What Happens When Your Former Spouse Files For Bankruptcy?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsWhen you go through a divorce, it can be both financially as well as emotionally painful. Moreover, if your former spouse suddenly files for bankruptcy, things can be even more stressful for you as there is a possibility that your financial stability can get greatly affected.  Divorce, as well as bankruptcy, may have a great impact on your financial position in various ways based on the new circumstances of your ex-spouse. Check out some of the important things that you can consider while going through a bankruptcy and a divorce.

Cosigned or joint credit liabilities

When your former spouse files for bankruptcy, the responsibility for any debt falls on you in case you are a cosigner or a joint owner. The lender may hold you accountable as a cosigner or a joint owner to pay for a loan when your ex-spouse declares that he/ she is bankrupt and is unable to make the due payment.

Though it is unfortunate but the creditors are least concerned about the statements mentioned in your divorce agreement. So, your liability to pay the debt still exists when your former spouse fails to make the payment. A divorce payment does not remove your accountability to pay; it only indicates that you can compel someone else to do so. So you should be ready to pay the debt in case your former husband or wife is discharged from the need to pay off the loan or stops paying due to the bankruptcy. In such a scenario, you should immediately get in touch with your divorce lawyer and discuss what legal options are available for you.

Child support and alimony

Expenses for child support and alimony should be paid prior to paying the other creditors as well as taxes. However, though your alimony cannot be discharged, it does not mean that you will continue receiving the same amount before your former spouse fee pared bankruptcy.  In a majority of the States, the obligations for alimony can be revised when the ex-spouse submits his or her request to a bankruptcy court. It is up to the bankruptcy court to decide a revised amount for the alimony or enter into a new agreement with you after the petition filed by your former spouse.

But there are a few rare situations when alimony may be also discharged. Thus, in order to be on the safer side, it is better to consult your divorce attorney to make sure that your support payments or alimony remain protected.

Impact on your credit report

Though your ex-spouse filed for bankruptcy, your credit score may not get affected directly. The reason for this so your credit score is considered to be distinct and separate from your former spouse.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Common Co-Parenting Issues after Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediators in Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsIf parents are able to co-parent in a civil manner, children can be relaxed and normal even after their parent’s divorce. Though you may love your kids the most, there could be certain scenarios where it is tough to give a preference to their best interests over the fury and disillusionment you feel towards your former spouse or over the divorce. Your children will be able to cope up well with your divorce when you and your former husband or wife can co-parent in a matured manner after the divorce has been finalized. There is a tendency in many married couples to follow the lead of each other as far as the matter of parenting is concerned. While your marriage may have come to an end and your former spouse may not be important to you anymore, you may still have to parent together for the best interests of your children. Check out some of the common co-parenting issues that may divorce couple face before them:

You are worried about your kid when he or she is in the custody of the other parent

If your ex-husband or wife does not have a background of abusing the kids or you, you should not feel scared or apprehensive about what is happening when the children are in their custody There are moms who demand a detailed schedule of each and every move that will be made by their child when they are in their father’s custody.

Both of you have distinct parenting styles

A father can be laid back while it is an issue of parenting at times. When the children are at his place, kids are not taking a bath every day, going to bed late and are not doing their homework regularly. Moreover, they are having junk food almost every other day. On the other hand, at times the mom is too strict with the daily routines and kids are feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the discipline. It could be possible that both the mother and the father are adamant that their parenting style is better than their partner.

Your former spouse use your kids to hurt you

The kids should not be used as pawns by one parent against the other. Though it may sound surprising, it can happen on several occasions. When you realize that your children want to spend more time with the father but you refuse to let them do so, you are not thinking about your kids but want to hurt the father by resisting to your children’s desires.

To learn more about the Orange County divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Can An Orange County Divorce Destroy Your Retirement?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediators; California Divorce MediatorsWhen you have finally made up your mind to get a divorce, it is likely that you may not think too much about how it can have an impact on your retirement. However, it is an extremely valid matter to think about. Insured Retirement Institute conducted a study which observed that about 24 percent of the divorced couples who are born after World War II felt their condition will deteriorate after retirement because of the divorce. About 23 percent of the respondents mentioned that they must work for longer years to combat the hardship. Thus, it signifies that you need to take certain measures for protecting your retirement plans. Additionally, it is better to do so as quickly as possible. After all, the financial impact of a divorce can actually last for many decades. Check out some ways to ensure that your retirement dreams are on a proper track irrespective of your divorce.

