Many would agree that family law can be one of the most complicated legal affairs. The level of difficulty may go up due to excessive emotional stress that often accompanies divorce proceedings or disputes related to child custody. So, it is not an easy task to for a good family law judge.
Judges need to be in complete control in the courtroom
A family law case involves a lot of emotions. Hence, it is highly imperative that a good family law judge should be in complete charge of their courtroom do that the things get cool down. It is the responsibility of these judges to ensure that the two parties or the lawyers of both the parties should be restrained from attacking one another. There are some divorce lawyers who spend about 30 minutes covering issues, which should be covered within 5 or 10 minutes. It is exactly where the judges should step in to control the litigants and the attorneys.
Judges should ensure that the proceedings of the court start in time
In case a court is scheduled to start at eight in the morning, a judge should not be delayed in reaching the court. He or she should be punctual in reaching the court so that the hearings should begin on time. As it is, the litigants and the attorneys would be waiting impatiently for the court’s proceedings to start. However, the public should understand that several important events could be taking place in the chambers of the judge, so some times a late start is unavoidable.
Accessibility is a key feature of good judges
Problem-solving is a key personality trait of any good judge or attorney. Any good judge makes it a point to get in touch with the litigants as well as lawyers about certain issues. He or she may tell that certain facts in cases may prompt them to take certain actions in certain scenarios. Such information can be used by the attorneys for resolving certain contentious issues since they got a specific reading from the said judge. They are also able to clearly see the writing on the walls.
Decision-making capacity
There are some judges who hesitate to make a timely decision. It is a known fact that both, clients as well as their attorneys, want that they should get a proper judgment. Even if one of the parties may not agree with the ruling of a judge, it is still better to give a ruling instead if no ruling at all. A good family law judge should declare a ruling with proper reasoning to support such a decision. When a judge has given a ruling, both the parties can at least go ahead with the next phase in their lives or to the subsequent part of that case.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Mediators have increasingly become important in divorces and often play a vital role in determining the outcome of divorce. In some cases, mediators are successful at stopping a bad divorce from taking place.
As a mediator, you need to keep certain points in mind before you can proceed with a mediation for same-sex couples.
Keep things in perspective
It is a serious matter but don’t make it so serious that the couple feel that a divorce is the end of the road for them. Keep things in perspective. Allow them to focus on important issues and be calm about it.
Try to save the marriage first
Most of the time, you will try to sort out the differences between the two individuals. However, in case of same-sex couples, try to save the marriage if there is a possibility to do so. Tell your clients the pros and cons of getting a divorce and help them decide the best course of action.
Be sensitive about what you say
How you talk with heterosexual clients may not work for same-sex couples. Try understanding their psyche and look at things from their point of view.
Conclusion
Same-sex marriages like heterosexual marriages are prone to divorces too. It is difficult for same-sex couples to split because finding a partner is not easy for them. Once they find someone who they are comfortable with, they try staying with the same person for the rest of their life. However, problems can arise anytime and sometime they lead to divorce. Divorce mediation for such individual is a bit different than regular mediation process. The sensitivity meter is higher and mediators should know what they are talking about. Also, same-sex couples prefer options for saving their marriage rather than learning about the best way to do a divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Forget all renditions of courtroom dramas as seen on television or in the movies, the real courtroom where everyday cases are heard by judges runs very differently. Devoid of all glamour and romance, family court is not what you would expect, if going by what you’ve seen on TV.
Here’s a more appropriate view of what to expect if you do find yourself in a California Family Law Court.
Tight Security Checks
Like all Government institutions, court houses are firm on security checks. Before entering you will be subjected to a thorough screening. Beginning with a walk through metal detector screener, keep a check of all metal items you might be carrying on your person. You will need to keep all metal aside, including objects like belts, keys, phone, pocket change etc.
Arrive well before your scheduled appointment and leave unnecessary objects in your car, before entering if you’re running late. It might take you a while before you clear security and can then carry on to find the room in which your case will he heard.
Public Hearings
You might be surprised to learn that your case won’t be the only one on the docket that day. Prepare yourself for a whole bunch of strangers listening in on your case. Additionally, it might take some time before the judge calls on your case to be heard, following the progression of cases before yours.
Public hearings have positives too, you can ask friends or family to join you in the audience. Keep in mind to ask only those family and friends who are an important part of your support system.
Look for Signs
Every morning, each courtroom will provide a list of cases they are to hear that day on a sign outside their doors. Read all lists to check if your case is listed to be heard in that particular room. When inside the room, look for which side you should be sitting on either the respondent or petitioner’s side, this makes things easier when your case is called to be heard.
Additionally make it a point to adhere to courtroom decorum and follow required etiquette, also listed on signs in the room.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
You may feel liberated or devastated during and after the divorce. After all, it is not an easy phase in your life. You might have put years of your soul and heart to make the relationship work. Plus, you had always thought that it will be good for both of you to grow old together and yet you find yourself lonely. Though it is tough, moving on is both empowering as well as rejuvenating for you, especially when you are determined to start afresh. Check out some of these areas where you can focus on is that there is a smooth transition through your divorce.
Prioritize those activities that took a backseat during your marriage
You could have sacrificed your career and hobbies for the sake of your marriage. After all, the past years have been too hectic for you as you hardly had any time while looking after your family. As such, it is likely that your old passions had to be compromised. Your activities, hobbies and career have got neglected a lot. Try to bring back that old spark in your life. Divert your mind from the ugliness of the divorce proceeding by extolling yourself for cooking classes or taking up riding lessons you had always wanted to join earlier but did not have the time.
Concentrate once again on self-care
Taking care of self is a big challenge for many women. It has been taught to you ever since your childhood days that you should be always kind and selfless to others. However, on many occasions, women confuse between selflessness and neglecting themselves. They try to give a priority to everything else. It is the right time for you to prioritize your well being now. After all, if you continue to neglect yourself, your home, work or kids may get neglected when are unwell.
Focus on your social support
Getting divorced can be one of the most stressful events in your life. Since you are not going through an easy phase in your life, it is important to develop your social support to get over your current turmoil. Try to nurture your earlier relationships as well as explore fresh options for forming valuable connections and create friendships. Such an initiative can be taken through different ways. Check out some of them.
Make new friends and establish connection with your old friends once again.
Try to be a part of various groups according to your interests like socializing, hiking gardening, wine-tasting and so on.
You can also contemplate joining a support group now. You will find plenty of them around you.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
For a parent, there is no greater loss after a divorce than losing custodial rights of their children. There are many grounds on which a court in California can award custodial rights to a father. Substance addiction, abuse and neglect are the topmost reasons and also, mothers who are not financially stable can find themselves on the losing end.
So, what should mothers do when they lose custodial battles? Completely losing custody of one’s children can have a detrimental effects on a parent’s mental health and if you’re a mother who is concerned that they may find themselves in a similar situation and is hoping to find some advice on what their options are to proceed then taking the following steps can go a long way to helping you land on your feet.
Work to improve your circumstances and take control of your life
The best thing that you can do to restore confidence in your child and your ex is by becoming a better person. Instead of lamenting over the situation, get involved with your child’s activities. From school activities to dental appointments, take small responsibilities on your shoulder and show everyone that you, too, can change. Not only will this help boost your confidence levels, but it will also allow you to take control of your life as well.
Taking control of your child’s responsibilities will teach you to become a natural leader. It will also help you develop an important skill which you might have lacked before your divorce – decision making.
Decision making and control will allow you to improve yourself, both as a person and as a mother.
Get yourself some legal advice or hire a lawyer
If you have some idea of how the legal system works in California, you can help yourself on legal matters. It could be helpful in strengthening your case against your spouse because only you know your strengths and weaknesses. Also, during child care plans, you can point out flaws or save yourself from extra damage than is necessary.
If you don’t understand the law, hire an experienced lawyer. Educated and experienced lawyers can be the main reason for your win.
Conclusion
Losing a custodial battle is tough for mothers and it’s also tough to recover from the loss. However, if you take an interest in your child’s activities then it will help you improve yourself. Improving yourself will help you take control of your life. In any case, make sure you consult a good lawyer before and after a custodial battle.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
When the Kingston University conducted a study for analyzing whether women had a negative effect after divorce or not, the result was quite surprising. About ten thousand people were surveyed as a part of this research and the respondents were in the age group f 16 to 60. The respondents were asked during the survey to rate how they felt before their divorce and after the divorce got finalized,
The researchers found out during the course of two decades of time period that women appeared to be more satisfied and happier in their lives after their divorces came through. Check out some of the following reasons why women could be happier after their divorce.
Women tend to seek more professional help to get over their trauma than men
It has been observed that women are more likely to approach a therapist or a counselor after their divorce to get over their emotional trauma and grief. On the other grand men tend to keep their pain more to themselves during the same phase in their lives; since they are less likely to seek professional support, it may take more time to overcome their grief and stress.
Positive support system
As compared to men, women are more likely to ensure that they have a positive support system around them during such a difficult time like their families and friends.
Different strategies for coping up with their emotional upheaval
Usually, women are known to possess unique strategies to cope up with their emotions. Women tend to look inward to seek comfort for overcoming their emotional pain. Men have a tendency to look outward. Women introspect on whether they had a role in the breakup of their marriage and they work harder to overcome their emotions and let go of their past and concentrate on their future.
Less chance of alcohol abuse
Many men tend to get addicted to alcohol during such times but women are less likely to do so. Moreover, women are less likely to turn to casual sex and new relationships quickly for distracting them from the agony of divorce as compared to men.
Look out for new experience
Divorced women have a greater possibility to look out for new experiences post their divorce. These fresh experiences can provide them hope for a bright future and can even enrich their lives.
Powerful sense of perseverance
For many divorced women, giving up does not come easy as they have a stronger sense of perseverance as compared to divorced men. Many divorced women also do most of the childcare job as well as rake up jobs to have a better financial stability.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Irrespective of you being a man or a woman, divorce can be quite a messy affair. There are emotions such as hurt feelings, anger, and divorce lawyers becoming aggressive to make sure that their clients have an edge over each other. So, it is not unnatural that certain mistakes are committed. This is applicable for dime men who may not take the intricacies of divorce proceedings into their stride. Men may not be in a situation they would like to be in. Thus, it is imperative that they are well-prepared for such situations. Often men may be at a disadvantage both emotionally as well as legally. In such scenarios, they may stop thinking logically and may err while making the right choices. The following are some of those common mistakes many husbands tend to make during divorce.
Retaliate negatively
There are some husbands who become obstinately insistent upon destroying their wives when they get to know that their wives want a divorce from them. While these men may still love their wives, they permitted the torment of their divorce to prevail over their good sense and the urge to punish their wives for leaving. Rather, the husbands should not bad-mouth their wives. Do not listen to those people who keep telling you that she will try to take away your house, children, and car. It may have a negative repercussion when she gets to know that you made belittling statements about her and gives her an opportunity to tell everyone how unreasonable you always have been like this, which prompted her to take such a big step.
Not taking the help of a divorce lawyer in time
In a majority of the cases, it is the women who have the edge in divorce cases. It is better to hire a divorce attorney as early as possible so that the latter can tell you what legal rights you enjoy as a father. They will also guide you on what your behavior should be like when the divorce process is going on. When you gave kids from your marriage, you would like to ensure that your relationship with them remain harmonious. Hiring a divorce attorney quickly should be your key responsibility so that your role as a dad remains intact during and after the divorce.
Unwilling to negotiate
When you refuse to negotiate and mediate your divorce settlement, the expenses of your divorce may go up and your ex-wife may end up getting some of what she had been claiming for though you may not like it. Hence, try to be reasonable and civil during the divorce process.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
When you are planning to get a divorce or going through a divorce, a key area of concern should be how your kids may get impacted by your divorce. Several studies have shown that divorce can have a negative impact on their children. So, it is hardly surprising that parents are bothered about the welfare of their children when they plan to get divorced. How your children may be affected by your divorce depend on the method of parenting that you select. While your children may be negatively impacted by the divorce, there are several ways to avoid such impact.
Behave maturely with your spouse in front of the kids
The manner in which you and the other parent behave with each other while your divorce is underway or after it has been finalized will determine how your children get affected by your decision. When kids see their parents at loggerheads during or even after the divorce they get a feeling that they have also become a part of such conflict.
Children should not be dragged into conflicts
Hence, when you do not want your children to be harmed by your divorce, it is your responsibility to ensure that they are not dragged into the conflicts between you and their other parent. Some parents have a feeling that tensions in a divorce cannot be avoided but irrespective of what their feelings are, it is necessary to take positive steps so that your children do not feel harassed and are not stuck in between two hostile parents. Here are some simple parenting methods after your divorce comes through.
Abstain from doing the following:
Do not use your kids as messengers or to seek information about your ex’s social activities, dating life, and home.
Trying to get the favor of your child so that the other parent is punished.
Utter negative remarks about your ex in front of your children.
Discussing financial issues with your children. These matters could be pertaining to a delayed check of child support; adult financial issues no fund to pay your rent and so on.
Share fault problems about you and your former spouse with the kids. These may include topics like the reasons why you got a divorce, infidelity or details about the divorce proceedings.
Your marriage comes to an end after the divorce comes through. However, that does mean your responsibility also as a parent also ceases. A key responsibility is to establish a positive relationship with your ex for effective co-parenting.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
In case you are contemplating divorce, you may feel apprehensive about approaching a court. Most people feel scared and nervous with the prospect of going to a court and testify before a judge while they are going through one of the most critical phases in their lives. Stress is the last thing you want to go through at this crucial juncture of your life. Mediation can prove to be an ideal replacement for a trial in the courtroom in divorce cases. It is a process that serves its purpose for cases of uncontested divorces as well as for those divorce cases that can eventually become uncontested when a skilled Orange County divorce mediator is involved.
Benefits of taking assistance from a professional mediator
Resolve marital conflicts: Effective mediation can help in resolving marital conflicts between the couples and arrive at a consensus about the different divorce terms. The purpose of mediation is to concentrate on working together and it is not an adversarial procedure. An unbiased mediator guides both the parties while addressing their individual needs and solve their problems.
Spouses can remain in control: Both the parties can choose their discussion topics and define any settlement terms instead of the details being dictated by a court. The spouses have complete control over the discussion process.
Mediation is less costly: Litigation costs much more than mediation. If a spouse has to get the divorce through a trial then his or her divorce attorneys need to spend several hours for appearing in the courtroom and drafting motions.
More flexibility: A mediation process is much more flexible as compared to a litigation process. When you approach a court, you have to be present when your hearing is scheduled by the court, On the other hand, with the assistance of professional mediation, sessions can be arranged according to your own convenience. It is possible to participate in a mediation meeting even via a conference call or an online video chat.
Quicker resolution of case: Thanks to mediation, you need not wait for a date from the court that may take several days. Since you can schedule your mediation sessions, achieving resolution is a faster process and you can start your new life thereafter.
Why mediation is good for uncontested divorces?
Are your expecting to get an uncontested divorce? If that is the case, mediation is an effective process to work out the contentious issues in such a way that proves to be beneficial for all the involved parties like your kids, your spouse and you. It is a process that offers a way to work closely with your estranged partner to sort out all the pending issues without the trouble of approaching a court.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
There are very few couples who like the prospect of getting divorced. After all, when a marriage ends, it is tough for the concerned couple and also for their other family members. Sadly though, for some couples, there is no other choice apart from getting divorced. When such a situation occurs, both the partners may be under stress, saddened and disillusioned. It is natural for some spouses to realize at this juncture that they should save their marriages at all cost. In fact, it is not an unusual reaction. Though situation like this may appear hopeless, it is still possible to save some marriages. Read on how it is not an impossible task to save a marriage even while a divorce appears imminent.
Both the parties need to be vulnerable
The spouses must be vulnerable in order to save their marriage and enjoy a blissful life. When spouses start expressing and being vocal about their inner feelings once again, their hearts are bound to open. Both the parties are reserved and furious with each other when a divorce appears to be imminent. Instead of behaving in this fashion, couples should express their emotions positively. Such an act can avert the possibility of a divorce as they help in doing away with emotional disconnect if any while expressing their love and forgiveness towards one another. There is ample evidence where marriages are found to be crumbling down when couples start being guarded towards each other. So, try to be vulnerable so that sharing your feelings become simpler and romance is back in your marriage once again.
Try to find out what went wrong by entering into discussion mode
It takes a good deal of effort to stop a divorce, which seems imminent. Both the spouses need to work continuously on their strained relationship so that it gets improved and the marriage can be saved. Both the parties should try their best to eliminate any kind of hostility to reach such a point. An easy way to accomplish that is to identify what went wrong in their marriage. When couples attend professional counseling sessions, they can have these tough discussions in an unbiased and productive manner. It is important to remember that the couple should adopt the right attitude so that contentious issues can get resolved in an amicable manner and their marriage can be saved.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Many would agree that family law can be one of the most complicated legal affairs. The level of difficulty may go up due to excessive emotional stress that often accompanies divorce proceedings or disputes related to child custody. So, it is not an easy task to for a good family law judge.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
