The decision on whether one should settle your divorce case through mediation or litigation will depend on individual circumstances of every case. There are many cases when the two parties can sit together and negotiate their settlement details through mediation. However, there are other cases where mediation becomes a futile exercise and the two parties fail to. You can else enter into a deal with the come to any amicable settlement.
Mediation is a cost-effective technique to resolve the differences in a divorce in some circumstances. But there are other circumstances when one of the parties or both of them need to approach a court to get the desired outcomes.
Merits of settling a divorce case
Settlement offers a host of benefits as compared to a divorce lawsuit or a legal dispute. Here are some of them.
Stress
It is possible to reduce stressful situations to some extent by opting for a settlement as compared to going for a trial or litigation. The latter may have unexpected outcomes and both parties may not like to stand on a witness stand in the court and share their private stories with the judge in front of many people. Additionally, they may not like the prospect of being cross-examined by the lawyer for the other party.
Less expensive
When the parties opt for a trial, the process involves experts, attorneys, time, travel, witnesses among others. In case a case can be settled prior to going on a trial, several such expenses are drastically reduced or removed altogether.
More predictable as compared to trial
Any good divorce lawyer will mention that the decision of a jury is not quite predictable. In comparison, you can declare your terms for the divorce settlement agreements. You can also enter into a deal either the other party, which is acceptable to both of you.
Privacy
If you opt for settling your case, many of its details are not included in the court documents. They are not treated as public records; clause god confidentiality is included in several court documents.
Sense of finality prevails
If a couple opts for litigation, the party that lists the case has a right to appeal against the judgment made by a court. Thus, the divorce process may drag on for several months. On the other hand, a settlement is not usually appealed.
When is it better to opt for litigation?
When either both the parties or one of them do not agree to settle or refuses to come to a negotiating table then a lawsuit can become imperative at other times when a plaintiff needs to settle his or her sense of what is wrong and what is right, they may opt for a legal proceeding.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorces can be complicated matters and getting caught in the middle of legal problems is common. some people try avoiding divorce cases by going through a mediation first. A divorce mediator helps couples either negotiate divorce settlements or resolve issues that leads to the dissolution of marriage.
However, divorce mediation is not appropriate in all situations. For certain cases where domestic abuse or some kind of crime is involved, courts often start divorce proceedings without a mediation. But it can be confusing for people who are stuck in between and don’t know whether to hire a lawyer or a mediator.
When does mediation work?
California courts always favor divorce mediations and alternatives to divorce because it saves them for going into complicated cases. They can instead focus on more pressing matters. It is the reason why courts ask couples to go through a mediation process before the divorce is finalized.
Mediation processes are successful when the idea of a divorce is mutual and both parties understand what it means for them. Divorce mediations are useful when the couples are open to comprise without any emotional attachment.
Mediation is a powerful process and many marriages have worked out after couples went through a mediation process.
When does going to a lawyer work?
Divorce mediations are absolutely necessary but in some cases, they are not required. In cases where clear signs of domestic abuse or child abuse is involved, mediation is unnecessary. In other cases, where the court feels that a mediation is waste of time, divorce proceedings are directly handled by lawyers. Sometimes, mediators and lawyers are the same person and the roles are intertwined. For such lawyers, it becomes easy to do both without the client or the courts interference.
Conclusion
Since divorces can become ugly, mediation processes that can potentially save the marriage is often used to pacify issues between the couple. Mediation processes work best when both parties are ready to reach a common ground where they can work out things. Often, it helps save their marriage. Divorce mediations also help couples who aren’t too emotional or touchy about the dissolution of their marriage.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
The Orange County Family Law local rules as well as the broader California laws require a mandatory child custody mediation to be set before a court hearing at which a court order or modification to an earlier court order pertaining to child custody and visitation take place.
Moreover, if a parent fails to turn up for a child custody mediation session without having valid reasons for his or her absence once or repeatedly, he or she may be prevented from being heard further on the issues of child custody and visitation. If it goes to the hearing stage, it may become extremely difficult for the absentee parent to explain their stand.
Custody issues are often the hardest to settle and can’t be settled under premarital agreement settlements since the right of a child belongs exclusively to the child themselves and their best interests would be held paramount by all courts.
Although a mediator can’t be decisions like a judge or an arbitrator, they can definitely propel the discussion between the two parties forward and create a peaceful environment under which discussions can be held, even for such spouses who have come out of an acrimonious relationship and don’t see eye to eye. A mediator plays a vital role and his intervention is often the only reason why a discussion goes forward.
How to prepare for child custody mediation
In order to prepare for child custody mediation, try to gather as much evidence or relevant information about your child that would help you while presenting your side of the argument or making your proposals.
One important step is to understand your custody rights and obligations from an experienced and licensed attorney. You can also prepare and present a list of daily schedules for yourself and your child that would convey how emotionally and personally invested you are in the growth and welfare of your child. You should also present your child custody and visitation proposal during the mediation process after taking advice from your attorney.
You will also need to come to an agreement with the other parent for deciding the scheduled visits and where to drop and pick up the child from and also special occasions or moments in the child’s life when they would expect both their parents to gather.
You may also do well to get an understanding of some commonly used legal phraseology or jargon that may be thrown around during the mediation discussions. Consult your attorney and prepare yourself accordingly.
In order to prepare for the child custody meetings, be honest and think, if you are really capable of taking care of your child. At all points, their interests will be to be kept in mind. Be compassionate towards the other party and you may be able to reach a mediation agreement regarding to your child easily.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
There are many people who go all numb when their divorce proceeding is underway. The reason for such an emotional state is because it could be too much to go through all sorts of chaos and painful feelings as the harsh reality is there for them. However, things can be even more complicated where kids are involved in a divorce. Firstly, there is this emotional trauma. Above that, there is the important concern of money.
Breaking up is quite simple and straightforward for all those divorcing couples do not have kids from their marriages. If you fall into that category, simply divide your and your spouse’s assets and start life afresh after your divorce comes through. On the other hand, divorcing couples with children face a more complicated problem and if they are younger, things could be even trickier. In a nutshell, child support could be quite a complicated area.
Costs of child support
The cost of child support may be paid to either the mother or father. It actually depends on who is taking care if the kids. A parent who pays the maintenance cost can often be the “non-custodial parent.” In a majority of these cases, it is the father or the ex-husband, who plays this role or pays the maintenance costs.
The family house
One of the most important priorities for the divorcing couple is to ensure that the kids should continue having a proper home for them even after the finalization of the divorce. There are several such occasions where it has been observed that the ex-husbands have a tendency to sell if the house and go away with 50 percent of its value but it does not have to be so necessarily. When too many assets are not there to split, assuming the wife is the primary career and the kids are usually permitted to continue staying in the same home. In case either of the partners behind a new relationship; matters could be even more complicated. When the mother gets married again or brings in a new partner, there are no alterations in the obligations of the father as he has to keep beating the maintenance costs as he was doing previously. However, he is no longer obliged to pay for the maintenance of his former wife any longer in case she cohabits in some cases or remarries.
However, if the father starts cohabiting with a new partner and the latter has kids from an earlier relationship but now live with them, he could be paying less money for child maintenance to his own biological children.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
There are many emotions brought by a divorce. This is especially true when the couple has had a bad time in their marriage. It is normal to go through feelings such ad fear, fury, sadness, and anxiety. However, you need to remember that the degree of emotions will slowly subside with the passage of time. So, when you are undergoing a divorce process it is better to be calm. So do not get agitated as this would only spoil your health. Studies have shown that people who are composed during such times are better equipped to manage the difficulties that accompany a divorce process. Do not continue a blame game with your partner as nothing would come out of it eventually.
Stop being resentful
Divorce should not be looked upon as a means of settling scores or a way to take revenge against your spouse. If you regard the resolution of your marriage as a battle, there is a high possibility that the divorce process will be more expensive and time-consuming. It is recommended to go for divorce mediation so that you can avoid the long and tiring courtroom proceedings and end up hating one another even more. Studies have also proved that it can help to support the needs of the kids as well as getting emotional satisfaction.
Focus on a smooth split
In many cases, it is not unusual that you do not want to talk to your spouse from whom you intend to part soon. However, despite the ill-feelings, aim for a smooth split. Cooperation, as well as proper communication, will help in making the process healthier and less stressful for both the parties, Moreover when you seek the help of a psychologist and a divorce mediator, you and our estranged partner can avoid conflicts and bitterness.
Do not neglect your health
This is a phase when you must take good care of your health. Speak to your family and friends for comfort and support. Alternatively, the idea of joining a formal support group also makes sense as they help you to cope up with your pent up emotions. There are many people who begin a fresh chapter after their divorce by taking up new hobbies or indulging in activities they had not attempted before. Even you can start doing the same. Make sure to eat well and be physically fit. When the divorce gets nasty, your spouse and you start despising one another even more. Now, that is not good as you still have joint responsibilities as parents. So, try to be amicable while parting since it is good for your sanity, purse, and kids.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce is a time of great hardship and both individuals have a hard time dealing with the reality. However, for some it is easier to accept the fact more than others. For young couples, who haven’t stayed married for a longer time, dealing with divorce is relatively easier than for gray couples. For gray couples, a divorce is more than just a physical separation from their partner. It is a new way of life and for some it can be very tough. Also, there is the question of property and asset separation which is more likely to be much more difficult for gray couples than for young couples.
Mediation is commonly used in divorce cases to ensure that the whole thing goes smoothly. But mediators might use different approach for young and gray couples because the issues are different.
Mediation for young couples
Lawyers who mediate young couples will often focus on the importance of marriage rather than a divorce. Often, mediators will offer couples to go for a separation instead. Since, the marriage period is small, a separation might help them understand what it means to stay apart from each other. Also, mediators will discuss the pros and cons of getting a divorce at an early stage. If the mediator becomes convinced that reconciliation is not possible, then he will focus on the advantages of getting a divorce. It is expected that younger couples won’t have children or much property and therefore, the divorce becomes much easier.
Mediation for gray couples
Gray couples have spent a longer time in marriage and their decision to divorce must be a strong one. However, mediators will often ask couples to reconsider the case and look for options to avoid a divorce. Most gray couples will have children and their assets and properties will also be huge. On top of that there will be the issue of taxes. So, overall, things like child custody, property division, alimony, tax and debt will play a major part in the divorce.
Conclusion
Mediation is important for every couple planning to get a divorce. However, not every couple will require the same type of mediation. For younger couples, the approach will be slightly different than it will be for gray couples. Things like huge assets, child custody, tax and debt won’t be a big issue for young couples as it will be for gray couples. Mediators must consider every factor before mediating.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Nowadays, divorce has become a common issue and couples who are unhappy with the marriage head for a divorce. Mediation plays a big part in divorce proceedings. Often, if the couple have not undergone a mediation program, the court will appoint one for them. But court-appointed mediation does not work as well as mediators who work separately. One of the biggest reasons is that court appointed mediators are given a time limit and often that limit is not enough to complete the mediation process properly. Mediation is given so that couples understand the divorce proceeding and what is required from them. In some cases, mediation processes also end up saving the marriage.
In most cases, one person acts as the mediation lawyer for both individuals. However, in some cases, two mediators are used.
When one of you is a close friend of the mediator
It could happen that one of you are good friends with a divorce mediator. So, it’s possible that the mediator favors one of you over the other, although mediators go out of their way to remain neutral even in such situations. Also, having close friends mediating your divorce might not be a good idea if there are things about you which probably you don’t want the world to know.
When one mediation does not work
Sometimes, couples might feel that one mediation is not enough or that the mediator has not done a good job. One of the primary objectives of mediation is to enlighten the couples about the divorce proceeding and what should be their best course of action. If a mediator fails to do that, then couples have the right to seek out the help of another mediator. However, they should first check the reputation and background of the second mediator they are hiring.
Conclusion
Mediation is an important part of divorce and should be taken seriously. However, in certain cases, one mediator does not work and therefore a second one may be required. It usually happens if the primary mediator is a family friend or at least close to one of you. You can also choose another mediator if you’re not happy with the service of the first one. It is important to know when you need a second mediator for the job. Spending unnecessarily on another person is not a good idea especially when you’re going to face financial damage during your divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Most people avoid talking about their divorce as much as they can because it is certainly not a happy story that they would want to talk about. While some marriages end in divorce, it is also not true that every divorce is a bad divorce. There are ways to have an amicable divorce and here’s 5 ways in which you can do it.
Talk to your spouse
It is very important that you talk with your spouse about the divorce. Instead of having heated arguments, try talking about it amicably. Sometimes, divorces happen due to misunderstandings and maybe if you clear the air, there will be room for another chance. Even if the divorce takes place you’ll at least know that you tried your best to prevent it.
Hire a good mediator
The main job of a mediator is to ensure that your divorce takes place in the best way possible. Instead of opting for a court-appointed mediator, hire one on your own. There are good mediators available in California and you can choose whomever you like. Often, a mediator succeeds in calling off the divorce but that mostly depends on the willingness of you and your spouse.
Support each other
Support is very important when it comes to divorces. It may not be entirely your fault that you’re getting a divorce but remember that any negativity that you show will affect you in the end. So, it’s better to support each other not only financially but also emotionally as well.
Give each other time to adjust
A divorce brings a change in a person’s lifestyle and to adjust to the new way of life every individual need’s time and space. When a divorce has been confirmed, give each other the time to cope with what the future holds for them now.
Don’t rush into it
A divorce is not to be taken lightly and should not be rushed. Be patient and consider the changes that you and your spouse will have to deal with. Often, rash decisions lead to bad results.
Conclusion
A divorce does not necessarily have to end on a bad note. It can be done amicably provided you and your spouse are ready to listen to each other. Hire a good and experienced mediator to help you go through an amicable divorce.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Divorce mediation is an attractive process for California couples that seek to resolve their disputes amicably without the need to have a public battle in court. However, there are still a lot of things that people do not know about divorce mediation and common misconceptions that exist about the topic.
Mediation is the best option
The whole point of an amicable settlement without the divorce going to court sounds attractive to most people, but divorce mediation is not always the best option for couples. This is especially true for couples in which one partner has a history of emotional abuse, and for couples that need to untangle and split a complex web of possessions between each other.
Pets cannot be a part of the mediation process
This is completely untrue as the California government recently passed a law concerning the division of pets in a divorce. The mediator can advise the couple on who is most likely to receive ownership of the pet or how they can work out a pet-sharing deal. This prevents people from stealing pets from their former partners and allows couples to settle the dispute amicably.
Mediation does not require individual lawyers
The mediator is typically a neutral party whose job it is to guide both parties in the divorce. However, it can be a complex process, and not seeking an attorney can be a very foolish thing to do unless you have complete knowledge of the law. You should definitely have an attorney who looks over the final mediation document before it becomes official. Both the parties are advised to have independent attorneys to safeguard their interests.
Mediation is not better than litigation for children
Most people assume that divorce is always going to be bad for their children no matter what. They assume that litigation and mediation are the same, but this could not be farther from the truth. By its very nature, litigation is an adversarial process that promotes a climate of tension, ill will, and stressful court appearances. On the other hand, mediation promotes a culture of cooperation and a desire to settle disputes amicably without excessive volatility. Mediators are trained to be concerned about the emotional and psychological well-being of the children involved, and it can be considered to be a first step to the future where the parents will no longer be together.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Riverside divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters.
Divorce is never easy, no matter how amicable it is. There are numerous assets and properties that need to be divided, not to mention custody of children and other aspects. In California, a person that files for divorce has 3 ways to proceed – mediation, litigation and a collaborative divorce. There is no universal best choice among the 3 and each method is suitable for certain circumstances.
Mediation
Mediation is the process where a divorcing couple sits with an impartial and neutral mediator to decide on the division of assets and properties. While both parties have to hire their own lawyers before a settlement is agreed, the mediator does not have to be a lawyer. Mediation allows for spouses to split rather peacefully and consequently benefit the children. Cost is reduced along with complete confidentiality of all matters discussed. Mediation is best for amicable divorces where the spouses aim to remain in touch and maintain a good relationship.
Litigation
Litigation is the most common and oldest divorce format used. This is because in over 80% of divorce cases, the decision is made by one of the parties and is not mutual. In this case, mediation and collaborative divorce might not work as both parties are working against each other. Despite common believes, litigation often ends with an out-of-court settlement. The couple works with lawyers to come to an agreement regarding custody, division of assets, along with alimony payments and liabilities. Once a settlement is formed both parties sign it and a judge also signs off on it.
If a litigated divorce does go to court, all final decisions are made by the judge including decisions regarding assets and custody. It is recommended in most cases to keep the divorce out of the court as it could have a negative impact on the children and lead to more animosity among the parties. Litigation is the most public and the slowest of all 3 options.
Collaborative Divorce
In a collaborative divorce, the decision to get a divorce is often mutual and there is no animosity. Both parties hire an attorney and decide on the terms of the divorce. Unlike litigation, the attorneys in a collaborative divorce try to help couples come to a mutual agreement. Collaborative divorcees can also hire financial planners that will help plan their lives through the divorce and after. Therapists and coaches may also sit with the spouses to helps them resolve issues. In a collaborative divorce, there is no chance of going to court. In fact, documents are signed before the proceedings stating that the attorneys must withdraw if court is threatened or the settlement fails.
Both mediation and collaborative divorce are only recommended when both parties are on equal footing and have a mutual understanding. Spouses that doubt their partner’s declarations or do not understand the various assets on hand (such as finances) should choose litigation. The same applies when substance abuse, physical or mental abuse is involved.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.
The decision on whether one should settle your divorce case through mediation or litigation will depend on individual circumstances of every case. There are many cases when the two parties can sit together and negotiate their settlement details through mediation. However, there are other cases where mediation becomes a futile exercise and the two parties fail to. You can else enter into a deal with the come to any amicable settlement.
Gerald A. Maggio is a trained Orange County divorce mediator who has amicably resolved cases many cases out of court, as well as an experienced divorce and family law attorney. Mr. Maggio founded California Divorce Mediators in 2012 with the belief that although “not every marriage can be saved, every family can” and a mission to save families from the financial and emotional distress associated with traditional divorce litigation. California Divorce Mediators is located in Irvine, California, and serves the Orange County area and other counties in California offering divorce mediation, child custody mediation and mediation of other family law matters. 
