Guidelines For Peaceful Co-Parenting With Your Ex
In a majority of divorce cases, both the parties involved are caught up in a perpetual cycle of resentment and retaliation. Both partners are willing to go to extremes in trying to avenge the psychological damage a divorce brings to them. However, if a child is involved in a parental separation, the situation becomes even worse. In order to create a peaceful transition from a happy family to a single parent upbringing for your child, you need to ensure that the co-parenting is carried out amicably with the other parent. There are a few co-parenting guidelines which you may follow in order to achieve minimum stress for your child.
Understanding your divorce settlement
Most of the co-parenting issues stem from a misunderstanding of the divorce settlement, which often leads to skewed notions about how one needs to carry out co-parenting. Asking questions regarding the visitation arrangement and having a sound understanding of its instructions is critical to a smooth co parenting procedure. Fighting over who will take the kid out on Halloween or what is the duration of the visit will be highly detrimental to the mental well being of your child. Since separate states have separate laws for visitation and custody related settlements, you need to consult your attorney and obtain a thorough understanding of what your divorce decree entails.
It is understandable that in a highly hostile situation such as a divorce, the parties involved find it extremely difficult and draining to fight back their overflowing emotions. However, if you really care about the best interests of your child, it is utmost essential to do away with all lies, manipulation and resentment that might fuel your battle further. While it might seem tempting to vent all your pent up anger at every chance you get, it is best advised to remove all extreme emotions from your communication with your spouse.
Prevent any outside influence
It is best to keep your new spouse or partner out of the co parenting process with your ex. Asking your new boyfriend to pick the kids up from a dance class, will do no good in subduing the hostility with your ex. A replacement for your ex might actually be viewed as a threat to them, and might provoke unsolicited arguments. It is best advised to keep your new involvements away from co-parenting, until both you and your ex are emotionally detached in an entirety.
It is only when both parties become indifferent of each other’s existence, that the co-parenting actually becomes peaceful. Although, till the time both parties get affected by each other’s actions, the process might require a lot of effort from both sides, yet it is definitely worth a shot.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.