Retirement and divorce

Although your divorce could be taking place many decades before your retirement date, it is likely that your retirement savings may be badly affected. First of all, a divorce would typically mean that your retirement funds could be split between your former spouse and you. As a result, you may find a substantial reduction in your retirement savings. Secondly, a divorce also signifies that soon it will be a single income household albeit temporarily. Thus, it is possible what you would be able to save quite less for your post-retirement years as compared to what you had initially anticipated or planned.

Divorce and your retirement savings

Local as well as state laws ascertain the manner in which your retirement savings will be split between your former spouse and you. In case you are residing in one of the community property states, any assets acquired by your spouse or you during the course of your marriage are regarded as joint property irrespective of who saved the money. California is also an example of a community property state along with other States like Washington, Texas, Arizona, Louisiana, Wisconsin, Idaho and New Mexico.

The most certain technique to ensure that your retirement savings are protected is to enter into a prenuptial agreement, which specifies which party will get the exact percentage of the saving in the accounts in the event of a marriage breakup. In case, you have not set up a prenup, you should negotiate with your former spouse and come up with an agreement that will benefit you both. You can hire one of the reputable Orange County divorce mediators at California Divorce Mediators to help you in the process.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Divorcing When You Have Adult Children

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsThere are many couples who are going through a high-conflict marriage. But since these couples have children from their marriage, they sometimes wait until their children grow up and leave home for college to separate or divorce. A term called “The Freshman Call” has originated from this practice that further goes on to prove how popular such a phenomenon is these days. It is true that while parents opt for a divorce and kids are involved, the major impact is typically on these young children. But when couples with adult children plan to divorce, the latter can be deeply affected too.

On several occasions, these parents are not quite prepared for the violent and powerful reactions they get from their adult children who are studying in colleges. In fact, these kids may face a host of issues when their parents make up their minds to part ways.

Handling feelings of guilt while separating with adult children

On one hand, younger children may feel concerned that they are responsible for the divorce of their parents while on the other hand, college-going children frequently feel guilty that their contribution was insufficient to stop the breakup of their parents’ marriage. Such emotions are likely to prevail even though the children know that their parents had a troubled marriage from the beginning.

Though several college going children do have the necessary insight and maturity to understand that their parents’ marriage is not a happy one, they may still be slightly taken aback when they get to know about the divorce news of their parents. It can also take a toll on their mental and physical well being. Plus, some adult children may start having apprehensions about the fate of their own romantic relationships. They may become pessimistic about relationships in general after their parents’ divorce.

Plan your conversation with your adult children while divorcing

Restrain yourself from calling your children at college and do not discuss such details when they are away on vacations. Instead, wait for an opportunity when they are at home for some days. It is the ideal opportunity for all of you to sit, relax and discuss the matter. You should understand that your divorce decision can be upsetting for them. It is also important to concentrate on your children rather than giving more focus on the reasons for which you are getting a divorce.

Encourage your adult children to maintain harmonious relationship with both the parents

Since your children are now grown-ups, there will be no orders from the court for a specific parenting time or schedule now. But let your adult child know that they should try to maintain a cordial relationship with both the parents even after the divorce comes through.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

3 Mistakes to Avoid While Dating After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsAre you planning to forget your past after your divorce and start dating? However, it may not be that easy to do so especially if you had been married for several years to your former spouse. Sometimes, it could be as complicated as finding your way in a market while there is a blindfold on your eyes. When you get divorced from your partner, you could feel extremely lonely after sharing your house and life with someone for so many years. It is natural to seek companionship and feel wanted in such crucial times. But this also makes people more vulnerable and many of them tend to make certain mistakes when they start dating. Eventually, that results in more self-doubt, loneliness and another sour relationship. Many people commit these mistakes that also affect their health and they fail to find lasting love in their lives, love, and attachment when your new partner is crazily attracted to you. Here are some of those common mistakes that you might make while dating after your marriage.

Getting too attached 

It is not possible to judge how the person is on your very second or third date. Stop ignoring the flaws of that person just because you feel a deep need within yourself to get attached to a new person too soon. When you feel that there are certain key challenges in your new relationship, it makes sense not to make excuses only because you are scared of being alone. The love and devotion you feel should not be showered too easily, the new person should try to earn them and that definitely cannot happen overnight.

Not focusing on what you need NOW

Many people make the mistake of striving for instant gratification. They overlook the importance of the long-term advantages of dating a new person and tend to go for instant gratification of their current relationship needs. Moreover, if they find that those needs are not being fulfilled, they try out the same with someone else as a quick fix. When you are madly looking for a new love and want to find a perfect partner the second time around, you can get into serial dating if not careful and eventually might end up being with a wrong person in your life.

Becoming docile and submissive

When you start saying again after your divorce, make sure that you do not give away your power. This may happen when you give a higher priority to the desires and needs of the person you are dating above your own.  When you have a strong urge to fall in love once more, chances of becoming passive is not uncommon, particularly when you meet someone who you start liking.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

What NOT To Do During Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsIt makes a great deal of sense to do the right things while your divorce is going on. But what about those things that you are not supposed to do during your divorce? There are many divorce lawyers who claim that they have come across divorcing clients who tend to concentrate more on what should be done and overlook all such things that they should not do, which are equally important.

Stop behaving badly

Just because you are undergoing a divorce does not mean that you have to be rude and behave badly with your estranged spouse. Do not indulge in any such acts prior to, during the divorce and after your divorce comes through, which will have a bad reflection on you.

You should not dismiss the needs of your ex

While you may not want to stay married to your wife or husband anymore, it does not necessarily signify that you should overlook their requirements. After all, you are not the only party in your divorce. The basic legal idea beyond any divorce is to get a marriage dissolved and not making your husband/wife destitute. So when you consider their needs and be fair, it will have a positive impact on your divorce process so that it does not turn into a bitter war.

Try not to be rigid

When you negotiate your divorce settlement or determine crucial issues such as child custody, you should not be unwilling to compromise. People opt for a divorce knowing full well that they require. But everyone cannot get all they had desired for. When you are inflexible while negotiations are going on, there is a possibility that you end up getting much less than what could have been otherwise negotiated. For instance, though the guidelines lay down by the state determines matters related to child support, it does not necessarily signify that a judge will raise an objection to an agreement signed by both you and former spouse. The way your settlement gets handled will be ascertained by the degree of flexibility shown by you and your former partner and the issues applicable in your specific case.

Do not be extravagant

Your divorce can be a costly affair. So you need to have a proper financial plan and begin saving for your future. The money you tend to spend unnecessarily every month should be put away in your bank account. In case your divorce turns out to be a long legal process, this money can then be used to meet the expenses. Once you have filed for the divorced, avoid going out on costly shopping sprees and spend your marital assets. When you start spending recklessly, the orders of the judge could make you return those assets.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Symptoms Your Kids Are Being Affected By Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county custody mediation; California Divorce MediatorsDivorce triggers both kids as well as adults to make several adjustments and face tough challenges. However, there is a difference in how each child responds to their parent’s divorce. While a majority of them will handle these challenges with maturity and sensibility and grow up into well-adjusted adults, there are some kids who go through behavioral and emotional difficulties when their parents go through a divorce. And though there are differences in the long-term reaction in a child to the divorce of their parents, many kids may go through emotional distress and emotions like conflicts, confusion, guilt, fury, anxiety, and sadness in the short-term. Such emotions pop up when there is a question of loyalty towards their parents and a strong desire to spend more time with their absent parent.

When you notice the following symptoms of distress with your child, you need to take appropriate action such as taking them to a therapist so that they can overcome their emotional problems related to the divorce.

Drastic change in academic performance

Do you find your kid is showing dismal performance in the tests? Is he losing interest in his school activities? This could be a telltale sign that he is emotionally disturbed.

Refuses to spend time with his/her parent

When there is no issue of child abuse in a family and yet a kid shows an unwillingness to spend their time with the parent, it can be a symptom that the kid feels the requirement of taking sides. A child should not feel that they are forcefully put in a situation where they have to select one parent over their other.

Increase in certain type of physical complaints

When you find them complaining about their physical conditions such as stomach aches or headaches quite often, it may mean that they are going through a tough time to come up with the divorce of their parents.  Allergy, stomachaches, and headaches are some of the most common symptoms that your kid is going through an emotional distress.

Prolonged and significant change in the behavior

You have always known that your child to be extremely polite bit you may find them being inconsiderate all of a sudden when your divorce case is going on. Your outgoing, gregarious and talkative kid can express less interest in social activities and friends.

Does not show keenness to engage in family, school, athletic or social activities

This is another important symptom that your children are clinically depressed as a result of your divorce from your spouse.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Reconciling With Your Ex-Spouse After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorney; California Divorce MediatorsYou had tried your best in the past but you and your ex-spouse have had constant bickering and could not make your marriage best. But, then you met one another once again and now you are pleasantly surprised to find that you share the same chemistry even now.  Should you ever consider the prospect of marrying your former spouse once again? Will such relationships work?  Just with all the marriages, the reply to this question lies on what both the partners are prepared to do so that the relationship can work in the long-term.

Statistics related to restored marriages

It is somewhat surprising to note the statistics in regard to the “do-over” marriages when both the former spouses marry one another once again. According to the statistics published by Psychology Today seem to claim that about 67 percent of marriages done for the second time and 73 percent of the marriages done end in divorce. However, the figures appear to be a bit encouraging for all such people who end up remarrying their spouses.

According to the research done by Dr. Nancy Kalish, about 72 percent of the reunited couples stayed together. Her research was on its first leg in 1996 when about 1,000 respondents participated in her survey, which led to this conclusion.

Key reasons why people want to marry their former spouses once again

There are a number of reasons why ex-spouses decide to reunite once again though their marriages failed in the past. Moreover, every remarriage can involve one or multiple impetuses for revival. Here are some of the reasons people remarry their ex-spouses once again.

After they stay apart, they realize their partner’s importance

As they say often distance makes the hearts grow fonder. Many couples realize their partners’ importance in their lives only after they divorced each other. Even while they were separated, the couple did mot feel that they were disconnected from one another.

Anger may disappear after they get time for reflection

When you take some time out to ponder about your relationship, feelings may undergo changes. After some time, the negative emotions you harbored may not be as powerful and intense as they were while you were still married to your partner. You may even find that you were also responsible for the breakup of the marriage to some extent. When you learn to acknowledge that you could have handled things better then, it is a good starting point to reconcile and start cementing the relationship with your ex-spouse.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

What To Consider When Deciding Between Separation And Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsWhen you are considering whether to end your marriage or not, you may be in a dilemma. You are uncertain about whether to legally separate from your spouse or whether you want to file for a divorce. Here are some of the things to consider while contemplating between divorce and separation.

Separation does not terminate a marriage but divorce does

You should consider your marriage as a partnership where both the partners share their liabilities as well as assets while the marriage continues. In many states, the general thumb rule is that the marriage is intact even when the parties get separated. Additionally, the financial benefits will also continue. For instance, even if the spouses are legally separated for many years, they continue to share their investment growth, 401Ks, IRAs and other assets if any.

Legal separation can be accomplished through a separation agreement

The agreement may be used for setting the grounds for a settlement in the event of a separation getting culminated into a divorce. The agreement can constitute of issues such as property split, arrangements of child support and other pertinent matter although the parties remain legally married. However, you should be cautious about the legal enforceability of such an agreement since the laws may not be same in all the states. To know the exact details, you can consult a local lawyer to get the exact knowledge on this matter.

Are you trying to cement your relationship during your separation and not given up hopes yet?

You may be dating a new person while you are legally separated. However, you need to realize that it is really tough to proceed in a fresh relationship since you are married even while you are separated from your husband or wife.

Most separations are known to end in divorces

Statistics reveal that in most scenarios a legal separation often ends up in getting divorced. When there are conflicts in a marriage, it is always advisable to go for marriage counseling or see a therapist so that the spouses can work towards keeping their marriages intact and resolve their conflicts. But going for a legal separation may make such task a difficult one.

Duration of your legal separation

How long are you and your spouse planning to be legally separated? So, even a trial separation can drag for several years. As a result, none of the parties feel an urge to cement the marriage or finalize their divorce.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

How To Choose The Best Divorce Mediator

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation attorney in orange county; California Divorce MediationSelecting the best divorce mediator should be the first important agreement that should be made jointly by the divorcing spouses right at the start of their divorce mediation process. Thus, it is one of the most crucial decisions for both the spouses to make during the course of their divorce.  Several factors should be taken into account while selecting the best Orange County divorce mediator. Read on to know some of the essential qualities in a mediator you and your estranged spouse should look for prior to taking the final call.

1. Should be educated in mediation as well as dispute resolution
Make sure that the divorce mediator you are choosing has the essential education for resolving disputes and mediation training. When a person is pursuing yearly training on mediation and is educated in resolving disputes, they can serve your purpose well while the negotiation process is on.

2. He or she should be specialized in family mediation matters
You need to confirm that the practice area of the said mediator is solely dedicated towards family and divorce mediation. When you choose a proficient family mediator, they are highly skilled because of their domain knowledge in practicing divorce mediation. A good divorce mediator should have the necessary expertise and a specialized skill set with necessary knowledge to help you as well as the other party through divorce. When you choose a professional whose primary focus area is not divorce mediation, you may not get the kind of help you are expecting to resolve your divorce issues. You should directly query them to find out how much percentage do family and divorce mediation constitute out of their entire practice experience. Typically, this should be one hundred percent. But a majority percentage is a good sign too.

3. Trust factor is highly crucial
Select a divorce mediator that you can trust wholeheartedly. It is perhaps the most critical aspect to consider while selecting your divorce mediator. You should be able to trust them for guiding you through the entire process. After all, there could be a high degree of emotions while the mediation is going on. Plus, when there are kids in your marriage, greater considerations should be made while discussing their future. Hence, your divorce mediator should be a person with whose you can always be at ease both as a professional as well as an individual.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation