Although you could be the one you initiated your divorce process, it may still take a toll on you. It is quite a costly process and there is hardly anyone who emerges as a winner in a divorce? Costs can get multiplied when a single household splits into two. But rational and logical thoughts, proper planning and education may be helpful in lowering the financial impact. Check out the following suggestions that can come handy for keeping your costs in check during the divorce.
Try to stay out of a court as far as possible
A litigated divorce can be quite an expensive affair. In fact, it may even deplete the marital assets of a couple who are about to end their marriage. Collaborative or mediation divorce can save both money and time and also help in completing the procedure in a proper manner. When these approaches are adopted, it is easy to agree on common grounds so that a mutually satisfactory agreement between the couple can be reached. When both the parties are flexible and can come out with solutions to sort out their issues, there could be a cooperative association between the former spouses in the future. Hence the parties can proceed with fewer possibilities of conflict and stress, particularly when kids are involved in a marriage.
You can secure professional help to get a feel of your financial situation
Splitting natural properties and financial issues can be extremely time consuming and complicated aspects while a couple gets divorced. Expenses can shoot up drastically as a consequence. It is recommended to hire an experienced attorney as they have the necessary expertise and experience on similar legal matters. The only point you need to take care us about hiring an attorney with specialized knowledge of handling with complex financial matters.
Increase communication and reduce conflicts
You need to realize that when you fight more, your divorce proceeding could get more complicated, It in turn will make the overall process more expensive. Make sure that the attorney hired by your spouse or your attorney does not try to encourage conflict between the two of you. You need to think rationally so that you can continue to communicate freely with your estranged spouse. When you adopt a flexible approach and are ready to negotiate, you can actually save thousands of bucks. There is hardly any merit to try taking revenge on your former spouse or extract vengeance for their supposed bad behavior. The culmination of the distribution of your marital property should be accomplished in a manner that is equitable and just for both the parties involved.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
There are some men who take a deep sigh of relief once their divorce comes through. However, for most men, it can be a shattering experience, which can impact their lives in a negative way. There is no doubt that divorce is not a child’s play. Plus the effects of divorce on men should not be taken light-heartedly. In fact, there are some men who start living a life of pain and suffering after separating from their wives. In case you are one of them, here are some top tips that can help you in coping with your divorce.
Stay away from drugs and alcohol since they are not the right way to handle your divorce
Many men commit this dumb mistake post divorce. In fact, they feel that drugs and drinking can help them to forget all about their past and enable them to come out of this crisis. However, abuse of drugs and alcohol is one of the big mistakes men can think of after their divorce is finalized.
Divorced men should avoid further conflict and stress with former spouses
You and your estranged spouse can have different viewpoints and opinions. However, when both of you tend to engage in conflicting situations, it can be counter-productive for both of you. Such emotional banters and bickering can be obstacles to move on with your life and bring more anger and misery.
Start altering your life as soon as possible
Once your divorce comes through, it is time to make a self-commitment to start altering your life. You can take small steps for accomplishing this by taking good care of your soul, mind and physical well being. To begin with your body should be more active so that there is positivity and energy in you. Secondly, you should try to cleanse your mind from self-destructive and negative emotions. Finally, you need to do some serious soul searching too.
Check out some activities that you may consider:
Go to a good hair salon and get a stylish haircut. You are beginning a new life and it can be a good start.
Try to have regular and healthy diet. Such a practice will make your body healthy.
Concentrate on your job instead of quitting. While your divorce could be a devastating chapter in your life, you should not let your career suffer because of that. Additionally, you will need more money after your divorce.
You should shave and shower regularly. Do not forget to use nice smelling cologne before going out to make you feel good. After all, you are a new individual post divorce and should look good to get on with your life.
Be in touch with your close friends
Your friends’ support is very precious at this juncture of your life. Call them up and request them to come over to your place.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
To separate from one’s spouse or partner is one of the most difficult and painful decisions to make. If you are a married person, the lives of you and your spouse get intertwined in many ways. Separation can be a devastating experience when a spouse is still in love with the other spouse.
However, it is important to note in this context that a divorce may not be a necessary outcome of every separation. There are several couples who look at separation as a much-needed opportunity to work out issues and also get some space to think. No matter what the ultimate outcomes are, one should not take the decision of separating in a light-hearted manner. In case you are contemplating to separate from your spouse, these are some of the things you should know:
It s crucial to lay down some ground rules
When you are trying to make up your mind about separating, establishing ground rules may not be something you take seriously. But when you establish a few ground rules to start with, it becomes simpler to point out what you are looking out from your separation. Firstly, it is important to indulge in some serious discussions with your partner. You should make a joint decision on if you will be in touch with each other during the period of separation, where you both will live and so on. It is also critical to have a consensus on how to take care of difficult issues such as visitation arrangements and child care and whether you can date a new person or not.
Be happy of having a strong support network
When you have a great support network in place, life becomes easier while you are separated from your spouse. Having a supportive family and close friends during this trying period will make your life easier and calmer. You can also contemplate consulting a professional and reputable therapist to guide you. Such experts will listen to your problems and guide you to sort out your deeper issues.
Feeling relieved is not unnatural
When your marriage is going through a rocky phase, the decision to separate and the process of separation can bring in a deep sense of relief. So, such emotions are not unusual at all. However, at the same time, you should not regard this sense of relief as a symptom that you will be happier to separate forever. Separating from your spouse does not signify that your choice of partner was incorrect. It only indicates that the present situation is not correct and there are some things that must change.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
When a couple decides to opt for a divorce even after spending many decades together in their marriage, it can be a shocking and a baffling news for them as well as the people around them. After all, they were regarded as the perfect couples till now. So friends and close family members simply wonder what went wrong in the relationship. Even people who are no longer in the close circle of these couples may start spreading gossips about the possible reasons for the breakup of the marriage. Was one of the partners gay or a lesbian? Did one of them cheat on the other? Were they just trying to show the world that their marriage was a success because of the children? No matter what the actual cause of the break up is, it is an unhappy and undesirable scenario. Even the happiest of couples may find their marriage crumble after many years. The big question in such cases is where the symptoms of the breakup clear for some time? Read on to know some of the top causes that made even the most seasoned couples opt for a divorce.
Too many expectations
While couples take an oath to be together until they are dead, they do not work that way for many couples. When a calamity or misfortune falls upon one of the partners or spouses like a chronic illness or a job loss, a spouse hopes that his or her partner will stand by them and help them to face such changes and uncertainty. In real life, that may not happen always. There are several occasions when a spouse may feel he or she has tolerated enough. They may opt to move away from their relationship. The partner or the spouse who was committed to the relationship or marriage should reconsider expectations and priorities.
Gap in communication
Communication is not only about speaking to the spouse. It also constitutes of understanding and appreciating the vision or the view point of the other partner. If there is lack of understanding or difference in vision in a relationship, the marriage may eventually crumble or break up. When the communication gap between the spouses is due to a chronic medical or health condition, the anguish of the impending breakup is even greater.
When partners feel that walls are developing in their relationship
There are times when some couples feel that though they are married for several years, the dynamics of their relationship has undergone big changes during the passing years. They may feel that they are blocking their partners from self-actualization. On several occasions, couples feel that it will not be possible for them to take steps together in the future and it would be better to part ways. However, that also means that they have to pay a big price to attain this freedom as it tantamount to the termination of their marriage that has sustained for so many years.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
A spouse may go through great mental by social agony when they find about the illicit relationship of their partner. In fact, they may constantly think about it till their heads stagger. However, these people need to understand that most of the times their spouses may not depend that kind of energy and they just do not care. It is better not to dwell too much into their acts of infidelity.
Try to come to terms with your emotions
Although every case is a unique one, you can definitely do certain things to reduce your pain. Your roller coaster ride of emotions suddenly begins once you get to know about your spouse’s betrayal. It is natural for you to go through several emotions like fear, a sense of deep loss, great fury and disillusionment. You should try to realize that going crazy will not be of any use. After all, there are many other people who have gone through the same kind of confusion and mental agony but have managed to survive. So, you should never forget that you are not the only person to suffer. Follow these easy tips to help you move on in life after you face betrayal from your spouse.
It is important for you to channelize your frustration and anger
You need to take the help of a good therapist or coach who has specialization in divorce related cases. They will listen to you describing the incident f your spouse cheating on you and then guide you to move ahead in life. A good therapist will also help you to make sure that you get the right perspective and make you realize that you still have an opportunity to lead a happy life and you are not to be blamed for the faults of your spouses. They are adults and made their own decisions. You should never own their decisions and feel bad about it.
Keep yourself thoroughly engaged with messages all through the day so that you feel better
When you indulge in self-pity and try to stay as a recluse, it is impossible to start a new life and stay positive. While no one is arguing that self-pity is normal in the beginning, you should let yourself be angry and hurt only for some time. However, you need to soon make a conscious effort to pick yourself up, and get in touch with your counselor or therapist. It is the ripe time to promise yourself to start a new journey in your life.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Many would agree that family law can be one of the most complicated legal affairs. The level of difficulty may go up due to excessive emotional stress that often accompanies divorce proceedings or disputes related to child custody. So, it is not an easy task to for a good family law judge.
Judges need to be in complete control in the courtroom
A family law case involves a lot of emotions. Hence, it is highly imperative that a good family law judge should be in complete charge of their courtroom do that the things get cool down. It is the responsibility of these judges to ensure that the two parties or the lawyers of both the parties should be restrained from attacking one another. There are some divorce lawyers who spend about 30 minutes covering issues, which should be covered within 5 or 10 minutes. It is exactly where the judges should step in to control the litigants and the attorneys.
Judges should ensure that the proceedings of the court start in time
In case a court is scheduled to start at eight in the morning, a judge should not be delayed in reaching the court. He or she should be punctual in reaching the court so that the hearings should begin on time. As it is, the litigants and the attorneys would be waiting impatiently for the court’s proceedings to start. However, the public should understand that several important events could be taking place in the chambers of the judge, so some times a late start is unavoidable.
Accessibility is a key feature of good judges
Problem-solving is a key personality trait of any good judge or attorney. Any good judge makes it a point to get in touch with the litigants as well as lawyers about certain issues. He or she may tell that certain facts in cases may prompt them to take certain actions in certain scenarios. Such information can be used by the attorneys for resolving certain contentious issues since they got a specific reading from the said judge. They are also able to clearly see the writing on the walls.
Decision-making capacity
There are some judges who hesitate to make a timely decision. It is a known fact that both, clients as well as their attorneys, want that they should get a proper judgment. Even if one of the parties may not agree with the ruling of a judge, it is still better to give a ruling instead if no ruling at all. A good family law judge should declare a ruling with proper reasoning to support such a decision. When a judge has given a ruling, both the parties can at least go ahead with the next phase in their lives or to the subsequent part of that case.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Mediators have increasingly become important in divorces and often play a vital role in determining the outcome of divorce. In some cases, mediators are successful at stopping a bad divorce from taking place.
As a mediator, you need to keep certain points in mind before you can proceed with a mediation for same-sex couples.
Keep things in perspective
It is a serious matter but don’t make it so serious that the couple feel that a divorce is the end of the road for them. Keep things in perspective. Allow them to focus on important issues and be calm about it.
Try to save the marriage first
Most of the time, you will try to sort out the differences between the two individuals. However, in case of same-sex couples, try to save the marriage if there is a possibility to do so. Tell your clients the pros and cons of getting a divorce and help them decide the best course of action.
Be sensitive about what you say
How you talk with heterosexual clients may not work for same-sex couples. Try understanding their psyche and look at things from their point of view.
Conclusion
Same-sex marriages like heterosexual marriages are prone to divorces too. It is difficult for same-sex couples to split because finding a partner is not easy for them. Once they find someone who they are comfortable with, they try staying with the same person for the rest of their life. However, problems can arise anytime and sometime they lead to divorce. Divorce mediation for such individual is a bit different than regular mediation process. The sensitivity meter is higher and mediators should know what they are talking about. Also, same-sex couples prefer options for saving their marriage rather than learning about the best way to do a divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Forget all renditions of courtroom dramas as seen on television or in the movies, the real courtroom where everyday cases are heard by judges runs very differently. Devoid of all glamour and romance, family court is not what you would expect, if going by what you’ve seen on TV.
Here’s a more appropriate view of what to expect if you do find yourself in a California Family Law Court.
Tight Security Checks
Like all Government institutions, court houses are firm on security checks. Before entering you will be subjected to a thorough screening. Beginning with a walk through metal detector screener, keep a check of all metal items you might be carrying on your person. You will need to keep all metal aside, including objects like belts, keys, phone, pocket change etc.
Arrive well before your scheduled appointment and leave unnecessary objects in your car, before entering if you’re running late. It might take you a while before you clear security and can then carry on to find the room in which your case will he heard.
Public Hearings
You might be surprised to learn that your case won’t be the only one on the docket that day. Prepare yourself for a whole bunch of strangers listening in on your case. Additionally, it might take some time before the judge calls on your case to be heard, following the progression of cases before yours.
Public hearings have positives too, you can ask friends or family to join you in the audience. Keep in mind to ask only those family and friends who are an important part of your support system.
Look for Signs
Every morning, each courtroom will provide a list of cases they are to hear that day on a sign outside their doors. Read all lists to check if your case is listed to be heard in that particular room. When inside the room, look for which side you should be sitting on either the respondent or petitioner’s side, this makes things easier when your case is called to be heard.
Additionally make it a point to adhere to courtroom decorum and follow required etiquette, also listed on signs in the room.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
As technology keeps expanding its base, more and more avenues open up where technology plays a crucial role. For communication purposes, technology has become absolutely necessary. One of the new areas where technology has made its presence felt is divorce mediation. Divorces have become a common affair in the U.S. as more and more couples head for a divorce instead of staying in a bad marriage. Therefore, the job of a divorce mediator has become increasingly important and mediators are now looking for newer ways to connect with clients.
Virtual divorce mediation is mediation done through an electronic mode. It mainly takes place through video chat and other visual communication tools where clients and mediators interact with each other.
How it differs from regular mediation process
In a regular mediation process, the mediator sits with both parents and decides how the marriage can be saved or if it cannot be saved then how the divorce should take place. Over the last few years, mediation has become an important factor in divorce and many couples have even saved their marriage from unnecessary damage. A virtual divorce is the same except here, the clients and the mediator interact through an electronic medium. Even interacting through phone can be a part of virtual mediation.
When is it used?
A virtual mediation is best when the client is away from home but still needs to go through the divorce proceedings. It’s good for people who stay out-of-state for long periods of time. Also, it works well when both spouses are away from each other and the mediator needs to interact with both of them. A digital mediation process will help bridge the communication gap between both parties. It also works when the interaction involves children. Kids have become used to technology and therefore, it becomes easy for them to interact with someone through an electronic medium.
Conclusion
Mediation processes are important for settling disputes between couples who are heading for a divorce. Since the number of divorces are increasing day by day, it is becoming important for mediators to keep up communication with their clients. And one of the best ways to do so is through a digital media. Video chats can be done from almost anywhere and it helps mediators and clients communicate effectively with each other. Virtual mediation is therefore the latest communication tool for mediators of the 21st Century.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
You may feel liberated or devastated during and after the divorce. After all, it is not an easy phase in your life. You might have put years of your soul and heart to make the relationship work. Plus, you had always thought that it will be good for both of you to grow old together and yet you find yourself lonely. Though it is tough, moving on is both empowering as well as rejuvenating for you, especially when you are determined to start afresh. Check out some of these areas where you can focus on is that there is a smooth transition through your divorce.
Prioritize those activities that took a backseat during your marriage
You could have sacrificed your career and hobbies for the sake of your marriage. After all, the past years have been too hectic for you as you hardly had any time while looking after your family. As such, it is likely that your old passions had to be compromised. Your activities, hobbies and career have got neglected a lot. Try to bring back that old spark in your life. Divert your mind from the ugliness of the divorce proceeding by extolling yourself for cooking classes or taking up riding lessons you had always wanted to join earlier but did not have the time.
Concentrate once again on self-care
Taking care of self is a big challenge for many women. It has been taught to you ever since your childhood days that you should be always kind and selfless to others. However, on many occasions, women confuse between selflessness and neglecting themselves. They try to give a priority to everything else. It is the right time for you to prioritize your well being now. After all, if you continue to neglect yourself, your home, work or kids may get neglected when are unwell.
Focus on your social support
Getting divorced can be one of the most stressful events in your life. Since you are not going through an easy phase in your life, it is important to develop your social support to get over your current turmoil. Try to nurture your earlier relationships as well as explore fresh options for forming valuable connections and create friendships. Such an initiative can be taken through different ways. Check out some of them.
Make new friends and establish connection with your old friends once again.
Try to be a part of various groups according to your interests like socializing, hiking gardening, wine-tasting and so on.
You can also contemplate joining a support group now. You will find plenty of them around you.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Although you could be the one you initiated your divorce process, it may still take a toll on you. It is quite a costly process and there is hardly anyone who emerges as a winner in a divorce? Costs can get multiplied when a single household splits into two. But rational and logical thoughts, proper planning and education may be helpful in lowering the financial impact. Check out the following suggestions that can come handy for keeping your costs in check during the divorce.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
