How To File For Divorce When Not A California Resident For The Prior 6 Months

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediators in California; California Divorce Mediators; California laws and rules regarding divorces are straightforward and do not require much insight. As is common in other states, California too has residency requirements for couples who want a divorce.

The residency requirements for a California dissolution of marriage are clearly stated on the first page of the Petition form. The most important requirement for petitioners and respondents is that they must have stayed for a minimum of six months in California before they can get divorced. However, since not everyone can meet the criteria there are ways to go around the six-month residency requirement.

At least one spouse must meet the requirement

A divorce can take place if either of the spouse meets the residency requirement of California. The form states that at least one spouse must meet the residency requirement for the divorce to take place.

When both spouses don’t meet the requirement

It becomes a bit complicated when neither of the spouse meets the six-month residency requirement. In California, the laws are clearly stated and avoiding or breaking them can result in severe punishment. One of the best options is to simply wait till the six-month residency requirement is fulfilled. Talk to your spouse and wait it out. It is useful for people who are nearing the requirement period and don’t want to wait too long for the divorce to take place.

The other option is to file for a legal separation than a dissolution of marriage. That way you won’t have to stay with your spouse and once one of you reach the residency requirements, you can get a divorce. After you meet the six-month requirement, you can file for an amended petition and request the court to convert it into a divorce petition. By doing so, you immediately get access to the Family Law Court.

Conclusion

California has strict residency requirements and couples who want a divorce are expected to stay for at least six months before a divorce can take place. But many couples don’t meet the requirement but they still want a divorce to take place. The most common way to do it is to wait for the six-month period to get over. Additionally, couples can opt for legal separation and then get it converted into a divorce. However, it is best to consult an experienced divorce lawyer before going through a divorce proceeding.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Understanding The Types of Child Custody in California

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation attorneys Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsIn the State of California, couples who are on the path of divorce are advised to read up about all the rights that apply to them so they do not get the short end of the stick. Even unmarried parents have legal rights that cannot be stripped away from them.

Joint legal custody

According to California’s Family Code, parents that have joint legal custody of their children need to ‘share’ the responsibilities of ensuring the well being of the children. Share is the critical term here. You don’t need to share details about everything, but you will need to share details of critical parts of the child’s life such as medical, dental, and education records unless specified otherwise by a court.

Under joint legal custody, a parent cannot do things such as infringing on other’s custodial time, taking the child and moving away, or seeking therapy for the child without the knowledge and consent of the other parent. If a parent violates joint legal custody, then a court could strip some of the parent’s rights away depending on the nature of the violation.

Sole physical custody

The parent whop does not have sole physical or legal custody of a child still possesses the right to access records about the child in question. The parent will also have ‘reasonable visitation’ rights. Sole custody does not deprive noncustodial parents of all their rights, and they have the right to ask courts to strictly define visitation times and schedules. However, the sole custodian will have the exclusive legal authority to make decisions about a child’s education, welfare, and health. The noncustodial parent has the right to challenge these decisions in court and have it overturned if a court determines that it is against a child’s best interests.

What about child preference?

After the California Family Code 3042 was implemented in January 2012, child preference is now more important than ever before. A child’s preference will be taken into account by a court as will factors such as maturity, parental influence, social conditioning, financial health, and other factors that affect a child’s well-being. If a child is sufficiently mature and meets all the relevant criterion, a court will be obliged to respect the wishes of the child. Children who are or above the age of 14 are allowed to attend and address the court regarding their preferences.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Coping With Stress During And After Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Top Orange County divorce mediators; California divorce mediatorsDivorce can result in a variety of negative emotions and if you are going through one then you know the feeling. Most of the time people going through a bad divorce feel stressed from the entire experience and it ends up having a negative impact on their lives. In situation like these it is very important to relax and learn how to deal with the stress.

Contemplate your decision to get divorced

The decision to legally end a relationship can be a difficult choice and the feelings after the divorce can be worse. When you get divorced it not only affects you and your partner but it affects friends and family members as well. On the emotional front, you and some family members will face a hard time. It is important to contemplate on your decision and then taking the necessary step. You should try and talk to your partner about it and the way it makes him/her feel. If you feel there is a chance, however small, for things to work out, you should consider that option. You can even consult experts like divorce mediators for more details.

Pay attention to emotional needs

Usually, people who get divorced want to stay isolated and away from social gatherings. But being isolated makes the experience even more difficult than it already is. If you have just experienced a divorce it is important that you find support from your friends and families.

You can also seek help from people who have gone through divorce. They will understand how you feel and can guide you in a better way.

You should spend more time with people who enjoy your company and who value you. Such people can not only be your stress buster but they can also provide moral support as well. The feeling of being neglected only makes things worse and you should avoid isolation at all cost.

Take care of yourself

During and after a divorce the most important thing that you tend to ignore is yourself. Divorces can be painful but that does not mean the end of the world. Treat your divorce like a flu and try overcoming it. Go for a vacation and meet new people. Try taking a break from your job and visit different places where you always wanted to go. Moving away from the old home and relocating to a new place also works.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

The Rate Of Gray Divorces Is On The Rise

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation attorneys Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsIn 2016, the rate of gray divorces rose by three times than gray divorces in 1990. More couples above the age of 65 are heading for courtrooms to get divorced. Experts have cited many reasons for this trend and some of them include the changing laws, evolving status of women in society and less stigma associated with divorces.

Reasons for gray divorces

The rise of gray divorces cannot be limited to any one reason. There are different speculated causes for the rise in gray divorces. The rise does not necessarily indicate that older people are discontent with their marriages. Today’s lifestyle and the change in outlook has made it possible for more and more older people to head for a divorce. Previously, divorcees were often faced with social stigma and divorces were looked upon as embarrassments. But things have changed and getting a divorce has become more common than it used to be.

Probably the most important reason for the rise in gray divorces is the evolving status of women.  Women have become an important part of the work force and they are choosing a life that makes them more independent. Women have become less dependent on their male counterparts in terms of finances and it is probably why women make up the majority of people who initiate gray divorces.

Another reason for gray divorces is the change in state laws which has made it easier for couples to get a divorce. Previously, laws concerning divorces especially gray divorces were tough and many couples did not want to go through such a rigorous process. But now individual states have relaxed divorce laws and most couples can now head for an easy divorce.

Impact of divorces at a later stage in life

Divorces can be a difficult process both in terms of emotions and finances. Asset division during a divorce can be a major problem if the number of assets and property is high. Young couples may find it relatively easy because the number of assets amassed will be substantially less than those of older couples. For gray couples, getting a good lawyer should be their first step when getting a divorce.

Conclusion

Gray divorces are on the rise due to the changing social lifestyle for both men and women. Women have now become independent and feel that getting a divorce at a later stage in life can actually be beneficial for them.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Symptoms That Your Kids Are Getting Stressed From Your Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

child custody attorneys in Orange CountyDivorce triggers both kids as well as adults to make several adjustments and face tough challenges. However, there is a difference in how each child responds to their parent’s divorce. While a majority of them will handle these challenges with maturity and sensibility and grow up into well-adjusted adults, there are some kids who go through behavioral and emotional difficulties when their parents go through a divorce. And though there are differences in the long-term reaction in a child to the divorce of their parents, many kids may go through emotional distress and emotions like conflicts, confusion, guilt, fury, anxiety, and sadness in the short-term. Such emotions pop up when there is a question of loyalty towards their parents and a strong desire to spend more time with their absent parent.

When you notice the following symptoms of distress within your kid, you need to take appropriate action such as taking them to a therapist so that they can overcome their emotional problems when your divorce comes through.

Drastic change in academic performance

Do you find your kid is showing dismal performance in the tests? Is he losing interest in his school activities? This could be a telltale sign that he is emotionally disturbed.

Refuses to spend time with his/her parent

When there is no issue of child abuse in a family and yet a kid shows an unwillingness to spend their time with the parent, it can be a symptom that the kid feels the requirement of taking sides. A child should not feel that they are forcefully put in a situation where they have to select one parent over their other.

Increase in certain type of physical complaints

When you find them complaining about their physical conditions such as stomach aches or headaches quite often, it may mean that they are going through a tough time to come up with the divorce of their parents.  Allergy, stomachaches, and headaches are some of the most common symptoms that your kid is going through an emotional distress.

Prolonged and significant change in the behavior

You have always known that your child to be extremely polite bit you may find them being inconsiderate all of a sudden when your divorce case is going on. Your outgoing, gregarious and talkative kid can express less interest in social activities and friends.

Does not show keenness to engage in family, school, athletic or social activities

This is another important symptom that your children are clinically depressed as a result of your divorce from your spouse.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

What Is Divorce Coaching And How Can It Be Useful To You?

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediation attorneys in Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsWhile terms like litigation and divorce attorneys are known to many, everyone is not so aware of divorce coaches. A good divorce coach may have a very important role to play when your divorce proceeding is going on. If you are wondering what a divorce coach is, they are individuals who can guide you to explore different facts of your divorce.  They are particularly of help for all those parties who could be moving ahead with an amicable separation.

Defining divorce coaching

A third party who can offer assistance at different points while a divorce is going on is called a divorce coach. They are professionals usually having a background in family or marriage therapy. A divorce coach can prove to be a valuable asset for all those couples who want to separate amicably and yet are having a tough time in conducting a productive and stress free discussion without the presence of an intermediary. A divorce coach frequently helps in making both the parties communicate about tough and contentious discussion points so that the talks do not take an ugly turn and there is a better result for the concerned parties.

Different roles of a divorce coach

Divorce coaching may take place in several ways. A divorce coach can get involved in the difficult phases of a divorce so that the couple finds it easier to figure out the right divorce method for them. They also enable the couples to sort out their different marital challenges and live together for a long time to come.

A divorce coach has a significant role to play when the actual divorce process continues. Their key aim is to ensure that there is a successful communication between both the parties so that the couple can arrive at an agreement that is mutually beneficial in the long term.

Last, but not the last, a divorce coach can also play a big part in offering a helping hand during the parenting process post a couple’s divorce in some cases. It is a specialized form of divorce coaching which is referred to as a “Co-parenting coach.” Such a coach is equipped in navigating through the post-divorce parenting process to come up with the best possible solution for the concerned family.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

5 Tips On How To Tell Your Kids That You Are Getting Divorced

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

child custody mediation Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsIt is not an easy task to tell your kids that your spouse and you are getting divorced. However, you can still make things to a certain extent when you abide by a simple plan formed on the basis of emotional comfort and truth. Check out some of the tips mentioned below to tell your children that you are divorcing their other parent.

Your children are not responsible for this situation and they should know this

The best way you can alleviate the pain of your kids is by telling them the reason why you are separating. However, explain them in such a manner that is easy for them to digest. Whatever is the truth and what you disclose to the children need not necessarily match. After all, it is not your kids’ fault and they need to be told this fact so that they do not feel guilty or unsure.

Maintain civility with your estranged or ex-spouse in front of the children

When you establish mutually agreed upon and clear expectations as well as boundaries about your divorce, your children will be less apprehensive and anxious. There should be proper clarity in the messages that are sent about your separation or divorce and the possible transitions thereafter. Your child may get baffled when he or she hears conflicting words from the people they trust the most in their lives. You may not have similar kind of parenting styles or not agree upon on day-to-day operations, when there is a unified front; your children are going to benefit from it.

Do not share information that is not apt for your kids

Avoid discussing adult details with them. There is a possibility that they will not even understand what you are trying to tell them and may even start resenting you for various reasons. It could be because you are using nasty words against the other parents offering them a concealed request for judging the prevailing situation and maybe even try to overburden them with your grief and predicament. Simply share with them what they must know and the communication should take place in a sincere and honest manner. After all, your focus should be on the children instead of on the grown-ups.

Stop playing the blame game

It is definite that you are aware of the cause of your separation. But your children need not know the actual reason. When you blame your soon-to-be former spouse for the impending divorce, there is a possibility that you are trying to poke your child to take sides. You need to remember that it is unhealthy for your kid to feel that that the other parent should be blamed for the divorce or the separation.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Why Divorce Mediation Is Better Than Litigation

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

divorce mediation attorneys in Orange CountyThe decision on whether one should settle your divorce case through mediation or litigation will depend on individual circumstances of every case. There are many cases when the two parties can sit together and negotiate their settlement details through mediation.  However, there are other cases where mediation becomes a futile exercise and the two parties fail to. You can else enter into a deal with the come to any amicable settlement.

Mediation is a cost-effective technique to resolve the differences in a divorce in some circumstances. But there are other circumstances when one of the parties or both of them need to approach a court to get the desired outcomes.

Merits of settling a divorce case

Settlement offers a host of benefits as compared to a divorce lawsuit or a legal dispute. Here are some of them.

Stress

It is possible to reduce stressful situations to some extent by opting for a settlement as compared to going for a trial or litigation.  The latter may have unexpected outcomes and both parties may not like to stand on a witness stand in the court and share their private stories with the judge in front of many people. Additionally, they may not like the prospect of being cross-examined by the lawyer for the other party.

Less expensive

When the parties opt for a trial, the process involves experts, attorneys, time, travel, witnesses among others. In case a case can be settled prior to going on a trial, several such expenses are drastically reduced or removed altogether.

More predictable as compared to trial

Any good divorce lawyer will mention that the decision of a jury is not quite predictable. In comparison, you can declare your terms for the divorce settlement agreements. You can also enter into a deal either the other party, which is acceptable to both of you.

Privacy

If you opt for settling your case, many of its details are not included in the court documents. They are not treated as public records; clause god confidentiality is included in several court documents.

Sense of finality prevails

If a couple opts for litigation, the party that lists the case has a right to appeal against the judgment made by a court. Thus, the divorce process may drag on for several months. On the other hand, a settlement is not usually appealed.

When is it better to opt for litigation?

When either both the parties or one of them do not agree to settle or refuses to come to a negotiating table then a lawsuit can become imperative at other times when a plaintiff needs to settle his or her sense of what is wrong and what is right, they may opt for a legal proceeding.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

These Are The Emotional Phases of Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediation lawyers; California Divorce MediatorsNo two people react the same way to their divorce. However, there are certain emotional phases everyone goes through while experiencing their divorce.

There are certain phases that could be as painful as the feeling when a dear one passes away. When you know what to expect, it becomes easier for you to sail through these phases. However, the negative feelings may still be within you. You will also find that done phases are easier to move through as compared to the others.

  1. Refusing to believe

You may find it extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that the divorce is happening to you. In fact, you are not ready to accept the end of your relationship and frantically struggle to find out answers to your marital problems. And you still spend your time convinced that when you do or say the right thing, there is a possibility of the return of your spouse. You are convinced that your divorce cannot be a solution for the marital problems both of you are going through.

  1. Surprise and shock

Emotions like numbness, fury, panic or feeling that you are becoming crazy are normal in this phase. There is a swing between a hope that your marriage can still be restored and sadness that all is over in your marriage. You will feel it impossible to handle these feelings. Moreover, there are certain fears you start experiencing while thinking about the future all alone. Questions like whether you will find love again or not and how to survive after your divorce will start haunting you.

  1. It will be a roller coaster ride of emotions

It feels difficult for you to settle your thoughts and emotions. At one moment you see a gleam of hope in your life but the next moment you feel agony and despair. This is a phase where you also try to introspection what exactly happened. When you can understand and appreciate that, your pain will ebb and everything will start making sense once again.

  1. Negotiating

In this phase, you may still cling to the hope that a restoration of your marriage is not entirely impossible. You are willing and flexible to alter things in yourself or do anything if it will make your spouse return home.

  1. Letting go

This is a phase where you eventually realize that your marriage has ended. You cannot say nor do anything to alter that.

  1. Accepting facts

Your obsessive thoughts have stopped bothering you in this phase. You no longer feel the urge to restore your marriage and start feeling that you can have a fulfilling and new life before you.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation

Lawyer Or Mediator? Which One Should You Opt For During Divorce

Posted by: Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

orange county divorce mediation; California Divorce MediatorsDivorces can be complicated matters and getting caught in the middle of legal problems is common. some people try avoiding divorce cases by going through a mediation first.  A divorce mediator helps couples either negotiate divorce settlements or resolve issues that leads to the dissolution of marriage.

However, divorce mediation is not appropriate in all situations.  For certain cases where domestic abuse or some kind of crime is involved, courts often start divorce proceedings without a mediation. But it can be confusing for people who are stuck in between and don’t know whether to hire a lawyer or a mediator.

When does mediation work?

California courts always favor divorce mediations and alternatives to divorce because it saves them for going into complicated cases. They can instead focus on more pressing matters. It is the reason why courts ask couples to go through a mediation process before the divorce is finalized.

Mediation processes are successful when the idea of a divorce is mutual and both parties understand what it means for them. Divorce mediations are useful when the couples are open to comprise without any emotional attachment.

Mediation is a powerful process and many marriages have worked out after couples went through a mediation process.

When does going to a lawyer work?

Divorce mediations are absolutely necessary but in some cases, they are not required. In cases where clear signs of domestic abuse or child abuse is involved, mediation is unnecessary. In other cases, where the court feels that a mediation is waste of time, divorce proceedings are directly handled by lawyers. Sometimes, mediators and lawyers are the same person and the roles are intertwined. For such lawyers, it becomes easy to do both without the client or the courts interference.

Conclusion

Since divorces can become ugly, mediation processes that can potentially save the marriage is often used to pacify issues between the couple. Mediation processes work best when both parties are ready to reach a common ground where they can work out things. Often, it helps save their marriage. Divorce mediations also help couples who aren’t too emotional or touchy about the dissolution of their marriage.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation