What To Do If You Can No Longer Afford Spousal Or Child Support

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsA common concern that often comes up after the declaration of a divorce judgment in the court is the spouse who has been asked to pay for spousal or child support declares his or her inability to do so any more. The aim of this article is to discuss the steps that should be taken if such an issue comes up.

Step 1: Go through the divorce decree thoroughly

While it is an obvious thing to do, there are several people who tend to overlook it. A divorce judgment is an extremely crucial document, which anyone such as the judge, litigant and attorney should examine carefully. It is a document that the basic framework to determine how to proceed.

There are some cases where the judgment was announced many years ago. In such cases, the support that is unaffordable can be already the unable. Hence, it is extremely crucial to read the language well especially in the section for spousal support or child support of the court judgment to find out the conditions, which could lead to an automatic censure of support. There could be also a particular end date to pay for support according to the judgment pronounced. When such conditions are specified, the spouse who has been paying may just stop paying for alimony or child support. You need to also conduct a proper review of the judgment for making sure whether your court has reserved its jurisdiction over matters related to spousal support or child support.

Step 2: Put your best foot forward to reach an agreement

Your next step should be to find out whether the issue can be settled informally without the knocking the doors of the court. In order to get it done, it makes sense to directly interact with recipient of your support and know whether they are comfortable with a possible reduction.

When you and the other party do not succeed in reaching an agreement, you may else take help from alternative resources of dispute resolution like family law judges who have retired or mediators specializing in family law. When you take such an initiative, there could be the formation of a confidential forum to resolve your disputes in a cost-effective and timely sinner instead of taking the matter to the court.

Step 3: Get set for your post-judgment litigation

In case you and the other party are unable to reach an agreement, the only choice left before you is to approach your Family Law Court to plead your case for a modification action on the judgment issued previously. The opposing party should receive a copy of such a motion.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Ways To Lower Your Divorce-Related Stress

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediators orange county; California Divorce MediatorsFrom the time you have filed a divorce petition, there are lots to worry about. You are still figuring out how to move your kids between two different households, trying to coordinate with your divorce lawyer or a mediator or both, handling your children’s emotional needs and coping up with the emotional stress you could be going through. Even experts say that divorce is one of the biggest stressors of life. Hence, it is imperative that you put your best foot forward to ensure that your stress is minimized. There are certain activities you should drop and certain others you should continue doing to deal with your stress.

Discard

Conventional dinners

Drop the practice of having traditional dinners. Instead, try to go for snack dinners. Take out your plate and fill them up with healthy food products such as peanut butter, rolls, peanuts, grapes, apple slices, applesauce, and cheese slices. There should be a proper ratio of carbs, vegetables/fruits and proteins in your diet. Thus, you now have a well-balanced but easy to gather dinner ready within a few minutes.

Electronic gadgets

It has been often proved that certain devices are not good to depend on as babysitters. However, at times when children are thoroughly bored, the stress level of the mom is maximum or there is a doctor’s appointment at the last moment, some devices may help. But over-dependence on electronic devices is not good for health in the long run. Try to avoid them just before your bedtime as the blue light being emitted from them may cause havoc to your kid’s sleep.

Continue

Chatting with your children

By this time your children are aware that you are going through a rough patch. When you validate their feelings and discuss issues with them openly in a loving and positive way, you will enjoy a healthy relationship with them during this tough time.

Bedtime routine with kids

The right kind of bedtime routine you follow with your kids can make them relaxed while being a great stress-buster for them. Maintaining a consistent schedule even while you are stressed can bring in comfort while minimizing stress-related insomnia. Researches have proved that it can alleviate the stress levels of the moms too.

Have dates with family at night

You can have family date nights with your children though there could be financial constraints now. However, many big cities offer plenty of free activities that you can indulge in with your children. The least you can do is go out for a picnic in the nearby park or take them out for a walk after completing dinner.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.

Tips to Keep Your Divorce Expenses Down

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsAlthough you could be the one you initiated your divorce process, it may still take a toll on you. It is quite a costly process and there is hardly anyone who emerges as a winner in a divorce? Costs can get multiplied when a single household splits into two. But rational and logical thoughts, proper planning and education may be helpful in lowering the financial impact. Check out the following suggestions that can come handy for keeping your costs in check during the divorce.

Try to stay out of a court as far as possible

A litigated divorce can be quite an expensive affair. In fact, it may even deplete the marital assets of a couple who are about to end their marriage. Collaborative or mediation divorce can save both money and time and also help in completing the procedure in a proper manner. When these approaches are adopted, it is easy to agree on common grounds so that a mutually satisfactory agreement between the couple can be reached. When both the parties are flexible and can come out with solutions to sort out their issues, there could be a cooperative association between the former spouses in the future. Hence the parties can proceed with fewer possibilities of conflict and stress, particularly when kids are involved in a marriage.

You can secure professional help to get a feel of your financial situation

Splitting natural properties and financial issues can be extremely time consuming and complicated aspects while a couple gets divorced. Expenses can shoot up drastically as a consequence. It is recommended to hire an experienced attorney as they have the necessary expertise and experience on similar legal matters. The only point you need to take care us about hiring an attorney with specialized knowledge of handling with complex financial matters.

Increase communication and reduce conflicts

You need to realize that when you fight more, your divorce proceeding could get more complicated, It in turn will make the overall process more expensive. Make sure that the attorney hired by your spouse or your attorney does not try to encourage conflict between the two of you. You need to think rationally so that you can continue to communicate freely with your estranged spouse. When you adopt a flexible approach and are ready to negotiate, you can actually save thousands of bucks. There is hardly any merit to try taking revenge on your former spouse or extract vengeance for their supposed bad behavior. The culmination of the distribution of your marital property should be accomplished in a manner that is equitable and just for both the parties involved.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Tips for Men to Cope After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation attorneys; California Divorce MediatorsThere are some men who take a deep sigh of relief once their divorce comes through. However, for most men, it can be a shattering experience, which can impact their lives in a negative way. There is no doubt that divorce is not a child’s play. Plus the effects of divorce on men should not be taken light-heartedly. In fact, there are some men who start living a life of pain and suffering after separating from their wives. In case you are one of them, here are some top tips that can help you in coping with your divorce.

Stay away from drugs and alcohol since they are not the right way to handle your divorce 

Many men commit this dumb mistake post divorce. In fact, they feel that drugs and drinking can help them to forget all about their past and enable them to come out of this crisis. However, abuse of drugs and alcohol is one of the big mistakes men can think of after their divorce is finalized.

Divorced men should avoid further conflict and stress with former spouses 

You and your estranged spouse can have different viewpoints and opinions. However, when both of you tend to engage in conflicting situations, it can be counter-productive for both of you. Such emotional banters and bickering can be obstacles to move on with your life and bring more anger and misery.

Start altering your life as soon as possible 

Once your divorce comes through, it is time to make a self-commitment to start altering your life. You can take small steps for accomplishing this by taking good care of your soul, mind and physical well being. To begin with your body should be more active so that there is positivity and energy in you. Secondly, you should try to cleanse your mind from self-destructive and negative emotions. Finally, you need to do some serious soul searching too.

Check out some activities that you may consider:

  • Go to a good hair salon and get a stylish haircut. You are beginning a new life and it can be a good start.
  • Try to have regular and healthy diet. Such a practice will make your body healthy.
  • Concentrate on your job instead of quitting. While your divorce could be a devastating chapter in your life, you should not let your career suffer because of that. Additionally, you will need more money after your divorce.
  • You should shave and shower regularly. Do not forget to use nice smelling cologne before going out to make you feel good. After all, you are a new individual post divorce and should look good to get on with your life.

Be in touch with your close friends

Your friends’ support is very precious at this juncture of your life. Call them up and request them to come over to your place.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Things to Know before Separating From Your Spouse

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsTo separate from one’s spouse or partner is one of the most difficult and painful decisions to make. If you are a married person, the lives of you and your spouse get intertwined in many ways. Separation can be a devastating experience when a spouse is still in love with the other spouse.

However, it is important to note in this context that a divorce may not be a necessary outcome of every separation. There are several couples who look at separation as a much-needed opportunity to work out issues and also get some space to think. No matter what the ultimate outcomes are, one should not take the decision of separating in a light-hearted manner. In case you are contemplating to separate from your spouse, these are some of the things you should know:

It s crucial to lay down some ground rules

When you are trying to make up your mind about separating, establishing ground rules may not be something you take seriously. But when you establish a few ground rules to start with, it becomes simpler to point out what you are looking out from your separation. Firstly, it is important to indulge in some serious discussions with your partner. You should make a joint decision on if you will be in touch with each other during the period of separation, where you both will live and so on. It is also critical to have a consensus on how to take care of difficult issues such as visitation arrangements and child care and whether you can date a new person or not.

Be happy of having a strong support network

When you have a great support network in place, life becomes easier while you are separated from your spouse. Having a supportive family and close friends during this trying period will make your life easier and calmer. You can also contemplate consulting a professional and reputable therapist to guide you. Such experts will listen to your problems and guide you to sort out your deeper issues. 

Feeling relieved is not unnatural

When your marriage is going through a rocky phase, the decision to separate and the process of separation can bring in a deep sense of relief. So, such emotions are not unusual at all. However, at the same time, you should not regard this sense of relief as a symptom that you will be happier to separate forever. Separating from your spouse does not signify that your choice of partner was incorrect. It only indicates that the present situation is not correct and there are some things that must change.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Tips On How To Move On After Infidelity

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsA spouse may go through great mental by social agony when they find about the illicit relationship of their partner. In fact, they may constantly think about it till their heads stagger. However, these people need to understand that most of the times their spouses may not depend that kind of energy and they just do not care.  It is better not to dwell too much into their acts of infidelity.

Try to come to terms with your emotions

Although every case is a unique one, you can definitely do certain things to reduce your pain. Your roller coaster ride of emotions suddenly begins once you get to know about your spouse’s betrayal. It is natural for you to go through several emotions like fear, a sense of deep loss, great fury and disillusionment. You should try to realize that going crazy will not be of any use. After all, there are many other people who have gone through the same kind of confusion and mental agony but have managed to survive. So, you should never forget that you are not the only person to suffer. Follow these easy tips to help you move on in life after you face betrayal from your spouse.

It is important for you to channelize your frustration and anger

You need to take the help of a good therapist or coach who has specialization in divorce related cases. They will listen to you describing the incident f your spouse cheating on you and then guide you to move ahead in life. A good therapist will also help you to make sure that you get the right perspective and make you realize that you still have an opportunity to lead a happy life and you are not to be blamed for the faults of your spouses. They are adults and made their own decisions. You should never own their decisions and feel bad about it.

Keep yourself thoroughly engaged with messages all through the day so that you feel better

When you indulge in self-pity and try to stay as a recluse, it is impossible to start a new life and stay positive. While no one is arguing that self-pity is normal in the beginning, you should let yourself be angry and hurt only for some time. However, you need to soon make a conscious effort to pick yourself up, and get in touch with your counselor or therapist. It is the ripe time to promise yourself to start a new journey in your life.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

How To Move On After Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsYou may feel liberated or devastated during and after the divorce. After all, it is not an easy phase in your life. You might have put years of your soul and heart to make the relationship work. Plus, you had always thought that it will be good for both of you to grow old together and yet you find yourself lonely. Though it is tough, moving on is both empowering as well as rejuvenating for you, especially when you are determined to start afresh. Check out some of these areas where you can focus on is that there is a smooth transition through your divorce.

Prioritize those activities that took a backseat during your marriage

You could have sacrificed your career and hobbies for the sake of your marriage.  After all, the past years have been too hectic for you as you hardly had any time while looking after your family. As such, it is likely that your old passions had to be compromised. Your activities, hobbies and career have got neglected a lot. Try to bring back that old spark in your life. Divert your mind from the ugliness of the divorce proceeding by extolling yourself for cooking classes or taking up riding lessons you had always wanted to join earlier but did not have the time.

Concentrate once again on self-care

Taking care of self is a big challenge for many women. It has been taught to you ever since your childhood days that you should be always kind and selfless to others. However, on many occasions, women confuse between selflessness and neglecting themselves. They try to give a priority to everything else. It is the right time for you to prioritize your well being now. After all, if you continue to neglect yourself, your home, work or kids may get neglected when are unwell.

Focus on your social support

Getting divorced can be one of the most stressful events in your life. Since you are not going through an easy phase in your life, it is important to develop your social support to get over your current turmoil. Try to nurture your earlier relationships as well as explore fresh options for forming valuable connections and create friendships. Such an initiative can be taken through different ways.  Check out some of them.

  • Make new friends and establish connection with your old friends once again.
  • Try to be a part of various groups according to your interests like socializing, hiking gardening, wine-tasting and so on.
  • You can also contemplate joining a support group now. You will find plenty of them around you.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Reasons Why Some Women Are Happier After They Get Divorced

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsWhen the Kingston University conducted a study for analyzing whether women had a negative effect after divorce or not, the result was quite surprising. About ten thousand people were surveyed as a part of this research and the respondents were in the age group f 16 to 60. The respondents were asked during the survey to rate how they felt before their divorce and after the divorce got finalized,

The researchers found out during the course of two decades of time period that women appeared to be more satisfied and happier in their lives after their divorces came through. Check out some of the following reasons why women could be happier after their divorce.

Women tend to seek more professional help to get over their trauma than men

It has been observed that women are more likely to approach a therapist or a counselor after their divorce to get over their emotional trauma and grief. On the other grand men tend to keep their pain more to themselves during the same phase in their lives; since they are less likely to seek professional support, it may take more time to overcome their grief and stress.

Positive support system

As compared to men, women are more likely to ensure that they have a positive support system around them during such a difficult time like their families and friends.

Different strategies for coping up with their emotional upheaval

Usually, women are known to possess unique strategies to cope up with their emotions. Women tend to look inward to seek comfort for overcoming their emotional pain. Men have a tendency to look outward. Women introspect on whether they had a role in the breakup of their marriage and they work harder to overcome their emotions and let go of their past and concentrate on their future.

Less chance of alcohol abuse

Many men tend to get addicted to alcohol during such times but women are less likely to do so.   Moreover, women are less likely to turn to casual sex and new relationships quickly for distracting them from the agony of divorce as compared to men.

Look out for new experience

Divorced women have a greater possibility to look out for new experiences post their divorce. These fresh experiences can provide them hope for a bright future and can even enrich their lives.

Powerful sense of perseverance

For many divorced women, giving up does not come easy as they have a stronger sense of perseverance as compared to divorced men. Many divorced women also do most of the childcare job as well as rake up jobs to have a better financial stability.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

How To Befriend Your Ex-Spouse After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsA divorce isn’t always the ‘be all and end all’ of a relationship. A relationship can be defined in many different ways. A divorce ends a legal marriage. It takes a little time to get over the relationship. But you wouldn’t always want to cut contact with the person you married. Sometimes you still want to remain in touch. Your partner has been a big part of your life and you don’t want to lose that.

Staying in touch for divorced couples who have shared custody of their children is inevitable. In such circumstances, being cordial and developing a friendly relationship for the benefit of the child is vital. To help you with the process, listed below are a few tips you can employ in your relationship to ensure your transition from a spouse to a friend seamlessly.

Accept and forgive

Changing your relationship status from spouse to friend is difficult. It comes with a host of insecurities and unresolved issues. The foremost task at hand is to accept your ex for the person he/she is and forgive him/her for his/her actions. It’s important to also understand that your partner might look out for another partner or start dating. Focusing on yourself and your life is important for your personal growth and in turn your friendship with your ex.

Time to get over

Divorces can sometimes get really messy. Getting over the person you thought was your soul mate is never easy. Memories, unresolved baggage, and loneliness do tend to get to people. Take some time away from your ex. Start a new hobby or focus on work to create a distraction and give you time to analyze your situation. Seek the help of a therapist and work your way around your emotions to eventually accept the divorce and come to terms with the present arrangement of the relationship. Consult with your Orange County divorce attorney or mediator if you want to make any changes to the present arrangement that you think may help you to improve the relationship with your ex.

Reach out

If it means you taking the first step towards the intended friendship, then go for it. Reach out to your ex and acknowledge your friendship. Communicating each other’s points of view on the subject helps deal with the lost relationship and hones the friendship. Communication gives you a perspective and means to improve the friendship.

Keep in touch

It’s important to maintain the friendship by keeping in touch. It’s vital to hone this rapport if you are raising a kid with your ex. Ensure you keep a contact with your ex. Co-ordinating with your ex over activities, events like weddings or your child’s schedule help build this rapport. A cordial friendship respects the fallen romantic relationship by eradicating remorse or regret.

At the end of the day, your life is all about living it to the fullest. So why live with negativity and regret. Divorce may be the end of a marriage, but it could be the beginning of a valuable friendship.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Considering Your Credit Ratings When You Get Divorced

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsIf you are getting divorced, it is imperative for you to be cautious so that your credit does not get damaged during the process. Check out some of these common scenarios that you should be vigilant about.

It is becoming too much to make the car payments 

The court has declared that the family car should be awarded to the ex-wife. However, she is also supposed to take ownership of the payments. When the couple was married, it might not have been a strain to make those payments. However, now that she is shifting to a new house and has to completely rely on her own personal income, she may end up paying the EMIs late. When payments are not made on time, the credit report may get hit. 

None of the spouses paid the due on their joint credit. 

When the divorce settlement is being negotiated, both the parties usually settle and decide who will bear the responsibility of paying certain debts, For instance, the former husband is supposed to pay the debt on the joint credit card. When he fails to pay off the debt, collections may receive that account. As a result, there could be significant damage caused to the records of both the parties although the former wife is clueless about what was happening.

No credit as there was no history 

In many marriages, only one of the spouses controls finances. On many occasions, the names of both the couples may feature on the accounts. For instance, only the husband’s name appears on the sole credit card and on the mortgage and the wife has to depend on their family checking account. After a divorce is finalized, the said wife may not have any credit as she did not attempt to create her separate credit history during the marriage. It is important to note that credit history is a part of the credit score.

Ensure that credit record are protected

The spouses should realize that credit scores are an important concern during the process of divorce. It is crucial for both the parties to contemplate about personal credit history. They should address relevant concerns in their divorce decree. Here are some of the ways of doing so.

  • Separate from the joint account 

A spouse should ensure that their name no longer features in an account controlled by the ex.

  • Must have separate and own accounts 

One needs to ensure their access to credit. Both the parties should ensure that those accounts have a good history.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation