What To Know About Getting Back Together After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediators; California Divorce MediatorsMost couples who have made the tough decision of getting a divorce are most likely to not get back together or give their marriage another shot. However, for a few couples, they might realize post-divorce that they have in fact made a huge mistake and want to give their relationship another chance. Couples who would like to give their marriage another shot must realize that there will be a lot of hard work involved as well as therapy and marriage or relationship counseling. The couple will have to work out their issues amicably and forgive one another and forget the past in order to move on.

Legal proceedings to be followed if the couple are unsure about getting divorced

It’s always great new when a couple who has divorced wants to reconcile and get back together however as per the law there are certain legal proceedings that will have to be followed as per the norms. That is if the court has already granted or passed a divorce decree in favor of the parties.

If the couple are mutually interested in trying to work things out they will have to enter into a written agreement with each other stating that they are interested in putting their divorce case and all other hearings, orders, and other legal proceedings on hold for the time being till they figure out where they stand in their relationship. In this case, the court will put all divorce proceedings on hold and stop all temporary legal proceedings in order for the couple to work out their issues. All personal hearings will be pushed if the court is satisfied that the couple is genuinely interested in working things out and are not trying to resort to malicious activities or malpractice.

If the couple definitely does not want to get a divorce

However, if the couple is a 100% sure that they do not want to get divorced and in fact want to get back together again they can apply to the court to dismiss their divorce proceedings entirely without any prejudice. This means that the current divorce case would be canceled altogether and they can always file for another divorce at a later stage if the reconciliation was a failure.

If a second divorce is filed later on the date of separation would be the date of filing the second or latest divorce and would not be retrospective. Therefore, the division of assets and liabilities, alimony payments, child support conditions, etc. would be calculated as on the second date of separation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Major Reasons Why Couples Split Up

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce mediators; California Divorce MediatorsDivorces can be sought for a myriad number of reasons. No divorcing couples ever have the same reasons for seeking a separation. No one ever gets married thinking that they will get divorced. But situations and circumstances may become such that the couple are better off divorced. Divorce laws in California state that everyone has the right to seek a divorce.

Some of the reasons why couples decide to split up have been briefly discussed here.

Infidelity or adultery – Infidelity and lies are perhaps the most common reasons for a divorce. No one ever wants to be cheated. If the trust on which a marriage is based breaks down, the marriage itself breaks down.

Lack of communication – Communication is very important for a marriage to work. Always talk to each other and share your problems. Sometimes people feel neglected in a marriage if there is not enough communication. Also, listen to your spouse.

Bond between the couple has disappeared – It is possible that, over time, the two parties in a marriage have drifted apart. You do not share each other’s interests and feel neglected by the other or you do not socialize together.

Sexual incompatibility – Over time two partners can lose sexual interest in each other. Or they may not experience compatibility anymore. When the sexual flame dies out, the marriage also dies out.  The marriage becomes less intimate.

Financial troubles – The issue of finances is very sensitive. If your spouse fails to provide financial stability or is always spending money unreasonably, remaining married to him or her does not make any sense. It only creates tensions in the relationship and finally takes a toll on the marriage.

Domestic abuse – It is a very serious issue. It can be in the form of physical, verbal or emotional abuse. Screaming at your spouse, using offensive and foul language, hitting them, all fall under domestic abuse. Your spouse may always be threatening you.

Emotional abuse is generally experienced in the form of an extremely controlling partner. Your partner never lets you do things your way and is always dictating you around.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Tips To Keep Your Marriage Going Strong (and Hot)

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

mediator divorce orange county; California Divorce MediatorsMarriage is one of the most sacred relationships that a person can get into. Marriage is a relationship of commitment, dedication, and unending support for each other through the thick and thin and the highs and lows. The most important thing to understand about marriage is that it isn’t only a relation between two individuals but it is also the coming together of two families and the start of another. It is often believed that people who offer divorce mediation services tend to want the couples to get divorced and encourage it.

Reality, however, is far from the perception. Most genuine Orange County divorce mediators and mediation services wants married couples to have a healthy and happy married life and avoid divorce. In this regard, this blog outlines a few tips for spouses to use in making sure their marriage lasts the distance.

·         Nurture Yourself

The institution of marriage stands upon the principle of giving, yet this principle, if over worked, can lead to difficulties. While marriage is about giving, giving too much is likely to make you seem weak and dependant on the other spouses. This is never a good situation to be in, since individuality of each of the spouses is one of the most important ingredients of a successful married life, and it needs to be maintained throughout. Make sure you give yourself importance in the relationship and allow your partner to realize your importance in this relationship.

·         Express The Complex Issues In 3 Sentences

There are often things that a couple needs to talk about which can be misinterpreted by either of the spouses if too little or too many words are used. The 3 sentence rule is what protects this from occurring. Have a rule in your marriage that both of you will express the complex marital issues in 3 sentences to not only sound convincing but to avoid coming of as assertive or aggressive. This is an important issue, since misconceptions have been regarded as one of the leading reasons couple go into a divorce.

·         Do It To Renew It

By it, we mean sex. It is no secret that intimacy, romance, and the feel good factor are all important branches that lead to eventual sex. Sometimes though, couples need to simply get on with it and let the rest of these aspects fall into place. Sex is one of the best communicators of feelings of joy, and is an almost instantaneous means of connectivity. Sex between couples is known to not only bring back the missing spark in the relationship, but also gives the spouses a sense of security and togetherness.

·         Remind Yourself Of The Reason You Got Married

A long marriage can sometimes become boring with the couples becoming more like roommates than anything else. In this regard, it is important for the spouses to continue to remind themselves of the reasons that they go married.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, “What is Divorce Mediation.”