How to Be the Best Version of Yourself During Divorce Mediation
During a divorce many people find it hard to be their usual selves. Normally calm and composed individuals find themselves short tempered, irritable and not in a mood to negotiate. The bitterness or guilt from the events leading up to the divorce, as well as the process of going through all the legal paperwork and negotiations can be enough to try anyone’s patience. Yet, there are merits to keeping your cool and being the best version of yourself through the process of a divorce, especially during mediation. Here’s how.
Visualize exchanges before they happen
It may be hard to avoid emotions getting in the way of logic. Divorce mediation isn’t about proving who is wrong or who is right. And it certainly isn’t about winning and losing. If you feel you are likely to get angry or upset about a certain issue, visualize how you will respond to what your spouse will say. Plan and prepare your response in your mind so you are cool during the actual meeting. Decisions driven by emotion and taken in the heat of the moment may leave you with regret or worse yet, make your spouse combative and lose you precious ground.
Use meditation and calming techniques
Yoga and meditation are great to both relax and center you. It will help you cope better with your issues and make your mind stronger and better equipped for what lies ahead.
Focus on your kids
If you have children, spend time with them. Do things you love together. Take them to the park, plan a picnic or a trip to the zoo, or go watch a fun movie together. It will help you and them both. Children can be great de-stressors and remind you of why this is all going to be worth it.
Do some homework
Heading into a mediation with a preconceived notion of what the outcome should be, and how genial the discussions are going to be is as bad as going in blind. If things don’t go to plan, you may feel betrayed by the process and lose focus. Be sure to stay informed, but not too set in your expectations.
You might not be in the mood to listen to what your estranged ex has to say, but listening gives you a window into their side of things that could even work to your advantage tomorrow. If you knew for instance, that they felt strongly on a certain area that was critical to you too, you would be able to better prepare to address that issue and come to a solution that is workable. Read up and hone your listening skills.
If you lose your cool during mediation, you will expose the chinks in your armor to your ex. Should all the details of your divorce settlement agreement not be resolved during mediation, and you find yourself in court battling it out, these weaknesses could be exploited by your ex’s legal team, so make the effort to keep calm and collected and be your best self.
To learn more about the divorce process in California and how mediation can help, please visit our page, What is Divorce Mediation.