How Adult Children Can Cope Up With The Divorce Of Their Parents

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Orange County divorce mediators; California Divorce MediatorsMany adult children face unique and big challenges especially when there is a break up of their parents’ long-term marriage. A popular philosophy adopted by parents who divorce quite late is that that they decided to wait until their children grew up and left the house to pursue a higher education or a job. Plus, these parents feel that their adult children can handle the split better since they are older now. They are also less vulnerable, wiser and stronger.

But in reality that may not be the case always. After all no matter how old they are, children will always remain children. Children may still feel hurt when their parents decide to part ways just like they would have felt had their parents took the same decision when they were younger. The sadness will still be there but they will not get the luxury of expressing their grief always. Rather, they become the listening ears since their parents pour their tales of sufferings to them.

Check out the following strategies adult children should use to cope up with the trauma of their parents’ divorce.

Bring a shift in your perspective

Rather than grieving because you are bearing the wrath of your mother’s fury and disillusionment, simply keep reminding yourself that you are facing a temporary situation. Your parents will once again become “normal” after things get slightly settled. Although it could even take some years, the situation will not be bleak forever. Meanwhile, you have your own independent life to lead. So, concentrate on developing your own life.

Try to realize that the caustic behavior from your parents is not usual in a divorce as family dynamics may change

You need to understand that you are not the only adult child who is going through this transitional phase. Such things happen quite frequently since others like you have also got annoyed with their parents. In fact, there are thousands of adult children who have gone through similar emotions when their parents divorced.

Pickup coping strategies

It is time for you to compartmentalize all those negative conversations you are exchanging with your parents at this phase of their life. Make a conscious effort to put an end to such negative and sad thoughts. When you keep thinking about it, your trauma will only increase. So address it carefully and logically to come out of your current mental state. Find out space and time to engage yourself in what you are fond of doing. Go out for a stroll, listen to your favorite band, read books, travel to new places or spend more time with your close friends. Such activities will distract your mind from the negative thoughts.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation