be blamed for the faults of your spouses. They are adults and made their own decisions. You should never own their decisions and feel bad about it.

Keep yourself thoroughly engaged with messages all through the day so that you feel better

When you indulge in self-pity and try to stay as a recluse, it is impossible to start a new life and stay positive. While no one is arguing that self-pity is normal in the beginning, you should let yourself be angry and hurt only for some time. However, you need to soon make a conscious effort to pick yourself up, and get in touch with your counselor or therapist. It is the ripe time to promise yourself to start a new journey in your life.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Mediation Tips for Same-Sex Couples

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Gay marriage and domestic partnership attorneys in Los Angeles Orange County California; California Divorce AttorneysMediators have increasingly become important in divorces and often play a vital role in determining the outcome of divorce. In some cases, mediators are successful at stopping a bad divorce from taking place.

As a mediator, you need to keep certain points in mind before you can proceed with a mediation for same-sex couples.

Keep things in perspective

It is a serious matter but don’t make it so serious that the couple feel that a divorce is the end of the road for them.  Keep things in perspective.  Allow them to focus on important issues and be calm about it.

Try to save the marriage first

Most of the time, you will try to sort out the differences between the two individuals. However, in case of same-sex couples, try to save the marriage if there is a possibility to do so. Tell your clients the pros and cons of getting a divorce and help them decide the best course of action.

Be sensitive about what you say

How you talk with heterosexual clients may not work for same-sex couples. Try understanding their psyche and look at things from their point of view.

Conclusion

Same-sex marriages like heterosexual marriages are prone to divorces too. It is difficult for same-sex couples to split because finding a partner is not easy for them. Once they find someone who they are comfortable with, they try staying with the same person for the rest of their life. However, problems can arise anytime and sometime they lead to divorce. Divorce mediation for such individual is a bit different than regular mediation process. The sensitivity meter is higher and mediators should know what they are talking about. Also, same-sex couples prefer options for saving their marriage rather than learning about the best way to do a divorce.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Behind the veil of how California family law courts function

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators in California; California Divorce Mediators;Forget all renditions of courtroom dramas as seen on television or in the movies, the real courtroom where everyday cases are heard by judges runs very differently. Devoid of all glamour and romance, family court is not what you would expect, if going by what you’ve seen on TV.

Here’s a more appropriate view of what to expect if you do find yourself in a California Family Law Court.

Tight Security Checks

Like all Government institutions, court houses are firm on security checks. Before entering you will be subjected to a thorough screening. Beginning with a walk through metal detector screener, keep a check of all metal items you might be carrying on your person. You will need to keep all metal aside, including objects like belts, keys, phone, pocket change etc.

Arrive well before your scheduled appointment and leave unnecessary objects in your car, before entering if you’re running late. It might take you a while before you clear security and can then carry on to find the room in which your case will he heard.

Public Hearings

You might be surprised to learn that your case won’t be the only one on the docket that day. Prepare yourself for a whole bunch of strangers listening in on your case. Additionally, it might take some time before the judge calls on your case to be heard, following the progression of cases before yours.

Public hearings have positives too, you can ask friends or family to join you in the audience. Keep in mind to ask only those family and friends who are an important part of your support system.

Look for Signs

Every morning, each courtroom will provide a list of cases they are to hear that day on a sign outside their doors. Read all lists to check if your case is listed to be heard in that particular room. When inside the room, look for which side you should be sitting on either the respondent or petitioner’s side, this makes things easier when your case is called to be heard.

Additionally make it a point to adhere to courtroom decorum and follow required etiquette, also listed on signs in the room.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Circumstances When Virtual Divorce Mediation Makes Sense

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Virtual divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsAs technology keeps expanding its base, more and more avenues open up where technology plays a crucial role. For communication purposes, technology has become absolutely necessary. One of the new areas where technology has made its presence felt is divorce mediation. Divorces have become a common affair in the U.S. as more and more couples head for a divorce instead of staying in a bad marriage. Therefore, the job of a divorce mediator has become increasingly important and mediators are now looking for newer ways to connect with clients.

Virtual divorce mediation is mediation done through an electronic mode. It mainly takes place through video chat and other visual communication tools where clients and mediators interact with each other.

How it differs from regular mediation process

In a regular mediation process, the mediator sits with both parents and decides how the marriage can be saved or if it cannot be saved then how the divorce should take place. Over the last few years, mediation has become an important factor in divorce and many couples have even saved their marriage from unnecessary damage. A virtual divorce is the same except here, the clients and the mediator interact through an electronic medium. Even interacting through phone can be a part of virtual mediation.

When is it used?

A virtual mediation is best when the client is away from home but still needs to go through the divorce proceedings. It’s good for people who stay out-of-state for long periods of time. Also, it works well when both spouses are away from each other and the mediator needs to interact with both of them. A digital mediation process will help bridge the communication gap between both parties. It also works when the interaction involves children. Kids have become used to technology and therefore, it becomes easy for them to interact with someone through an electronic medium.

Conclusion

Mediation processes are important for settling disputes between couples who are heading for a divorce. Since the number of divorces are increasing day by day, it is becoming important for mediators to keep up communication with their clients. And one of the best ways to do so is through a digital media. Video chats can be done from almost anywhere and it helps mediators and clients communicate effectively with each other. Virtual mediation is therefore the latest communication tool for mediators of the 21st Century.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Doing Your Homework Before Mediation Increases Likelihood of Success

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation attorneys Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsWhile divorces and legal separation are commonplace these days even after years of togetherness, it is important to ensure that the process is carried out smoothly without further hatred and ill feelings towards one another. Today, many couples decide to embrace mediation for sorting their marital issues in a civilized way while parting so that they can save their money and have no misgivings. Such goals are easier to fulfill when both parties are ready to opt for a mediation while their divorce is underway.  Check out how you can do your homework prior to mediation so that the possibility of getting success is higher.

1. Emotional preparedness
While it may be an obvious one but there are occasions when people cannot keep their emotions under control while discussing about their finances, marriage or children. You should understand that mediators will not be surprised when they find frustration, fury or tears from both sides. There are some people who may have been concealing their true feelings until now and are stunned to see them coming out in the open. When such emotions surface before others, mediation can get stifled. But you should not let your feelings prevent a fruitful mediation. It is important to take a deep breath and gather your emotions and thoughts. You may even request a brief respite.

2. Preparedness with figures
When you want to opt for a mediation for discussing finances, income and properties, a thorough preparedness becomes a necessity. If you want to adopt a number you feel is accurate such as the worth of your marital house, attend the mediation session with the relevant documentation to establish your viewpoint and facilitate the progress of mediation in a smooth manner. Many spouses are known to feel comfortable and relaxed while arriving at an agreement related to finances when they are confident about their figures. Thus, a discussion on proper calculations backed by concrete figures can make the mediation process an effective one.

3. Be prepared to listen more
While it may sound cliche and immature, the framework for any fruitful mediation is to listen to the words of the other party carefully while the mediation is going on. When you listen patiently and prepare your responses carefully. your mediation can be more productive.

Professional Orange County divorce mediators are available to facilitate, assist and guide their clients so that both the parties can have a highly productive discussion and reach an agreement at the end. When both parties are willing to work together and are emotionally and literally prepared for it, the likelihood of a successful and effective divorce mediation can go up significantly.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Understanding Uncontested Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsUncontested divorce means the spouses agrees on all major issues linked with getting divorced. These issues include the sharing of parenting responsibilities and also parenting time. The duration of child support and the amount of money must be taken into account. Property division and debt division must also be included.

In case the couple can reach an agreement, they can file paperwork sans any court appearance. The divorce will be final as soon as required period of time as per California law has elapsed. It is to be noted that not all uncontested divorce proceedings are the same. These kind of divorces may also run into choppy weather.  The simplest process happens when no minor children are with the couple and assets are minimal. The proceedings will go fast if each of the spouses are financially independent or capable to support himself or herself by independent means.

If substantial assets or minor children are present

Couples with substantial assets or minor children will be able to move through any uncontested divorce on the proviso that they can agree on all major issues. A few minor disagreements will not derail an uncontested divorce. Negotiation, however, must occur between the two until a complete agreement was reached.  A good communication between the spouses will assist in direct negotiations. In case this cannot be the option, the couple can approach a mediator. The professional can then assist in resolving the disagreements. Negotiation may also be done through attorneys. The last option will ratchet up expenses.

Attorneys and uncontested divorce

At attorney may not need to be hired if the couple concerned was not married for a long time. There is no minor children which needs caring. Assets are also too few to be divided. If a complex situation persists, then it makes a wise move to hire an attorney.

Advantages associated with uncontested divorce

The biggest advantage without hiring an attorney is cost. These kind of divorces are considerably cheaper compared to contested divorces. Any uncontested divorce could be completed by paying court filing fees. Even when there are attorneys involved in preparing the paperwork or assisting with the limited negotiations, these fees could be kept much low if that couple can able to arrive at an agreement without taking legal recourse to any court proceedings. Another advantage of uncontested divorce that it can be done out of court. Conflicts are kept to a minimum and recovery time is sped up.

Top Myths About California Premarital Agreements

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Prenuptial agreements Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsOne of the most important things couples need to discuss before getting married is whether they should opt for a premarital or prenuptial agreement (prenup). Almost everyone around you will have some views or the other regarding prenups. Prenups have often been misunderstood and many believe that it means something bad, potentially encouraging or mentally preparing for a divorce before a couple is even married. Below is a list of prenup myths that have been debunked and you’ll find that the agreement is not as bad as it sounds.

Prenups are the reason for divorce

You must have often heard divorcees say that one of the reasons for their divorce was prenups. It is believed that prenups destroy a relationship because it indicates that the one making the agreement is interested in money more than anything else. Although true that prenups are used for protecting financial assets, it is also true that prenups help build a solid foundation for relationships. Couples should be aware of their individual financial standings and should discuss future financial plans with their partners.

Prenups are only used during failed marriages

Another myth regarding prenuptial agreements is that they can only be used when the relationship does not work out. Prenups are useful financial planning tools and help couples determine a good estate plan to save themselves from future financial damage.

Prenups are for gray couples

Contrary to popular belief, prenups are as much for younger couples as they are for older ones. As a matter of fact, young couples should make it a point to sign prenup agreements because it saves future assets for unfair divisions. Nobody knows how much wealth one will accrue over a period of time but it is important to protect financial assets nonetheless.

Prenups are expensive

Compared to your wedding costs, prenups are a bargain. Prenups are protection agreements and are only used when needed. It’s a one-time cost and very helpful in protecting finances.

Prenups are only for the rich

Since prenups are used to protect finances, many people have made it look like they are used only by rich individuals who feel their finances need to be protected. Although true to a certain extent, it is also true that prenups can be used by average earners too. Since prenups protect wealth accumulated during the marriage, it becomes helpful when an average person becomes rich later on in life.

Conclusion

Prenuptial agreements are full of myths and understand the reality should be a matter of priority for married couples. A prenup is a useful tool and can be used for a variety of purposes.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Top Parenting Suggestions After Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Father's Rights attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsWhen you are planning to get a divorce or going through a divorce, a key area of concern should be how your kids may get impacted by your divorce. Several studies have shown that divorce can have a negative impact on their children. So, it is hardly surprising that parents are bothered about the welfare of their children when they plan to get divorced. How your children may be affected by your divorce depend on the method of parenting that you select. While your children may be negatively impacted by the divorce, there are several ways to avoid such impact.

Behave maturely with your spouse in front of the kids

The manner in which you and the other parent behave with each other while your divorce is underway or after it has been finalized will determine how your children get affected by your decision. When kids see their parents at loggerheads during or even after the divorce they get a feeling that they have also become a part of such conflict.

Children should not be dragged into conflicts

Hence, when you do not want your children to be harmed by your divorce, it is your responsibility to ensure that they are not dragged into the conflicts between you and their other parent. Some parents have a feeling that tensions in a divorce cannot be avoided but irrespective of what their feelings are, it is necessary to take positive steps so that your children do not feel harassed and are not stuck in between two hostile parents. Here are some simple parenting methods after your divorce comes through.

Abstain from doing the following:

  • Do not use your kids as messengers or to seek information about your ex’s social activities, dating life, and home.
  • Trying to get the favor of your child so that the other parent is punished.
  • Utter negative remarks about your ex in front of your children.
  • Discussing financial issues with your children. These matters could be pertaining to a delayed check of child support; adult financial issues no fund to pay your rent and so on.
  • Share fault problems about you and your former spouse with the kids. These may include topics like the reasons why you got a divorce, infidelity or details about the divorce proceedings.
  • Your marriage comes to an end after the divorce comes through. However, that does mean your responsibility also as a parent also ceases. A key responsibility is to establish a positive relationship with your ex for effective co-parenting.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Ways of Trying to Save Your Marriage

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

mediator divorce orange county; California Divorce MediatorsThere are very few couples who like the prospect of getting divorced. After all, when a marriage ends, it is tough for the concerned couple and also for their other family members. Sadly though, for some couples, there is no other choice apart from getting divorced. When such a situation occurs, both the partners may be under stress, saddened and disillusioned. It is natural for some spouses to realize at this juncture that they should save their marriages at all cost. In fact, it is not an unusual reaction. Though situation like this may appear hopeless, it is still possible to save some marriages. Read on how it is not an impossible task to save a marriage even while a divorce appears imminent.

Both the parties need to be vulnerable 

The spouses must be vulnerable in order to save their marriage and enjoy a blissful life. When spouses start expressing and being vocal about their inner feelings once again, their hearts are bound to open. Both the parties are reserved and furious with each other when a divorce appears to be imminent. Instead of behaving in this fashion, couples should express their emotions positively. Such an act can avert the possibility of a divorce as they help in doing away with emotional disconnect if any while expressing their love and forgiveness towards one another. There is ample evidence where marriages are found to be crumbling down when couples start being guarded towards each other. So, try to be vulnerable so that sharing your feelings become simpler and romance is back in your marriage once again.

Try to find out what went wrong by entering into discussion mode 

It takes a good deal of effort to stop a divorce, which seems imminent. Both the spouses need to work continuously on their strained relationship so that it gets improved and the marriage can be saved. Both the parties should try their best to eliminate any kind of hostility to reach such a point. An easy way to accomplish that is to identify what went wrong in their marriage. When couples attend professional counseling sessions, they can have these tough discussions in an unbiased and productive manner. It is important to remember that the couple should adopt the right attitude so that contentious issues can get resolved in an amicable manner and their marriage can be saved.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

How Long Before You Can Receive Spousal Support In A California Divorce?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County spousal support; California Divorce MediatorsThis is a point that concerns many couples who are facing divorce proceedings in the State of California. The answer to how long you must wait for spousal support depends on understanding the distinction between temporary and permanent spousal support orders.

Extending the divorce petition

The divorce process in California starts with the serving of the petition. The spousal support request can be filed at the same time as the petition. The court generally issues a hearing date between 30 to 90 days of presenting the request. In some of the California counties, the parties presenting the petition can reserve a date in advance. In the rest of the counties, the clerk assigns a date that is available. The wait time until the requesting parties receive the hearing date depends on the family law judge, to whom the case is assigned. If the judge is busy, it might take longer than usual.

Once a hearing date is assigned and is served, the other spouse files and serves a declaration and finally the matter proceeds to the hearing. Spouses have the option of settling the spousal support matters before the hearing and also at the hearing.

Spousal support on temporary basis

This kind of support means the support that is extend by the spouse while the divorce proceedings are on and before it comes to an end. The spousal support request can be presented in the form of request to order, as mentioned earlier in the article. It is a pretty straightforward process and can be carried out along with the divorce proceedings.

Spousal support by judgment (permanent support)

Spousal support by judgment is not as straightforward as the support on temporary basis. It generally is a result of:

  • A settlement
  • A divorce trial

The settlement usually results in a stipulated judgment. If the support is contested and is moved to trial then the judge decides on the amount and the duration for which the spousal support is to be extended. The time taken to reach this judgment depends on:

  • The duration of marriage
  • Disputes regarding the finances of the spouse, or cases such as unemployment of spouse in which case it has to be decided if the other spouse should have their income attributed to the unemployed spouse
  • The standard of living of the couple, during the duration of their marriage
  • Other issues that can cause the divorce to take longer to wind up

In case of fewer disputes or no disputes at all, divorce proceedings can be concluded in less than six months. Otherwise, it may even take more than a year.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation