How Long Should Single Mothers Wait Before They Start Dating Again?

By Gerald A. Maggio, Esq.

Divorce mediator attorneys Orange County; California Divorce MediatorsGetting back on track after a divorce is no easy task. After going through emotional upheavals, restoring back the spark which you once had during your marriage or before it can take time. One of the things that must have crossed your mind after a divorce is “should I date again?”. Well you should if you feel like it but like everything else there is a proper time. But it really depends upon you.

As a single mother, your correct time to date also depends a lot upon your child. That is one of the challenges of being a single mother when you want to start a fresh relationship.

Finding the right time

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been divorced for one month or one year. It’s your choice when you want to date. It’s very hard to tell when you’ll become ready to go out on a date again. As a single mother, most of your free time might be spent in looking after your children.

One of the things that you can try to do is make time for yourself by going out with your friends. Initially leaving your kids behind while you’re out partying might make you feel guilty but slowly you’ll realize that it’s not a bad thing really. When you’ve become habituated to going out without your kids, you can try and meet new men.

Tell your kids about it

Honestly, your waiting period is directly linked to your children coping up with your new way of life. When kids are involved, you need to think from their perspective. Kids show a variety of emotions and sometimes it’s very hard to gauge what might be feeling. And since their mom is concerned, the feelings might be more intense.

Consider legal problems

It’s a good idea to consider any legal difficulties that might be present when you start dating someone. In California, divorces usually don’t last for more than six months but in some cases, it might last up to two years. Now you definitely don’t want to wait for two years before you start dating. But then again, you don’t want to get caught up in legal problems either. The best thing would be to maintain an amicable relationship with your husband and let him know that you are considering going into a new relationship.


As far as dating is concerned, single mothers can find it difficult to decide when to start dating again. As a mother, you should give more priority to your child and then to yourself. When both things work out fine, you’ll know the right time to date.

To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation